Save Me, Please
by kiyah corruption
Summary: Hermione Granger has spent her childhood being abused. She feels alone, scared, and worthless. After waking up in the Hogwarts Infirmary which she doesn't recognize, she finds out she's lost her memory, and only one person can help her get it back.
1. Away from Hell

**I do not own Harry Potter or any of the amazing characters. This is one of my first fanfics. Be nice, please please PLEASE review, and enjoy:D**

"GET UP YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF FILTH!" my father yelled as he banged me to the hardwood floor. I heard a deep 'thud' as my forehead met the cold ground. I moaned in pain, but he wasn't having it.

"HERMIONE! I SAID GET THE HELL UP!" he continued to scream. I could feel the tears brimming beneath my eyelids as I forced my aching body to push itself up. "I'm sorry sir," I sniffled, not daring to make another move.

"Oh, you WILL be sorry! I'll make sure of it!" With that, he kicked me flat in the ribs as I screamed as a result. This had all been continuously happening since before I had been attending Hogwarts. That place was my real home, my only home. It would be tomorrow that I got on train 9 and 3/4 and escaped from this hell I called home. Of course, my mother had no idea what has been going on since I was little. Father usually hurts me where it can't be shown. But I remember on one occasion when he had bruised my arms from gripping them tightly and my mom had noticed.

"Baby, what happened to you?!" she cried, taking my arms into her hands. She looked terrified at how bruised they were.

"It's nothing Mommy," I sighed, holding her face with my cold hands. I couldn't possibly have her worrying about me. She had enough to worry about, and if she ever knew that my dad had done this to me, it just might lead to the same exact thing happening to _her_. I cried just thinking about my sweet, kind mother suffering my same kind of pain. I knew that one thing was for sure: she could and would never ever know.

As reality struck back to me, I realized I was wrestled to the floor as my dad continued to beat me; slapping, punching, and kicking every inch of my body. I was aching in excruciating pain.

"You worthless little pig! You're so stupid; get up this instant!" he further threatened. My sobs were helpless, mournful. I was worthless, I knew it. I felt it in my blood, my veins. I was worth absolutely nothing to everyone. I was, after all, a Mudblood, but this didn't change the fact that I had feelings. As I tried to put these thoughts aside, I felt my jaw dislocate slightly as I felt his knuckles press deeply into my flesh. I felt blood ooze, not only from my face, but the rest of my body as well. 'This is it,' I thought. 'I'm really going to die.' I couldn't move as he wished, my legs would collapse, resembling Jell-O, I just knew it. I had no strength what-so-ever. It was pointless trying to save myself now. No one cared about me, no one except my mother and close friends Harry and Ronald. But it wasn't like they wouldn't simply forget about me once I died. They wouldn't be missing out on anything except a filthy bookworm who's way too smart for anyone's own liking.

As my father repeatedly bruised me, he continued to yell. "I can't WAIT until you go to that shitty school tomorrow! You'll be away from me and your mother! We never really loved you, you piece of dirt! If I see that by tomorrow afternoon you're still here, I swear..." he muttered as he trudged out of my room, leaving me sobbing on the hard floor.

Tomorrow would be the start of my seventh year at Hogwarts; the final year. This made me feel dejected as ever. It only meant that I one more year until I had to return home only to be beaten repeatedly until the end of time. As long as I was in the muggle world, I belonged to my father, as if he owned me. Hogwarts, of course, was my only way out. I've never told anyone about the abuse I've been suffering---no one. And I intended to keep it that way.  
Ever since the very first night that my beatings began, I've kept a journal describing it all. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe just to let all of my emotions out; not that it's helped too much. But I can't seem _not_ to write in it after my abuse, it's like an addiction I've grasped on to.

I still had one problem---I couldn't move from the hardwood floor of my bedroom. I was in too much pain, pain that I couldn't bare. I forced my legs to numb themselves as I slowly rose and collapsed onto my bed that was just a foot away. I rested there for what seemed like hours until I finally had little strength and forced myself to pack a trunk-load of clothes for the long train ride ahead. I could barely wait until I saw Harry and Ron tomorrow. I squealed with excitement just thinking about them. Of course, I wasn't allowed to send letters out to anyone. When Ron and Harry would ask why, I would always just shrug and start a new conversation. I was rather good at that.

Before I knew it, the morning had come, and I only had an ounce of sleep in me; I didn't give a crap. I had told myself that I wasn't coming back home; never. I couldn't. I wouldn't. There was absolutely no way I was going to put up with all of the abuse, and I was sure my father wouldn't care anyways. But my mom...I was worried about leaving her. What if all it did was cause my dad to beat her, too? She was still asleep, so I wrote her a long letter: Dear Mum,  
You know I love you with all of my heart and more. You mean the world to me, Mum, and I love you. I want to thank you for always being there for me in every single way possible. But the whole truth is, I cannot stand life at home anymore. I swear it has nothing to do with either you or father, but I need time to myself. I'm moving out, yes, on my own after Hogwarts. It's not important where I'll be, but I promise to send you mail as often as possible. I've saved up money from over the years, so really, there's absolutely no reason to be worried about your Hermione. I love you so much, Mummy. Never forget that.  
From the daughter who loves you,  
Hermione Granger

I folded it slightly as I placed it next to her pillow. I silently cried as I kissed her cheek and she stirred in her sleep. We really did look alike. I was going to miss her, and I couldn't bear to think about it any longer. I zoomed out the door and ran to the train station.  
-----  
I saw Harry and Ronald standing in line to board the train.

"Harry! Ronald!" I exclaimed, grabbing them both in a bear hug. Ron gave me a confused, yet happy look. I didn't care if it made him feel awkward, I was happy just to see them.

"Hermione!" the squealed back. I was smiling brightly, tears brimming my eyes with tender happiness. They took me into another hug and I welcomed it warmly.

I was barely ever hugged, never by my father anyway. He always just pretended to love me while Mum was around, and of course, she bought every piece of it. It made me want to vomit.

"Wow, you've umm...changed, 'Mione," Ron stuttered. I wondered if he meant that in a bad way when I saw him smile as a result.

"I agree with Ron," Harry said.

"I..I have?" I babbled. "How?" I asked. It was more of a rhetorical question than anything.

"Look at you, Hermione," Ron started, "no more bushy hair to tease, no more round face, no more baby fat." I couldn't help but notice him checking me out as he looked me up and down several times. Smiling, I rolled my eyes. I really had changed this past summer. I was taller, lost all traces of extra pudginess noticable, and my face and body had gotten its womanly structure I had always wanted. I just never really took my changes into account...

I let them walk onto the train before me. I was about to take my first step onto the train when I heard a sneer behind me. Malfoy.

"Out of the way, Mudblood!" he snorted, pushing past me with disgust. I was used to his usual name-calling. It was nothing new. I seemed to get better at ignoring him over the years, but in a way, it always got harder. With the abuse, the worthless feeling just seemed to grow and grow. His "bullying" didn't exactly help my situation.

"Whatever, ferret," I retorted, allowing him to get on. I made my way on, sitting in the compartment with Harry and Ronald.

"What took you so long?" Harry asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Harry, I was only gone for about thirty seconds or so. Just some ferret trouble, that's all," I replied with a disturbed expression.

Of course, they both understood what I meant. No doubt they didn't have trouble with Malfoy in the previous years. All through the ride, the only person I could seem to think about was Mum. Her sweet smile, contagious laugh, beautiful face. I sighed, knowing I was sure to cry sometime soon. It was a somewhat cruel act, leaving her without clear explanation. But I had good reason not to, and I knew it.

I sighed as I leaned my forehead against the cold glass, letting the frigid air numb my head as I drifted into pointless sleep.


	2. Hate Serum

"Hermione, wake up! We're almost there," I heard Harry mutter. Rubbing my eyes, I yawned, pulling on my robes. We were headed out to the boats where we were, at last, taken to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

We entered the enormous castle-like building, memories hitting my brain as hard as jagged rocks. So many different things happened to me at this place, all of them exciting. I was just happy to be alive at this point.

"Please head into the main hall!" I heard Professor McGonagall announce. Making my way with Harry and Ron, we walked into the large corridor and made our seats at our usual tables. We were all Gryffindors of course. I turned around, watching people who passed by. Then, I saw _them_ come in. The utterly repulsive people you call the Slytherins. I turned back to my table, not wanting to have any contact with them. I was sure Malfoy and his crew would be entering any second now…

"How was your summer, Mudblood?" I heard someone taunt behind me. I closed my eyes, figuring the only way to get out of the situation was to simply ignore it.

"Lay off, _Malfoy_," Ron hissed with great disgust. I inwardly smiled to myself. Malfoy seemed to have ignored Ron because the next thing I knew, he was addressing me again.

"I asked you a question, you filth," he muttered. I smiled, not offended at all by his useless words.

"It was great, Malfoy," I answered, turning around to face him. His face had changed---broader, mature-like. His silvery-blonde hair grew just a bit more, a few stray strands hanging on the side of his pale face. "What about yours? Has Daddy given you plenty more trophies that you can show off for playing a pathetic match of Quidditch?" I asked, rolling my eyes. His face turned into an expression of horror. Anyone who talked about Lucius Malfoy on bad terms was bound to be struck by lightning.

"You pathetic little Mudblood," he sneered, bothered by what I had just said. I didn't care. Shrugging, I turned around and continued small conversations with Ron and Harry as Malfoy and his crew walked and sat down at their own table. I couldn't help but notice all of them sitting terribly close, sneering at me from behind. I wanted to stab forks in all of them.

"Welcome students of Hogwarts!" I heard Dumbledore shout. He didn't need his wand to magnify his voice. I heard him make a five-minute introduction. Then, food appeared on the tables, and it was time to dig in.

I was so happy to finally be here. It was all I really wanted, all I was looking forward to during summer. But, no one could ever know why. I stuffed my face full, many delectable flavors exploring my mouth.

"Wow Hermione, at least swallow," Ron bellowed. Looking up with a stuffed face proved his point. I laughed, bits of food escaping my mouth. I was disgusted by my pig-like behavior.

I couldn't help but notice Neville Longbottom staring at me for my morals.

"I'm sorry, Neville," I apologized. "I was just craving a lot of the delicacies here, that's all." I really must have disgusted him.

"No, no! It's…it's not that, Hermione. You umm…" he trailed off, having difficulty speaking. "You just look wonderful, that's all." He looked at the ground, turning red. I, too, blushed scarlet. Neville wasn't exactly the person I wanted to hear this kind of information from, but I still appreciated his kind words.

"Mm, thank you Neville," I said, managing a smile. He smiled back. I hoped he didn't think I had any interest in him.

It was finally time to head to the common rooms. I brushed myself off, walking my way with Harry and Ron. We were told the password to enter the Gryffindor common room and the Fat Lady allowed us in. Without a word, I walked into the girl's side and made my way in. Just as promised every year, my bags were placed by the bed I usually slept in. I grabbed a fresh wardrobe and entered the bathroom.

In the shower, I scrubbed myself clean of all the impurities I had on me. My thoughts drifted towards my father. I shuddered just thinking about him and the hell he forced me to go through nearly my entire life. I wanted to throw up to make the pain go away. I had made myself puke a few times before, after I was beaten, but it wasn't for the usual reason. It was simply because vomiting made me feel better about myself. It was the one thing in my life that I had control over, and doing it felt good.

I decided I wasn't in the mood for tasting vomit tonight, so I went on with the usual routine. After brushing my teeth and changing into my new clothes, I hopped into bed only to find Ginny waiting for me.

"Hermione! How dare you not say 'hi' to me! We are best friends, have you forgotten? And not one mail all summer! Not _one_!" she exclaimed, somewhat furious. I couldn't believe Ginny hadn't even crossed my mind. I was probably so overwhelmed just being here…

"I am terribly sorry, Ginny. I didn't forget about you," I lied. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm just plenty tired, that's all."

Pouting, she pranced over to me, embracing me in a friendly bear hug.

"Don't worry about it, love," she sighed. "How was your summer? You must've been busy…you know, with not mailing me and all."

"Oh yes," I murmured, "very busy." I rolled my eyes. "What about you though, Ginny? You and Ron do anything?" I hadn't even asked them about their vacation, not that I really wanted to. It was the same story with them every bloody year…

"Just the usual, you know," she muttered. "You have no idea how much I've missed Harry, Hermione!" she gasped, almost jumping. Boy, was she head over heels in love with him; not that Harry didn't feel the same way. I pretended to keep listening to her ramble on about unimportant matters. I shuddered.

"Ginny, not that I'm not interested in hearing all about what you have to say," I lied, "But I could really just use some sleep right now. I am completely exhausted. I hope you understand." I chewed my bottom lip, hoping not to get her too angry.

"That's quite all right, love!" she exclaimed. She pecked me on the cheek before hopping into her own bed. As soon as I was sure she fell asleep, I got out my diary and began writing.

_Dear Diary,_

_I don't know what to do anymore._ _The pain I'm dealing with is simply unbearable. Physically and emotionally, I'm screwed. I can't help but think about where I'll end up after Hogwarts because of the fact I won't be returning home to the muggle world where my father had complete control over me. I can't believe I've dealt with the pain for so long---and actually LIVED. Yes, I can't believe I am still alive. Maybe I could move in with Ronald and Ginny or something. I'm pretty sure Molly Weasley wouldn't mind. All I know is that as long as I'm away from my dad, I will survive._

_Hermione Granger._

I slipped my diary into the first drawer of my nightstand as I cried myself to sleep.

-----

It was the next day in Professor Snape's class, and due to my lack of sleep, I was occasionally dozing off now and then. I just hoped Snape wouldn't notice. I instantly regretted thinking about my father just before I went to sleep. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be in this position; tired and out of it.

"Miss Granger!" I heard an angry Snape hiss in front of me. My eyes flashed open as I was faced with humiliation. "Why is miss know-it-all sleeping in my class?"

I blinked. Sure, I was well aware of his dislike towards my knowledgeable behavior, and me myself, but never had I been called a 'know-it-all' by a professor before.

"Excuse me, Professor?" I sneered at him in disgust. He must've ignored what I said because in an instant he was standing next to Malfoy.

"This, Miss Granger," he pointed towards Malfoy's attentive self, "is what I call a good student." I rolled my eyes. There was Malfoy, obviously acknowledging his latest compliment and flaunting it to the world. I wanted to just go up and slap that venomous smirk off his angelic-like face. I took a long look at him, not only staring, but also recognizing his sudden changes. I noticed that his hair finally gained some of its depth, more color. Most of it was slicked back as usual, but now due to its growth, strand hairs strayed in front of his eyes. Beneath his robes, I could make out sleek, strong muscles that wrapped around his arms. I got lost in his fierce, gray eyes when I noticed Snape continued talking to me.

"...Is that understood Miss Granger?" he asked out of the blue.

"I'm sorry, what Professor?" I heard giggles coming from every angle around me. At the corner of my eye, I saw Ginny shoot me an accusing look. I knew that look. She noticed me staring at Malfoy. Boy, was I in for it when she caught up to me later on. I sighed in frustration.

"If you were paying attention Granger, you and the rest of your classmates would have heard that the traditional switching program for the seventh year students will be starting shortly." He eyed the rest of the class trying to catch any sign of an inattentive pupil.

"What exactly is the Switching Program, Professor?" Neville asked.

Snape rolled his eyes at this. "I'm guessing they didn't tell you. For all of the seventh year students, there is an assignment for Potions class that we do every year. It is, as you already know, called the Switching Program. Each of you will be handed a tiny glass jar. You will be asked to remove a speck of your loathing from your brain using your wand. You will then place it in your jar. What that part of your brain will represent is the person you despise most. And I know that all of you do, in fact, loathe at least one person in this school. But, because you may hate more than one person at this time, it will choose the one person you hate most. A drop of this hate serum,"---he lifted it up for show---"will then be put into your jar also. This has been designed to where it can only be someone in this particular Potions class. So, obviously, it can only work will the people already in this room. Here's the exciting, yet disturbing part," he breathed, scanning the room.

"For the rest of this year," he continued, "you will be sharing a room with that other person." There were high-pitched groans from all over the room, mine included. The only person other than my father that I loathed was Malfoy. Sharing a room with him would be...impossible. I shuddered at the thought. No, there was no way in hell I was allowing myself to be confined to a small room with that ferret. I couldn't even be comforted by the fact that perhaps Harry or Ron would be the ones to share space with him because they weren't even in the same Potions class as me and Malfoy. "Shit," I muttered softly.

"What is the damn point of this, Snape?!" Malfoy yelled. He was just as annoyed by the thought as I was. Stupid ferret.

"Watch your tongue, Malfoy," Snape eyed him. "Dumbledore has insisted we do this for the most mature students for bonding purposes. Not only will it be better for your social skills, but you will also learn to get along with those you don't seem to get along with. Trust me, this was not my idea."

Without another word, Snape handed us our supplies and signaled for us to begin. Taking a deep breath, I tried not to think of Malfoy and my disgust towards him. Maybe I could think of someone I actually got along with in this class, so I would get paired with them instead.

"Now," Snape started, "take your wand and withdraw a part of your loathing from your brain as explained. Go."

Before starting, I scanned the room and decided I would think about Neville Longbottom so I could get paired with him for the rest of the year. I would explain the situation to him later, _if_ my plan even happened to work.

I slowly held the wand to my head and thought of Neville as hard as I could. My eyes were clenched together so tightly; I could feel my eye muscles twitching. Taking in a deep, hard breath, I whispered the spell I was told and placed the strand of the loathing into the jar. Now that the tough part was over, I sat back in my seat, relaxing my body. I could feel the bruises my dad gave me, burning in and out of my skin over and over. I could still feel everything he ever did to me, and it stung. Snape swooped to my side, dropping the Hate Serum into my jar and placing the corkscrew on top of it. He stood in the middle of the classroom.

"Look here, children!" he shouted as he held up my jar as an example. "After I have come around and put the drop into your jars, you shall shake it," he explained, shaking my jar himself. "You shall then open up the corkscrew, and out of your jar in bold letters will be the name of the person you shall spend the rest of your seventh year with. I will be coming around now to add the serum."

He walked back to my table, setting down my jar, giving me a long, stern look. I wondered if he knew what my intentions were when I withdrew my 'hate' with my wand. He proceeded by walking to the other pupils. Before opening the jar that awaited the person I would see the most for the rest of the year, I thought very deeply about what I was considering. I was ninety percent sure it would be Neville. I had thought about him so hard, it HAD to be him that I got, instead of the one person I despised more than anyone else in Hogwarts; Malfoy.

I finally gathered up the courage to open the corkscrew. Then, in big bold letters, came a name I did and did not expect at the same time.

_Draco Malfoy._


	3. I'm So Sick

**Mm, yeah, I know. The second chapter, in my opinion, was simply catastrophic. I thought it was actually quite good until I read it over. :/ It was boring to me, but DO NOT WORRY! The upcoming chapters will be exquisite, I promise you. : And, also, if you ever find parts in here that need an 'S' and I've missed it, ignore it. My laptop's S is being stupid, so it really isn't in my control. :[ Please enjoy and review.**

"Bloody hell," I whispered. I felt my palms get sweaty. This couldn't be happening. I turned to see Malfoy's face resemble mine in nothing but shock. He slowly undid his corkscrew, and of course, everyone already knew whose name would come out.  
_  
Hermione Granger.  
_  
"Professor! This is bloody ridiculous!" I muttered, throwing my hands up into thin air.

"Rules are _rules_, Miss Granger," he sneered. I rolled my eyes at him, pouting. I wanted so badly just to die and get my worthless life over with. Pretty much everyone was staring at us by now, and I felt as foolish as I bet I looked.

"Snape, you prune!" Malfoy sneered. "There is no damn way in hell I am going to be locked in a room with a Mudblood!" The disgust was intent on his face. Out of embarrassment and hurt feelings, I was on the verge of crying. 'Suck it up, Hermione,' I thought to myself.

"How dare you talk to a professor that way," Snape said, bug-eyed. "Ten points from Slytherin!"

The day seemed to be a blur as my thoughts kept drifting on and off to how part of my life would be with that disgusting pureblood. I shuddered at the thought.

"Hermione!" Ginny squealed behind me as I walked towards my own room of Gryffindors for the very last time. "We have to talk."

"Is this about being confined to a tiny room with a ferret? Because if it is, I'm not in the mood, Ginny," I said coldly.

"Actually, it's about you luring at him for five whole minutes. Do you have a...a thing for him, 'Mione?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Bloody hell, Ginny!" I bellowed. "I hate that stupid Malfoy! So what if I was..well, staring at him for longer than necessary? He's changed. Nothing wrong with observation and examination, is there?" I tried to slyly slip past her mind with my words. I had failed tremendously.

"Oh, soften up, Hermione!" she exclaimed, annoyed. "You've got to admit, he's gorgeous."

"That doesn't change the fact that he's an asshole," I mumbled, pouncing onto my bed. I took out sweets from my bag, popping the candies into my mouth. It was late, and I wanted to avoid all contact with people.

"Well, I'll see you in the morning." With that, she disappeared into the night as I finished chewing and wrote in my diary.

-----

The next day with Ginny was torture. She wouldn't quit asking me about me liking Malfoy, when in fact, I didn't. Seeing her and Harry cuddle and flirt with each other made me want to vomit then and there. I couldn't take much of their affection any longer.

"Look guys, I'm heading off to the library, then I have Potions. I'll catch up with you guys later," I confirmed, waving. I hardly smiled anymore. I figured it was stupid and senseless smiling when no one notices or even _cares _for that matter. In the library, I headed to the far back, searching for any book to stick my nose into. I felt sick inside, dirty. My bruises refused to fade, and it seemed that the pain that came with them just got more and more unbearable. In the middle of the black night, I found myself moping in pain at random burns he had given me. It left me weak, crying.

As I skimmed the spines of the books, searching for an interesting title or summary, I sensed a presence behind me.

"Trying to further rot your brain, Mudblood?" I turned around to see the one and only Draco Malfoy.

"What the hell, Malfoy?" I raised an eyebrow. "What the bloody hell do you want?"

He casually shrugged. "I just figured I'd get some dirt on you for the last time before we...live together." He said the word 'live' with much distaste, and I flinched at his insensitivity.

"I have feelings, ferret. I may have Muggle parents, but that doesn't make me inhuman!" I sneered, turning back to the books senselessly. He didn't seem to go away.

"So, do you snore?" he asked after a minute. "No," I answered through gritted teeth. I quickly grabbed a book without looking and sat down at the nearest table. He followed and sat down.

"Stop following me."

"I think I'll do whatever the hell I want you stupid piece of---"

"If you came here to insult me, then just LEAVE! Damn it," I swore. Why was I getting so tense? I was always so not bothered by his words.

"What kind of pajamas do you where?" he asked menacingly.

"Why does it matter?" my pupils turned to slits as I looked up from my book to do nothing but glare at him. I had to admit, his beautiful gray eyes were mesmerizing.

"I want to be prepared for what filth I'm going to have to look at."

"You son of a---"

"Granger the know-it-all swears?" he gasped, teasingly. Slapping him wouldn't really leave a mark...

Anger and rage was completely built up inside of me now. It seemed that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get it out of my system.

After I didn't speak, he sighed in annoyance.

"I don't know why you insist on being so completely..." he had trouble finding words. "Weak. Honestly, Mudblood. It's not like you've even gone through anything major. You take things way too seriously. You disgusting piece of shit!"

I couldn't help it now. "YOU PRICK!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, despite the fact I was in a library. I saw a couple people staring. "YOU HAVE NO IDEA IN HELL WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH! HOW DARE YOU JUDGE ME! YOU DON'T KNOW ME, OR ANYTHING ABOUT ME YOU SHITTY FERRET!" I felt a hot liquid running down my cheeks when I noticed I was crying uncontrollably. I started to shake in exhaustion. I always remembered to fully clothe myself everyday. Bruises could be anywhere people looked, and I didn't want to take the chance of anyone finding out. As I yelled and threw my hands into the air, my robe's sleeve ran down to my elbow, and tons of scars were shown. I quickly rose from the table, pulling my sleeves down and exiting the library in endless sobs.

-----

Ron saw me in my condition as I fled the corridors in agony. I was heading to my Potions class. I didn't even want to go. I wish I never went; I wish I never even _existed._

"Hermione! You okay?" Ron rushed over to me, then I saw Harry come, too. Shoot.

"I'm fine!" I shouted, trying to run away. Harry grabbed me by the waist to prevent this.

-----  
_  
Flashback:_

_I was sitting on my bed reading __Twilight__ when my father came in unexpectedly._

_"What are you reading?" he demanded. I started to tremble._

_"I...I..it's just...a fictional bo---"_

_"You know you're not supposed to be reading! I hate books, you know that, you stupid ignorant child!"_

_I ran for the door, grabbing the handle, until his strong fingers dug into my sides, pulling me down as he sat on top of me, beating me unconscious._

_"AND DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT WHAT I SAID, YOU IDIOT!" he screamed as he got off of me, leaving me on the cold floor of my bedroom just like every night._

_-----_

"NO! LET GO OF ME!" I pleaded. "PLEASE! STOP IT!" I was in a panic. I thought it was my father holding me so tightly. I thought he was going to use my sides as a way to pull me down like he always did. That's why I screamed.

"Hermione, what's gotten into you lately?" Harry asked concerned. When he didn't let go, I turned around and punched him red across his jaw. He let go, and that was my escape. Grabbing my backpack, I stormed through the corridors and into Snape's classroom. I took my seat, crying into my hands. I rested my head on the desk as my crying softened into weeps.

Terrifying memories of what my father made me go through continued to run through my mind like a horror movie. I sucked in my tears, attempting to hold back the emotions I was feeling. I sensed someone sitting next to me.

Neville.

I sighed in relief. How would I explain my behavior to Harry and Ron? No doubt that they'll keep questioning me.

"What was all that about, Granger?" a voice sitting next to me asked. It didn't sound like Neville...

"I never thought I'd see the day that Mudblood Granger assaulted little Potty," he taunted. Malfoy. Great.

I wasn't even in the mood to deal with this right now. I wasn't in the mood to feel, to _live_. I couldn't allow him to see my face. I was sure I looked awful; my face blotchy with a red nose and puffy cheeks.

Sighing, I continued to lay my head on the cold desk that was now turning hot due to my face touching it. There was no way in hell I was going to let anyone---not even Malfoy---get to me like that again.

He leaned over me and whispered, "What exactly were you referring to in the library, Granger?"

I finally gathered the courage to face him, rubbing my tears away. I gave him a somewhat confident look. "Just forget about what I said, okay?" Two minutes of silence passed.

"I saw the bruises," he whispered. I expected to see an insenstitive smirk forming on his face, but to my surprise, it was serious. I could have sworn I saw a look of concern. 'No,' I thought. 'I must be dreaming.'

"That's none of your business, Malfoy," I demanded, staring at my hands in anxiety. I couldn't believe this crap was happening to me.

It was then that Snape went to the front of the classroom. "I have just been informed that your rooms have been made up. Clothing, beds, and all. I will tell you and your partner your room number and because this is the last class of the day for you, you will be able to spend the rest of this period in your room with your partner.

"Just great," I muttered. I didn't expect anyone to hear.

"You think I'm thrilled about this, Granger?" Malfoy asked. I ignored the prick.

We were told our room number, and without a word, we walked our way there. It was an average size room; nothing too special. It had two beds facing the same direction with only a nightstand separating them.

"I get the bed by the windows. That's final," he demanded. I rolled my eyes; stupid ferret.

"I'm going to take a shower," I said, walking into the bathroom with my pajamas. As I undressed, I couldn't help but notice all the scars that covered my body. Every inch was bruised in black and purple. It looked sickening. I had never paid attention to mirror much because of it, but now that I did, I instantly regretted it. I stepped in the shower, attempting to forget everything. To forget life in itself. It sucked so far.

I got out of the shower, removing a blade from one of my razors. Quickly and effortlessly, I made two slits on each of my wrists. I sighed, letting the blood ooze from my arms and flow gracefully into the white sink. The contrast in the two colors was beautiful; crimson against white. After a few minutes, I cleaned up the blood, and it stopped running from my arms. I felt a whole lot better now.

After cleaning, brushing my teeth, and applying fresh clothes to my body, I finally stepped out of the bathroom to meet an angry Malfoy.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG, MUDBLOOD?! YOU WERE IN THERE FOR NEARLY TWO HOURS!" I jumped at his temper. I realized he wasn't wearing his uniform anymore, but khaki shorts and a plain white tee shirt. I noticed a silver chain that clung from his neck.

"Sorry," I muttered, pouncing onto my bed. I didn't really mean it. I was just sick and tired of his pathetic complaints and I wanted him to shut the hell up.

"Whatever." He hurried into the bathroom as I fell asleep to the sound of running water.

-----

"Wake up, Mudblood, we're going to be late for class!" Malfoy hissed. My eyes shot open and there he was in his pajamas, scurrying to put on his robes. After I was ready, I took off to class without Malfoy. He, however, noticed this and quickly caught up to me.

"Now, that's not very kind of you, Mudblood. Leaving your worst enemy like that."

I glared at him. "As if you care. You don't enjoy my company, anyways!"

He continued walking with me, leaving me somewhat annoyed. Why couldn't he just leave me alone?

"Why are you walking with me? Wouldn't you rather prefer not to be seen with a Mudblood?" I sneered.

He shrugged casually, "All you are is a worthless fool."

I turned away from him, holding back the tears. That was exactly what my father had said to me. Two tears escaped my eyes as my voice cracked, "I know."

After a few minutes, I wiped the two tears away and turned around, walking to class.

"Why the bloody hell---"

"It's nothing," I interrupted. "You weren't supposed to hear."

"Why are you bloody crying, Granger?" he asked, putting on an annoyed look.

"I'm not crying, damn it!"

"That's pathetic." He lifted up my chin. "See?" he pointed to my somewhat wet cheeks. "I see little tears here and there. Now, tell me, why are you crying?" I pushed his hand off of me and continued walking. He didn't keep his eyes off me, so I decided to tell him the truth. Looking straight ahead while walking, I whispered, "You called me worthless."

He raised his eyebrows. "Don't I always call you that?"

"No, not always. And it...it just..." I blabbered. "Ugh, nevermind. You'd never understand!"

The rest of the day went the same way. He tried to get answers out of me, and I told him to bugger off.

"Look, why the hell are you suddenly so interested?" I asked, careful not to throw my hands up in the air again.

"I'm a man who wants his answers, damn it. You really do blow things out of proportion, Granger. You need to calm down or something."

I walked away from him, going into a senseless direction. Then, I saw Harry and Ron coming towards me.

"No, no, no, no, no," I mumbled over and over. I was frozen in my tracks; my feet wouldn't budge an inch from where I was standing on the grass.

"Hermione!" Ron gasped, running towards me, but carefully; caution filled his eyes as he approached me.

"H..Hi Ronald," I stammered. I felt something wet on my arms, but ignored it.

"What umm...what happened back there, 'Mione?" he asked, rubbing the back of his head.

"Look, Ron," I started. I saw Harry keeping his distant, his jaw a slight purple color. Guilt washed over me. "Tell Harry I'm very sorry for what happened. Really, I don't know what the bloody hell I was thinking." With that, I walked to the girls' bathroom to figure out why my arms felt so completely wet.

Standing in front of the mirror, I took a deep breath, slowly pulling up my sleeves. Sure enough, there was blood coming from both of them. "Shit," I muttered. A few of the scars opened, and the cuts from last night opened as well. I was in trouble if I couldn't get the blood to stop flowing.

-----

_  
I will break into your thoughts  
With what's written on my heart  
I will break, break_

_I'm so sick,  
Infected with where I live  
Let me live without this  
Empty bliss,  
Selfishness  
I'm so sick  
I'm so sick_

_If you want more of this  
We can push out, sell out, die out  
So you'll shut up  
And stay sleeping  
With my screaming in your itching ears_

_I'm so sick,  
Infected with where I live  
Let me live without this  
Empty bliss,  
Selfishness  
I'm so sick  
I'm so sick_

_Hear it, I'm screaming it  
You're heeding to it now_

_Hear it! I'm screaming it!  
You tremble at this sound_

_You sink into my clothes  
And this invasion  
Makes me feel  
Worthless, hopeless, sick_

_I'm so sick,  
Infected with where I live  
Let me live without this  
Empty bliss,  
Selfishness  
I'm so sick  
I'm so sick_

_I'm so sick  
Infected with where I live  
Let me live without this  
Empty bliss, selfishness  
I'm so  
I'm so sick  
I'm so  
I'm so sick_

-----

I continued to scrub away at the open wounds that were embedded deep benath my skin. I was a worthless wreck. Pointless.

"Oh my God..." I heard someone breathe behind me. Without thinking, I covered up my almost-healed arms and turned around to see Draco Malfoy.

"What the hell are you doing in the girls' bathroom Malfoy?!" I bellowed, grabbing my bag, walking past him. He caught me by the arm, turning me around, forcing me to face him.

"Why do you do that?" he asked, whispering. He looked like he was about to cry.

"I don't know! I just...It doesn't matter!" I cried. "Let go of me!"

"GRANGER! Why do you hurt yourself?!" Before I could answer, he grabbed my wrists, pulling down my sleeves, revealing the monster inside of me.

"Oh my..." he gasped, shocked at all of the cuts and scabs. "Did someone do this to you?" He pointed to the bruises.

"NO!" I shouted. "No one did anything to me, Malfoy! Leave me the hell alone, please!" With that, I ran out of the bathroom when I remembered something: my diary. Where had it gone? Did the transferrers forget to place it in my new room that I shared with Malfoy? Did they read it? "Oh my God," I breathed. I ran as fast as I could to the new room I shared, I searched through my completely empty suitcase, then Malfoy's. I searched under both beds, in the bathroom's cabinets and drawers; nothing. I then remembered: the nightstand. I scurried through the top drawer, and just as I thought, there it was. I sighed with relief when I sensed Malfoy coming in. My diary was clenched in my hands, but by the time I decided to hide it, Malfoy was already walking towards me.

"Granger, tell me what's going on," he demanded. I sneered at him.

"Why the hell do you frickin care? Please, ferret, just leave me alone. I don't need this right now." He noticed my diary I was holding.

"What's that?" he asked.

"None of your bloody business," I snapped. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going over to Ginny's room." When I saw him turn around, I stuffed the diary soundlessly under my bed. I dusted myself off, leaving the room and off to Ginny's.

I knocked on the door, and sure enough, there was Ginny.

"You okay, Hermione? You look exhausted..."

"I'm fine!" I roared, then instantly regretted it. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Ginny. I've just...I've been having a terrible time, that's all. You know, Malfoy."

She rolled her eyes in disagreement. "Hon, at least you don't have stupid ol' Colin Creevy! The boy doesn't shut up!" I forcefully smiled up at her attempt to make me happy.

"Hermione?" She took my hands into her own. "Are you all right? Ron explained to me what happened with Harry...and well...are you feeling okay? If you ever need a friend to come to, 'Mione, I am ALWAYS here for you." With that, she gave me a hug, and I cried into her shoulder for hours without looking up.

I didn't come back to my own room until late. I walked into the room and almost died at what I saw. Malfoy; he was reading my diary.

-----  
**  
The song is I'm So Sick by Flyleaf. Listen to it. It's really good. REVIEW!**


	4. Weak

**I love this chapter. Please read and FRICKIN REVIEW! The more you review, the faster I'll write. I've actually been done with this chapter, but I couldn't post it because I was out of state. Trust me, I worked hard on my writing. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. : Please enjoy. **

-----

I couldn't move. My body tensed and my lips froze in horror.

"Oh my bloody God!" I shouted, running over to Malfoy, trying to snatch the diary out of his hands. He moved it away before I could.

"I knew something was wrong with you, Granger!" he exclaimed, keeping the diary out of reach. I slapped him across the face.

"Malfoy! Give me that RIGHT NOW!" I threatened. Without much effort, he held both of my arms in his hands, leaving my diary to the side.

Terror flooded through me, and I wondered how much he must've read.

"I read just about all of it," he answered to my thoughts. "Now, sit over there," he ordered, pointing to the bed. I sneered in disapproval.

"I don't have to listen to you. Please! Give it to me! Give it back!" Without saying anything, he took out the diary and began reading random entries.

_"Dear Diary,_

Daddy hit me for the millionth time today. It was unexpected. I am terrified.

Dear Diary,

It's been three months, and the bruises are becoming very prominent on my back and legs. I am crying constantly. I have no idea what to do. I feel so alone.

Dear Diary,

The beatings have been going on for what seems like forever now. I've gone through all my previous diaries, and all I see written in them is how I've been brutally beaten that night. I feel alone and afraid. I have refused to eat. I am ugly. I am stupid. I am torn. I need to go away.

Dear Diary,

I cut myself for the first time today. It made me feel a hundred times better about myself. I've continued to starve myself, and when I do eat, I'm always throwing it up. I weighed myself, and I have lost over fifteen pounds. I have to wear baggy clothes now, because I don't want Mum worrying about my weight. I don't want her worrying about her pathetic daughter named Hermione. I am nothing but a worthless bitch, or so Daddy tells me. I know he's right. He was always right about me. I'm a bitch who needs a stupid life. I hope I die. I can't take much of this pain anymore. Someone take me away. Someone murder me.

Dear Diary,

I was going to take the pills today. I was going to overdose on them. But then, Mummy came and I had to stop myself. She asked me what was wrong with me. I knew it; she thinks I'm a freak just like everyone else does. I'm nothing but a stupid slutty Mudblooded moron. Mum doesn't know about any of my pain. She will never know. I can't have that happen to her. I've hurt her enough.

Dear Diary,

Daddy hates me now. He beats me every night. I felt my ribs crack into tiny pieces underneath my skin. He continues to hurt me every night. He threatens me, telling me that if I ever tell anyone about him beating me, he'll kill me with his bare hands. I think I'd rather die than stay alive...

Dear Diary,

Save me, please?"  
  
Malfoy finished reading part of my diary, looking up at me with his piercing gray eyes. I was already crying. I couldn't believe Malfoy had just found out about my secrets. I was doomed. I already knew what I was in for.

"You're going to tell everyone," I whispered in defeat. "You stupid manwhore, you." Now, I knew my life was over. Malfoy would joke about it to everyone, and I would be taunted my entire life.

"Granger..." he drifted.

"No!" I murmured. "This wasn't supposed to happen!" My eyes were closed. All I wanted was to disappear. My eyes fluttered open, and he was still staring at me, not aiming to touch me anymore.

"Don't tell anyone. DON'T! I...I'll be finished off if anyone ever knew. No one was supposed to find out. Ugh, you stupid, snooping, canniving little cockroach." The tears refused to stop flowing. I hated him. The stupid pureblood. Curse him. Curse him to hell.

"I'm not going to bloody tell anyone!" he confirmed. I couldn't believe my ears.

"What are you playing at, Malfoy?" I accused. "First, you call me by my first name, and now you act as if you care." I wiped my face with the back of my hands. "Just leave me alone." I walked into the bathroom and threw up into the toilet. I cleaned up my face and rinsed out my mouth. I was about to cut when the door flew open.

"SHIT!" Malfoy lunged at me, throwing me to the floor. He grabbed the razor blade from my hands, and removed the rest of them from the cabinet. "Listen!" he grabbed my chin firmly.

"Let go of me! You better listen!" I demanded.

"No, Mudblood! _You_ listen to _me_. You need to stop doing this to yourself. STOP!"

I stopped struggling against him. He was on top of me, and there was nothing I could do. He finally got off of me when I stopped fighting back. He offered me a hand, but I didn't take it. "I can take care of myself you prick," I glared at him.

I rushed past him and sunk into my bed, closing my eyes. I felt him touch my shoulder. My eyes opened instantly. "Stop touching me," I glared menacingly, a dark look showering my features.

"Look..." he said sternly. "I'm sorry about what happened to you. I really am I---"

"Oh, Malfoy!" I glared. "Just shut up! You aren't sorry! You don't even have feeling inside of you! Stop pretending like you care! You don't. You said yourself: I'm a worthless Mudblooded fool! Why can't you just leave me alone? I just want to be alone, I don't want to deal with anyone anymore. I want to _die_."

His face twisted into a look of horror as he lifted me off the bed and brought me to my feet. He then pinned me against the wall, his hands trapped on either side of my head. "Listen, _Granger_. You need _help_! You're in terrible shape as it is."

"I can take care of myself, _Malfoy_," I convinced. "I'm fine. I don't need anyone taking care of me. I can take care of _myself_."

"Quit lying to yourself," he breathed. I could feel his breath on my neck as he spoke. "You do need help, Granger. Stop hurting yourself for what you have no control over. Just _stop_."

"You can't control me," I whispered. "And if you keep saying the same ol' crap to me over and over, I'll punch you square in the face!" Instead of putting on a look of hate, I put on a look of pleadedness. He was right, about everything. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

I began to cry again. "Shit, I always cry! I hate it!" I muttered. He lifted up his thumb to push away the tears.

"There's nothing wrong with crying," he stated.

"It makes me feel so...so..._weak_," I admitted. I mentally slapped myself for being more open with him than I should.

"No it doesn't," he confirmed. "Sometimes, that's just the only way to get rid of the pain; to cry." He examined the collar of my shirt and partly pulled it down, revealing a very prominent collar bone.

He put his head down in shame. "Granger. Granger. Granger. Let me see your waist."

I looked up at him with a confused expression. "What?"

"Just trust me. Do it."

I laughed evilly. "I'll _never_ trust you."

With a sigh, I lifted up my shirt to my belly button, which showed a very flat, very unfed stomach. "You're starving yourself, aren't you?" he accused, his eyes hard and serious.

"That's none of your damn business!" I babbled.

"Come on," he said, grabbing my hand.

"Where are you bloody taking me, Malfoy?" I demanded.

"The Main Hall. Dinner's just about starting now. You are _eating_." I wanted to kill him. 'Yeah right. No way in hell I'm eating because that stupid ferret's telling me to.'

"But you can't make me." He gave me a questioning look. "We sit at separate tables and are hate each other. At least, _I_ hate _you_. There's no way you're getting food down this mouth. Even if you did, I would just---" I stopped when I saw the look he was giving me. Fierce, almost scary. I was in fear myself.

"You are going to eat whether you like it or not, Granger."

"Damn you." Fine. I would eat now, throw up later. He didn't have to know about it. "Now, you go in first, and sit by Weaselbee. I'll come in shortly after," he whispered in my ear. "Now go." The sincerity in his voice once again left me fearful. I shuddered as I walked in to sit next to Ronald.

Without a word, I took a piece of roast chicken and mashed potatoes. I saw Malfoy enter, and when he saw me take a big bite, he smiled. I rolled my eyes at his fake behavior. What a stupid, uncaring human being. I went back to my food, gobbling it down. I never realized how truly hungry I was all this time. I stuffed myself full, taking many sips of water.

"Hey Hermione," both Ron and Neville greeted me. I looked over to see that the bruise I gave Harry from punching him was still there. The guilt was still in the pit of my stomach.

"Hey guys," I answered back. "Uhh, Harry?" I asked. He looked up at me. "I'm..I'm real sorry about that."

"Nah, don't give it a second thought, Herms." I cringed at what he just called me. I hated that nickname. It reminded me of hermit crabs. Ew.

"Thanks," I smiled hopefully.

"You know, Hermione," Ginny started talking, "you're hardly ever here."

"I eat in my room," I lied. I was sick of keeping my secrets from everyone I cared so deeply about. I was getting annoyed of sitting with people who didn't understand me, so I got up, excusing myself.

"I'm going to my room. Bye guys."

I left the Main Hall, walking through random hallways. I didn't really care about where I was headed for; I just wanted to get away somewhere. I felt somewhere pat me on my back; I didn't have to guess who it was.

"Um, hi Malfoy," I said shyly.

He smiled down at me. "You ate." He never smiled at me, not ever. He must be cast under a kind spell or something...

I rolled my eyes, smiling. "Yeah. It's something I'm starting to enjoy now and then."

"And don't you dare think about throwing it up, or doing something disgusting as that." He raised his eyebrows at me.

"So, how long are you going to keep up this whole ordering-me-around thing?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Do me two favors Granger," he suggested. I waited for him to continue. "Number one: eat. Number two: Call me Draco. Not Malfoy."

My eyebrows knit into an expression of confusion. "There's nothing wrong with the fact that I call you Malfoy. You call me Granger. Bloody hell, why am I still talking to your arse?"

He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Ugh. It's just more respectful..."

"Woah woah woah," I said, holding my hands up. "What makes you think I have respect for you?"

He shrugged. "I just did you a favor by making you chow down something. Trust me, you really shouldn't starve yourself."

"It's not that big a deal."

He stopped in his tracks to stare long and hard at me. "My cousin died from starvation, Hermione. She was stuck in the wilderness, and no food was around. They found her body soon after. She was nothing but bones and thin skin." My face turned into a mask of horror. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I-I'm sorry..." He just shook his head.

"'Kay," I sighed. "Well, I'm going to bed. So don't make noise when you come in," I warned. He rolled his eyes again.

"I'll just come with you, Granger."

"I'd rather you not," I confessed angrily. "But whatever." Without a word, he followed me into the room. I didn't bother to take a shower or brush my teeth. While Malfoy was in the shower, I changed into my pajamas, plopping onto my comfy bed.


	5. You're Welcome, Hermione

**YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME FEEL SO BLOODY GUILTY!  
dfhksdjffgslghwjkh!!!  
Just when I, Kiyah, decided that I would NOT update until I finished reading ALL the Harry Potter books before the 7th came out, I just HAD to get sweet little reviews telling me to "please update soon."  
Man, I sure am a softy!  
I just HAD to oblige myself to update, even though I told myself I wouldn't  
until I finished reading the series. :P But, still, thanks to everyone who actually  
took their time to review.**

Oh yeah, and I saw Harry Potter 5 in theatres.  
It was pretty good. Very well choreographed, I must say.  
But, I still think the 4th movie was better. Just my opinion.  
Hmm, and I cried way too much. Merlin, I miss Cedric:[  
But, then again, crying is fun.  
:

**But, anyways! I only got about 3 or 4 reviews for the previous chapter. That's just pathetic. Come on people! review! I'm getting lots of emails about how my FF is being 'favorited' and on the list for an 'alert'. :D:D It boosts my happiness. yay! My 'S' button is still being a piece of arse. :X Keep reviewing! 3**

**-----**

Neville Longbottom was the first person I saw when out in the halls Saturday morning. Of course, Malfoy slept in. What a lazy coward.

"Hey, Neville," I said.

"Hey Hermione. Can you believe I'm actually up early on Saturday?" he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Just couldn't sleep I guess." He shrugged. "So, why are you up early?" We began walking together in the long never-ending corridors.

I didn't really have an answer to his question, so I shrugged. "Um, I guess I just couldn't sleep."

"You know," he began, "we haven't really been able to hang out in what seems like forever, Hermione. I miss hanging out with you." He blushed.

I managed a smile. "I'm sorry, Neville. I guess...I guess I've just been busy with things. But, I promise, we'll hang out a lot now, okay?"

Now he smiled. "Thanks, 'Mione." We spent the whole Saturday just catching up, talking to each other. Rumors that have been going around that I, obviously, had no bloody idea about.

"The beginning of this year has gone so fast it seems like," he stated sadly. I pouted. "When you think about it, Christmas holiday isn't that far away. The wind has already increased its speed and the warmth is slowly slipping away. That's how I always know when time is going too fast."

"This year has just been...chaotic so far...I guess." I shrugged it off. We were now sitting beneath an Oak tree, both resting against its trunk. I had no idea the weather was going to be so brisk, cold, so I hadn't bothered to bring a sweater. I shivered, displeased.

"Why didn't you bring a jacket?" he asked. Without another word, he took his off and handed it to me. "Th-thanks," I chattered. He chuckled. I noticed how much weight he'd lost throughout the years. Wow.

"So...have you noticed?" he asked.

"Noticed what?"

"All the new guys that came this year...to Hogwarts. Honestly, the only thing I ever hear girls talking about are all the 'hot new guys this year'" he quoted, annoyed. I giggled.

"Ah, I guess I've just been so...out of it." I stared at the grass, ashamed. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about, Hermione," he assured, smiling that heart-warming smile. He could always make me smile because I wanted to. That was Neville for you.

"Hm, let's go inside," I suggested. We walked into the tower, warmth welcoming us. I heard my stomach growl repeatedly.

"Hah. I forgot...I skipped breakfast."

"You _forgot_? How do you just forget that you missed a meal?" He raised an eyebrow. I smirked.

"Just me, I guess."

We entered the Great Hall for dinner, sitting next to each other as I greeted everyone.

"Hey guys!" I chirped.

"Hey Hermione," Harry said. "Haven't seen you all day. Where have you been?"

"Oh. Neville and I have just been roaming around all day, practically. You know, catching up." I saw a few eyes look mysteriously my way. What the hell?

"Um, Hermione," Ginny said. "May we have a word please? In private?" she asked.

"Mm, sure," I answered. She dragged me out of the hall, eying me just like before.

"Do you...have a...a thing for Neville?" she smirked. I frowned.

"What?! God, seriously, Ginny! I spend more than five minutes with a guy and next thing I know, you're all on my case! I mean seriously, don't you have anything better to do than...accuse me of liking people I don't like?"

"But!" she squealed. "It just sort of...seemed obvious in a way, Hermione. I mean, come on, you were totally happy when you came in. I haven't seen you smile like that in a while." She raised a red eyebrow at me.

"Ginny, Neville is a great person. I respect him greatly. When I talk to him, I don't hold back. I don't know _why_, but that's just the way it is. That doesn't mean I have a...a thing for Neville!"

She shrugged. "Whatever you say. So, you don't like him then?"

"No."

"Well...then I guess you should know..." she drifted.

"Know what?"

"Well, maybe I should just beat around the bush.."

"Ginny, what in bloody merlin are you talking about?" I crossed my arms.

She rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Don't you get it, Hermione?! Damn it. He loves you! He's so crazy about you. How blind can you possibly get?"

My eyes widened with unbelievable shock. "What? No, Neville does _not_ like me in that way. We're just friends. Friends!"

She put her hands on her hips. "Ever since fourth year, Hermione," she whispered. "Ever since the Yule Ball..." she sighed. "It was so bloody annoying. He wouldn't stop babbling about how great you looked. He was so jealous because you were with Crum, and not him. And I was his date! I had to put up with it for hours! Wake up, Hermione! He's crazy about you."

I couldn't speak. "Who...who would like me? I mean, look at me Ginny! I'm ugly, worthless! I...I can't imagine how someone with such a good heart as Neville's would...like someone like _me_." My vision started to blur, and my legs felt fairly weak. We should have had this conversation _after_ I ate.

"Hermione? Hermione, you okay?" she asked over and over. I would've answered, but I couldn't find my lips.

Just then, I heard someone rush out the door. "What happened to her?" Neville asked, panicked.

By now, Ginny was supporting all of my weight with her arms. How did she do it?

"Wait here," Neville commanded Ginny. While he was gone, she struggled. I tried to push myself up, but i couldn't see anything. I was too hungry to function.

"Come on, Hermione!" she squealed, out of breath. Poor girl.

Neville rushed back out. "Open up, Hermione." I couldn't open. I didn't know how. "Open!"

With all of my strength, I forced my mouth ajar as Neville gently put little bits and pieces of bread into my mouth. It tasted so good. Garlic and butter, yum. "Here," he said, "I'll hold you, you feed her."

I slid into Neville's arms as Ginny fed me like a little child. I finally gained some of my strength back. My eyes opened, and Neville was smiling down at me.

"You okay?" he asked, still smiling warmly. I smiled back weakly.

"I believe so. Sorry, I really should have eaten something." I glided onto the hard ground, making my way to the Great Hall, stumbling here and there.

He laughed. "Let me help you, there," he offered. His right arm was firmly planted around my waist, holding me up. I heard Ginny smirk behind me, stifling back a roar of laughter. I knew exactly what she was thinking. He carried---practically dragged---me into the Great Hall, with everyone's feasty eyes buried on us. I felt my eyes roll in annoyance. Then I noticed Neville with a triumphant look on his face, as if he were saying 'yes, I have her as my own. I'm actually holding her.' I wanted to punch something.

He sat me down next to him with everyone's eyes on us. "Thanks, Neville." We ate, and I became bored, though I felt myself getting stronger and stronger. I already knew that people were thinking I had something for him. I caught Ginny looking at me and mouthed, "thanks a lot!" She hung her head in shame, but was giggling to herself instead.

"Yeah, well...I'm leaving." Without another word, I made my way down the long hallway and into the cold corridor. I walked very slow, not bothering to go to my room for rest anymore. I didn't really know what to do with myself, and earlier I had told myself I was going to stop starving. I didn't enjoy doing it anymore.

I figured I'd stroll down the lake to catch some brisk, fresh air again. Who cared about what people thought? I don't just crush on people because they help me eat...

I sat down on the frost-covered grass, admiring the lake's dead look. As unfierce as it seemed, it was actually quite an admirable sight.

"Some performance out there, I'd say, eh?" someone came behind me. I closed my eyes, listening to the wind.

"Everyone's talkin' about it. I suppose he'll have to propose to you next."

"Well," I said, "you can tell them that Neville and I aren't getting married, Malfoy." I was proud of myself for staying to calm, uncaring. 

"I guess I could do that," he coughed, sitting a few feet away from me. I didn't bother to question myself on why he was even here.

"I'm guessing you didn't notice the look on little Weaselbee's face then? Jealous as the rat that he is---"

"Ron isn't a rat, Malfoy. He's my best friend...and I'd appreciate if you'd keep your shrewd comments to yourself. I'm not in the mood to listen to them. Not now, and not ever." I continued staring at the black lake as various leaves swirled around us, dancing in patterns.

"So...what happened outside the Great Hall? Many rumors were being said. Some of them...well, not so pleasant." Disgust was planted firmly on his twisted face. I had to laugh.

"How ridiculous!" I rubbed my hands together, trying to bring heat into them. "Nothing _happened_. I simply passed out and Ginny and Neville happened to be there. That's_ it_. Hah, what rubbish."

He seemed a bit embarrassed about how wrong he was. "Hmm. You're shivering," he observed.

"No," I stated firmly. "I'll be fine. Honestly, Malfoy. I'm not a child you're obliged to take care of. I'm fine," I snapped necessarily. He held up both hands. "Fine, fine. _Merlin!_ No need to be all Dark Lordish about it." I rolled my eyes at him, still shivering, but hiding it. After a few minutes, he still wouldn't leave, and I wasn't getting any warmer.

"I think I'll just...go inside."

"Let me come."

"Fine," I muttered through gritted teeth. As soon as we got into the warm, cozy room, I instantly collapsed onto my comfy bed, already falling asleep. I hadn't felt so good and full in a long time. I felt like I was in a deep trance until I heard Malfoy's rough voice talking.

"Aren't you going to change, Granger? You're in jeans. Quite uncomfortable, don't you think?"

I was too tired to answer. "Nuuhhh," I murmured, half-asleep.

"It'll be kind of hard, though," he said. "You know, sleeping in that enormous hoodie that you're wearing."

"I guess," I squeaked. I was so tired, it was unbelievable. But, he was right. I could barely move under the covers with the huge thing I was wearing. I would need help getting it off. I didn't bother asking. How embarrassing...

"Hmm," he grunted. "Let me help you, then." What the bloody...?

"Ugh, that's okay. I'll manage," I moaned, my voice muffled by my pillow.

"Nope. You need it off. Because if I have to wake up in the middle of the bloody night to hear nothing but your complaints about how you can't move---"

"_Fine_."

He walked over to me, lifting me up off the pillow by my forearms. "Okay, lift your arms up," he instructed. I did as I was told, my eyes closed through the whole thing.

All I felt then was the thick, hot fabric rubbing gracefully against my face, and off of me. I suddenly felt a lot cooler, more comfortable, now that I had just a tee shirt on.

"There," he stated, happy with himself. I still couldn't open my droopy, displeased eyes. I seemed to have fallen half asleep in a sitting position. With a chuckle, he gently pushed my shoulders down, my head resting on the pillow. He got into bed, turning the light off until it was pitch black. I forgot one thing.

"Thansss," I mumble, falling back into the trance.

A few minutes passed until I swore I heard him whisper, "You're welcome, Hermione." 


	6. The Boy Who Has Feeling

**Two chapters in just a day! Yayayayayy!**

**I have a feeling I'm honestly, really, really, really going to LOVE the upcoming events of the rest of the chapters.**

I don't even know how it happened.  
I'm staring at the computer screen talking  
to Elaine, and next thing I know, sooooo  
many different ideas plunge through my head.  
I cannot even believe it.  
I think I'm going to like what I've come up with:D:D:D  
READREADREADREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW!

Oh, and btw, if you were wondering; Elaine's profile  
is elainepseudo; her story is called Snow White Skin.  
:D  
Please review!

-----

Sunday was a bunch of a jumbled mess. It seemed that ever since yesterday at dinner, people were cramming me, following me everywhere; annoying me. Not that I didn't enjoy company...oh, who am I kidding? I hate random people.

"Guys!" I told them. "Don't listen to these rumors you're hearing about. No, Neville and I aren't dating," I stated firmly, calmly. If he were around, I was sure he would burst into tears. I had to check and make sure he was no where to be found. "Please."

I was walking---more like running---around different corridors until I saw Ron coming towards me.

"Hermione!" he shouted to get my attention.

"Hey, Ronald," I smiled. Finally, someone I knew. He ran up to me and gave me a massive bear hug. I smiled. Ron was the best friend I had ever had.

"Hey. Look," he said as he took my shoulders and fiercely looked into my eyes. "I know that...that you've been rather unhappy lately, Hermione." He looked sad. Guilt was taking over at this point. I had worried him all this time, but I just never knew. "If you _ever_...and I mean _ever _need someone to talk to, you can ALWAYS come to me." He looked deep into my musty eyes. I was sure my frightened look gave away the monster I was; the hurt, abused part of my life I was feeling. "Okay, love?"

I nodded, smiling up at him; admiring him. What a lucky person I was to have an innocent boy like Ronald in my life. "That goes for you, too, Ron," I said, smiling. I didn't expect him to blush uncontrollably. After a while, though, he smiled back; the warmest of all smiles I had ever seen.

"Eh, I think I'm fine so far, 'Mione," he murmured softly as we kept walking around the towers. I was starting to get curious...

"Uh, where's Harry?" I asked.

"Quidditch practice. That's the only place he ever is when he's free. You know, with it being Quidditch season an' all." I nodded in understanding.

"I'm guessing you don't get to spend much time with him then?"

"Hardly ever anymore."

"That's a shame," I muttered, looking at the ground as we walked.

"Hah, don't be so hard on yourself, Hermione. It's not your fault he's a good player and---"

"I wasn't exactly referring to that, Ron." He gave me a very confused look. "I am never around anymore. Ever, Ron. I'm going insane is what it is. I can't even keep up with my best friends; Merlin, I didn't even know Harry was at practice!" I held myself together by wrapping my arms around my stomach. "What a terrible friend I've come out to be," I whispered.

"Bad friend? Hermione, all you've ever done is been a good friend to me. You always know how to cheer me up. Always. There's no doubting it. You're the first person I'd come to if I had any problems..."

"Harry?"

"Harry...he's not so much the comforting type, if you know what I mean. He gives good advice, but only physically. Mentally, it doesn't do much good. I supposed it's because you're a girl...you just have the instinct of what to say and when."

I giggled darkly. "I wish." A few minutes passed, and I couldn't think of a thing to say that wouldn't be awkward.

"Want to play chess?" he offered. I was always terrible at it. Why not start now?

"Sure," I shrugged. We entered the great Hall which was surrounded by people and what they did in their free time. Ron set up the board game.

"Now," he started. "The first thing you need to know about Wizard's Chess, is that the white piece always goes first." I nodded. That was simple enough. He continued on with the details of how to play, who was who, which piece was in charge of what, the powers, etc. It was somewhat confusing. Whenever it was my turn, he'd have to tell me where to go so that in the end, I won on purpose. I laughed at myself.

"I always knew you weren't good at chess, Hermione...but I had no idea..." Ron laughed. He looked as if he were going to roll on the floor.

"Hah, I know, I know." We gathered up the board game, slipping out of the Great Hall. It was my turn to choose what to do.

"Hmm. How about...the library?" I could tell by the look on his face that it was at the bottom of his list of priorities. Despite that, he smiled sweetly and agreed to go.

I grabbed a book I was instantly interested in as we sat down and I couldn't keep my nose out of it.

"Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

"What makes you love books so much?" he asked. I stopped reading. The answer was something I was sure he wouldn't have expected.

"It...it helps deal with pain," I whispered. I was almost sure he couldn't hear me when he put my book down, forcing me to look at him.

"You can tell me," he murmured so softly. I felt my tongue go dry, my throat swell up. I didn't know what to do at this point.

I continued to stare down at my book that was now lying open on the table. I didn't want to have this conversation with a person I cared about too much to hurt. It would scar him to know what a miserable freak he was best friends with.

I finally managed to get something out. "I-I can't."

"Yes, you can, Hermione. Really..." No! I didn't want him to know about my terrible life. I had to get out; I had to escape...

Next thing I knew, I was bolting through the library doors, but tripping when I got out. I scraped my knees and both hands, almost-visible blood about to pour. "Ugh," I winced. I quickly got up and continued to run. That's when Ron ran after me.

"HERMIONE!" he shouted. He probably thought that if I heard him, I would stop and be truthful with him. No. That was never going to happen. I looked back to see him far behind me, yet so close. I kept my eyes locked on him, running, running...

"Ow!" I heard a boy gasp. I had run into him by not looking.

"I'm sorry," I breathed heavily. I looked at who he was. "Oh, it's _you_."

He smirked. "Is that supposed to be some kind of an insult, _Hermione_?" Malfoy pronounced my name with every syllable possible.

"Please--move--must---go!" I was still breathing so hard from running too fast. I saw Ron just ten feet away. I was toast; there was no way I could escape now. Malfoy looked confused until he saw Ron coming.

"Hermione!" he gasped, his raspy voice resembling mine. "Why--you--run--away?"

My breath had slowed a tad so I could speak a little more normal. "I-I don't know," I murmured, nibbling my bottom lip hard. Very little blood was coming from my skin from where I fell. I didn't care. Whatever.

"Granger ran away from little Weaselbee?" Malfoy taunted. I slapped him on his arm.

"Don't call him that!" I shouted. He looked stunned at my stern, strict tone. All he did was roll his eyes, though.

"If you wish. So, _Weasley_," he said prominently. "She ran away from you, eh?"

"Shut up, Malfoy," Ron threatened, his fists forming into tight balls.

"Both of you _shut up_!" I demanded. They fell silent as once. "I'm sick and tired of being around people who have nothing better to do than simply bicker at one another all day! Now, if you'll please excuse me, I'm going to dye my hair purple!" I shouted, causing attention that was much hated. I sped off towards my room, as always, feeling the urge to cut (despite the fact I was already bleeding).

'No,' I told myself. 'I'm not going to cut or throw up...or any of that nonsense!' I took a pillow and hit it flat across my face each time. I put a Silent Charm on the room...and then...I screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Merlin, it felt so good just to let it all out. To scream without a care. There's was just one problem: I wanted people to hear. I wanted people to feel my pain, my suffering. 'Why me?' I thought. I threw my hands up into the air, as if trying to reach for the sky. I started jumping, then singing.

"Whoooo!" That was when Malfoy jolted in.

"Hermione?!" he yelled over my voice. I already knew what was happening to me. My occasional mood swings were never pleasant.

"Hi!" I boomed. I was jumping on the beds, ruining their tidiness. I then saw both Ron and Neville step in, astonished at my once-in-a-lifetime behavior.

"What happened to her?" asked Neville. Ron already pulled his wand out, pointing it to Malfoy's pale, scared face.

"WHAT IN BLOODY HELL DID YOU DO TO HERMIONE?!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. At these words, my mood swing had suddenly vanish; I collapsed to the floor, defeated.

"Ouch."

Neville was the first one to help me up. "You all right, 'Mione?" he asked.

"Just fine," I scowled. I rushed out of the room, pushing past both a confused Ron and a bewildered Malfoy. It wasn't long until Ron continued on. "What did you do to her?!"

"I didn't do anything, you little Weasel!"

"Probably hexed her, didn't you?" Ron accused.

"Jeez, calm down!" Neville urged. Their voices faded away. All I wanted was a place where I could be alone. Somewhere where no one could ever hurt me; abandon me; threaten me; destroy me. I needed to be away; to not feel. To just be Free.

That last word hung off me like a firecracker. Free. Freedom. Away. Alone. Why hadn't I thought of this plan before?

I ran, ran as fast as possible to the tallest tower of Hogwarts. I made sure no one was following me as I ran up many narrow staircases; spiral and straight. It was half an hour until I reached the very top of the tower, panting so hard I resembled a dog. Clasping my hands on my knees, I finally caught my rigid breath, prepared. Prepared to lose everything. Prepared to give up. Prepared to surrender. Prepared to _die_.

I walked to the large, open windows. They were huge; half of Hagrid would fit in one. As I raised my feet onto the window's opening, I took a deep breath, saying my final, last goodbyes.

"Mom, I love you. I love you so much. I know you think I'm a freak, a waste; I'm sorry I am. I'm sorry I ever caused pain just living. I'm sorry I had to be your stupid daughter. I'm sorry I exist.

Harry, you're so loyal, it's unbelievable. Stay safe. I know you'll defeat Voldemort in the end. I just know it. You're the good guy, Harry. You'll always do what's right.

Ron, you're the best friend I could have ever asked for. You mean the world to me. You've always been there for me even at the worst times. But I must go---I must. I must fade."

I was going to continue until I felt a presence behind me. "Her---Hermione?" Malfoy gaped at what I was about to do. I swore under my breath. How the hell did he find me?

I held onto the sides of the window to keep my balance. "Draco...it's time."

He held a hand out to me to take. "Hermione. Please. We can talk this out. Just...very slowly, give your hand to me. Slowly, now," he pleaded. Sweat took over his face. I imagined him running to find me here. 'What an idiot,' I thought.

Instead of following his instruction, I laughed. "Oh, Draco. You honestly think I'm a fool, don't you? I want to be free like the birds..."

"_Hermione!_ Don't! You don't realize what you're doing," he cried. I looked back at him, stepping down onto the ground. Thinking about jumping off the high tower seemed somewhat foolish now. But that didn't mean I was done yet...

He looked relieved when I stepped down, but he didn't know I didn't do it just because he told me to.

"I didn't do that for you, Malfoy," I sneered evilly.

"Call me Draco."

"FINE. Draco, then."

"Were you honestly going to commit suicide, Hermione?" I looked at him, coldly.

"I don't even know..." I whispered, looking to the stone-covered ground of the tower. That was the truth. Now that I thought about it, I knew I would never really have the courage to actually jump. I cared too much about my friends and Mum...

"No," I stated firmly after a minute. "No, it's not what it looked like."

He rubbed the back of his head, then put his hands over his chest; he was feeling his heartbeat.

"You...you scared me." He sat on the ground. As he said this, I noticed something. Something very different about Draco Malfoy that I may have never noticed before. His tone of voice changed. From hard and cold like the ground, to sweet and caring, like nothing I had never experienced before. _He_ was actually the one collapsing on the ground this time, not me.

"Why? Draco, I'm dirt to you..."

"Rubbish!" he snapped, looking me straight into the eye.

"I-I'm confused."

He shook his head. "I never hated you, if that's what you're thinking."

"Why call me numerous names and taunt me, then? Honestly!" I yelled.

"That...that was _before_. Hermione, I don't think that way anymore. I don't know that Draco anymore. I'm different. I...I don't know how. Ever since I met you I've been on your case. But...this year...eh, it's different." He stared at everything but me. I knew this had to be hard for him...to admit he wasn't always the bad guy he portrayed.

"People don't just change, Mal---Draco. They don't. Trust me, I should know."

"Your father's like mine in some ways, you know." I stared at him, wide-eyed.

"He---"

"No, no, of course not!" he held up his hands to defend Lucius. "What I'm saying, is that they're alike in one way...and one way only." I waited. "They both have no compassion; no...sympathy. Not for anyone. People tell me how I'm so much like my father---and I---I can't---I just---!" I could tell with all of the stuttering going on, he had trouble explaining his father's weaknesses. He wanted to punch something badly.

I, however, was somewhat calm and collected. "I know what you mean." I stood up. "I guess...I guess I should go then. Goodbye, Draco." Without another word, I left, leaving Draco Malfoy by himself in the lifeless, dead tower. I was twenty steps down the staircase when I realized something. Leaving him there...it was simply rude. Every time I was going through something difficult, the only person I remembered actually being there was Draco.

I rushed back up the stairs. Tears were already swelling up my eyes. I had him figured out. Draco Malfoy really_ was_ the good guy. I was just too blind to see it. When I entered the tower's door again, he was standing up, facing me. He looked something I had never seen before on him---_hurt_. He looked like he would cry any second now, but I knew he wouldn't. My heart jolted, raced with fire beneath my chest. I never felt it beat so wildly; it was almost _alive_. I did the only thing I even wanted to do at that moment.

Weeping, I ran as fast as I could and hugged him as hard as I possibly could. Tears splashed down my face. "Thank you, Draco," I whispered, sobbing into his shoulder. I felt his arms rise, hugging me firmly around the waist. His cheek pressed against my brown, tangled hair. We stayed like that, hugging each other until the sun said its goodbyes and the moon came back for its nightly visit.

I honestly couldn't remember the last time I felt so wanted by someone.


	7. Something Lost, Something Gained

Time seemed to be passing quickly, even for a healing person as me. The days passed by so slowly, yet slipping from my grasp before I had the time to hold on. I was surrounded by people that I cared most about. That's the only reason I even survived...

"Good morning." I heard Draco's thick, sleepy voice. Despite how groggy he always was when he woke up, he always managed to smile at me.

I yawned. "Morning." It was another day. I got up, grabbing my robes and took a long, hot shower. I brushed my teeth, my hair, and walked out of the room to go to classes. A few people still refused to believe that nothing was happening between Neville and me. I happened to manage pretty well for as long as I could. I knew that sooner or later I would burst.

Draco and I walked to Transfiguration together, getting many stares. 'Great; more rumors will start now,' I thought. As soon as I saw Ron, I took a seat next to him and Harry. Draco gave me a confused look while he sat with Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson.

"Why'd you walk in with Malfoy?" Ron asked, whispered.

"Umm...just because...well, you know, Ron. We share a room...we just happened to be walking together. That's all," I babbled.

"I don't like the idea of you hanging out with him, Hermione. He's nothing but trouble," he sneered.

"Oh, come on, Ron. He's not all that bad once you get to know him, I guess."

He gaped at my words, his mouth forming an 'O'.

Harry saw my annoyed expression and jumped in. "I think it's a great idea," he chanted, smiling. "At least Hermione's making an effort to get along with Malfoy." I smiled at him, grateful he said that.

"Hermione, this is _Malfoy_ we're talking about! How can you be on his side?" Ron asked.

"Ron! I'm not on anyone's side! Quit talking silly," I ordered.

"I'm sorry,'Mione. I...I'm just afraid that...well, nevermind," he stuttered.

"What is it, Ronald?"

"Nothing, nothing."

I felt something tap my back. I turned around to face Pansy Parkinson.

"What is it?" I asked, frustrated. I never did like Pansy, but she never liked me either.

"You're blocking my view. Well, actually, your big hair is," she glared, eying me cruelly. I wanted to slap her---and _hard_.

I managed to smile. "Oh, I'm sorry! You...you wanted to see the board, up there?" I pointed to the front of the room. "Because, Pansy. If I remember clear enough...I think you just enjoy checking out the hot guys up front, am I right?" I stated matter-of-factly. She stared wide-eyed at me. "Or, you know, I've also heard other things. About how you're hitting on them constantly, but they also seem to be busy just at the right time." I saw the whole class start to giggle under their breath, stifling laughs at how correct I was. Pansy looked down at her table, blushing with embarrassment. "Oh, and just so you know, my hair's not bushy like it used to be. So you can just swallow your pathetic so-called insults."

"At least I have taste in real guys!" she shot back. I had no idea what she was talking about. "I'm not the one crushing on gits such as Neville Longbottom!" I looked over at Neville sitting across the room. He looked like a tomato, blushing with so much embarrassment. I felt so terrible for him. I already knew what I had to do.

"NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM IS THE BEST GUY I'VE EVER MET! So what if we're not going out? He's still a GREAT person! Unlike you, Pansy! You use people---you're nothing but a slutty bitch!" I yelled straight to her face. I smiled at Neville, and to my surprise, he was already laughing at my comment.

I sat down, proud that I had stood up for my friend. The whole day went the same way as the others. People paraded me with questions as if I were some kind of celebrity. It was just as annoying as the first bloody day.

I was alone, making my way to the library. "That was quite brave of you, Hermione." I turned to see Draco giving me an approving look.

"I don't like it when people batter my friends. It's not nice, you know?" I turned back around, continuing my way on. He seemed to catch up easily. We made our way into the library. I honestly didn't know why he was staying with me. He hated books.

"Not to offend you or anything, Draco...but, seriously, why are you here? In a library?" I raised an eyebrow. He shrugged.

"I guess I just like spending time with you."

"Funny," I muttered.

"What's funny?"

"The fact that you say you like spending time with me. I can't imagine why."

"Why not? You're human just like everyone else...well, apart from the goblins and all that," he chuckled. "But you get what I mean."

I shook my head. "It doesn't make sense. What happened to...the rivalry between us? I mean, I know that's past us and all---it's just...sudden I suppose," I thought out loud.

"I don't know how to answer those questions either, Hermione. Things just...happen."

"Honestly, Ma---Draco. You don't have to do this to yourself." I felt my frustration building. Why was he doing this?

"Uhh, I don't think I know where you're going with this---"

"Why are you suddenly so interested in me?" I yelped. "I mean, I know...the tower and all...but just because that happened, you don't have to---_pretend _to like or get along with me! I can take it, really. I've gone through far worse, anyways."

He stared at me, shocked. "You...you think I'm _pretending_? Pretending to like you? Or spend time with you? Good God, Hermione!" he slightly shouted, instantly standing from his seat. I could tell he was frustrated---more than I was. This wasn't how I had planned it happening.

"I like spending time with you! I like just being in the same room with you! You're an extraordinary person, Hermione. And...what I can't figure out is why you're trying to push me away! Why are you doing that to me? Do you want me to disappear? _Away from you_?" I didn't have time to speak, he interrupted me too quickly by holding a hand up. "You know what? Just forget it. If you don't want me around, then I won't bother you anymore. I promise." Without saying anything else or letting me have my share in talking, he left the library, hurt and disappointed. Why would he possibly think that I don't enjoy my time with him? That wasn't the point intended. I simply asked out loud what he saw in me that would make him want to waste his time on me.

I was numb. I didn't know what to do. Should I just wait 'til things worked their way out? Disappointed, I shrunk into my seat, frozen and frustrated. I kept asking myself over and over, 'What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?'

I couldn't think clearly. Too many things were going through my head at the moment. I closed my eyes, and without thinking twice, flashbacks surrounded my mind.

It was Draco---he was comforting me. It was the night he read my diary. The diary I burned after he read it. He looked so concerned, so unhappy when he found out. Then the scene switched. It was the first time he had called me Hermione when I couldn't get my hoodie off---the night he helped me. The scene changed, yet again. It was the time I was about to cut myself, and he took the razor from my hand, not allowing me to cut myself. Then, there was one of the most recent times---I was thinking of committing suicide from falling. Falling off the highest tower of Hogwarts. But, no. I had told myself it wasn't a suicidal thing. Just some once-in-a-lifetime experience. Nothing more.

Shaking my head furiously, I knew what I had to do. I had come too far to simply lose him now...

I ran out of the library's huge wooden doors, scanning the corridors. "DRACO!" I didn't see him anywhere near. I kept running. "DRACO?!" I ran out of the corridors and onto the icy, snow-covered grass. I ran through trees and bushes of all kinds until I ended up at the lake. I kept yelling his name. "DRACO! Ugh, damn it. Draco, where are you?!" I screamed. He was no where to be found, and I was too late...

I moaned in agony at my stiff ribs as I trudged through little snow, making my way back into Hogwarts. "Draco, where the hell are you?" I whispered, mostly to myself. I was angry. Angry I had let him go; angry I had been so helpless, stupid; angry I let the best thing in my life walk out on me before my eyes...

Walking back onto campus grounds, I made my way onto the outside corridors, entering Hogwarts once again. The halls were still cool with brisk air, but it was better than the cold outside. Then, out of no where, I saw a pale figure far in front of me. It was him. I ran and ran and ran until I was up close. "DRACO!" I shouted again and again. I was finally out of breath; my running and shouting wearing me out. I looked like I would fall to pieces any second now. He turned around and saw me, but didn't say a word. He was still hooked on what happened in the library.

"Draco---I'm---I'm sorry," I panted, my hands resting on my knees. My stomach felt queasy and uneven, as if I were about to throw up. "Didn't---mean---to---let---you---go! I'm sorry, I'm sorry---damn it! I'M BLOODY SORRY!" I was going to faint---I knew it.

"Why did you do that to me?" he asked, his face expressionless.

"I...I don't know," I gasped. "I'm just---I'm really sorry, Draco. I never meant for you to...to get the wrong idea." I finally managed to regain my breath back. "I just didn't want you wasting your time with someone like me before you realized what a true monster I am. But even when you...read my diary, you were still _there_. It was like, despite everything, you were still there by my side. And I'm...I'm sorry for not noticing that earlier."

He showed no sign of accepting my apology, much less saying anything, so I decided I deserved what I got. Him ignoring me---well, I should have gotten much much worse. I turned around, sighing in defeat. I had lost; what a terrible person I was for letting him go.

I was less than halfway down the long hall when he caught my shoulder, spinning me around. He looked thoroughly, deeply into my eyes. I didn't know if I should say anything, because it didn't seem like he was going to talk.

He seemed to be examining my face. I was getting worried until I realized what he was doing: trying to figure me out. He searched for me. And even though he was looking into my eyes, he was actually looking _through_ me; discovering me. It seemed like time has stopped while he was doing this; as if everything disappeared around us and we were the only two that existed.

He began by bringing his cool fingertips onto my pale, yet red cheek. He traced around my nose, the outline of my face, and then my lips. I was sure more than anything else that I was blushing scarlet. Then, out of no where, he planted a soft, warm kiss on my jaw, causing me to soften up. I closed my eyes. I felt like I was falling backwards; on top of cloud nine. The way he made me feel just then was indescribable; words could never express the feelings that jolted through my veins, hidden in my bones. It was almost too much for me to handle. Almost. And all of my reactions were a result of a simple kiss on the jaw.

Without saying anything else, he wrapped his arms around my waist, hugging me warmly. I felt so secure and safe in his strong steel-like arms. His muscles were thickly wrapped around his upper arms. Not bulky like a jock, but sleek like a swimmer.

I felt the best I had in a long time, until I heard someone ruin it all.

"Get off of her!" they yelled. I didn't bother to move from Draco, I simply turned around only using my head.

"Ron, please. He's not doing anything wrong." I glared at him, eying him evilly. Why did he have to tear apart this perfect moment?

"Hermione, what the hell are you doing with him?" he asked, pulling out his wand. As much as I didn't want to, I pulled away from Draco and walked over to Ron just a few feet away.  
"Ron, it's n-o-t-h-i-n-g." I had to pronounce so it was get past his thick red hair. "Well, what I mean is, it's nothing to be worried about. He's harmless, trust me," I smiled.

"I don't like this, Hermione. I don't like you hanging out with him---or doing whatever the bloody hell you were just doing. I want you to stay away from him."

At this comment, I was mad. "RON! You do not _control_ me! You can't tell me who and who not to hang out with. Ugh!" I trudged from Ron, speed-walking in Draco's direction. Without looking at him, I grabbed Draco and pulled him with me as I walked. "Come on, Draco. We're leaving!" I turned around to see a shocked Ron. I already saw the one question on his face: 'What just happened?'

"I really wish he's get over it," Draco moaned, annoyed. I felt the same exact way.

"Eh, he'll come around soon enough. Just gotta wait for that to happen, I guess," I shrugged.

"I don't think he'll ever accept...our friendship," he choked. I could tell he wasn't intending on saying friendship the first time around. I smiled to myself.

"I guess...I guess he's just like that," I muttered. He shook his head in disapproval.

"Don't you know why he acts like that around you, Hermione?" He raised an eyebrow. I knew what he was saying.

"Oh, come on! I know Ron's had a little crush on me ever since third year, but he's not totally serious. For all I've heard, he likes Lavender Brown."

"That doesn't mean he's not completely over you, though," he sneered in disgust. "The little weasel."

"Ugh," I winced at his words.

"Sorry, sorry," he murmured quickly. "Just because you like him doesn't mean I do, Hermione. But...I guess...I guess I could try...for you, you know."

"Thank you." I looked up at him, my eyes gleaming.

We continued walking until I saw Ginny running towards me. "Hermione!" she gasped.

"What is it, Gin?"

"It's Neville. He...he's upset. Very upset. I-I don't know bloody why, though..."

"Ginny?"

"Hmm?"

"What does this have anything to do with me?" I raised a brown eyebrow at her.

"Come with me," she commanded, taking my arm, forcing me to stumble along with her, leaving Draco Malfoy by himself. "What is it?!" I asked, frustrated.

"He's in there." Her head nodded to the common room. I said the Gryffindor password and entered without Ginny. The first thing I saw was Neville, sitting in front of the fire by himself. As Ginny had mentioned, he didn't look too pleased.

"Hey Neville," I chanted, trying my best to sound chirpy. He didn't reply. "Neville? Neville, what's wrong?" I asked, putting an arm on his shoulder.

"Oh, just stop it, Hermione!" he breathed, glaring at me. "How...how could you?"

I shook my head furiously. "Neville, what are you _talking about?_"

"I saw you with him, you know." I didn't know where this was going. Then I remembered what Ginny had told me before I fainted.

"And...I'm--oh," I muttered to myself. It all made sense. He saw Draco and me earlier and probably had his heart tattered into nothing but waste.

"How could you just...be...ugh, Hermione. At first, I thought you didn't know...my feelings for you. But I overheard you and Ginny talking. That's how I knew you didn't feel the same way. But, of course, that didn't change the way I felt about you. You were just...all over him, Hermione. I couldn't believe it. I don't even know what to do."

I didn't know how to comfort him. I was too speechless. "Neville...Neville, listen to me." It was always so easy to convince Neville. I was sure I would be out of this situation in no time.

"No! I know exactly where this is going! You're going to say something, trying to get me to understand, won't you?" Busted. "Well, it's not working this time. You have no idea how you made me feel this afternoon, Hermione. The worst I have ever felt in a long, long time. I guess you've proved Pansy's point then. After all, who'd want to go out with a guy like Neville Longbottom?" He got up, walking into the boys' dormitory and disappeared.

I had just lost a really great friend.


	8. I'm Worthy

**Okay..so usually I update at least every other day.  
This week has been completely different, though. I'm sorry.  
But, anyways, please R&R and feel free to submit your ideas.  
I'm already sure about what's going to happen, but you  
can share ideas anyways :D**

I think I will be doing a Twilight fanfic shortly...  
I'm pretty sure I already know what it's going  
to be about, but it's most-likely going to be  
a one-shot. Yes, a shortieee. So please..  
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!  
**That's all I ask, honestly. Frickin review.  
Okay, thank you, and enjoy the chapter!  
:D**

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My mood the whole next week was absolutely terrible. I had a very weird connection with Slytherin's Draco Malfoy; my friends were questioning my behavior; Ron had something he'd been meaning to tell me, but won't; and the sweet Neville Longbottom had just gotten his heart broken because my feelings for him were nothing but friendly. As caring Draco had acted towards me recently, I still wasn't completely convinced.

Ron was acting quite strange lately; I didn't know what caused it, but it seemed that whenever we were alone he would try to tell me something. The words just never came out.

"Ron, you can tell me," I soothed. His mouth was open, the word caught in his throat. I was tired of having to convince him that it was okay to talk to me about whatever he needed help with, if that was even the case.

"I...can't..." he breathed, looking down at his hands. We were in the common room, for once. Harry was off to Quidditch practice, and Ginny went along, of course, cheering him on.

I placed a warm hand on his shoulder. "Ron, whatever it is, you know you can tell me. I'm always here for you, remember? You should be able to tell me anything."

"I know, 'Mione, I know. It's just...it's hard---difficult. Yeah, that's it. It's more difficult to say it out loud than to feel it, really," he whispered.

"Feel it? Feel what?" I asked, a puzzled expression taking over my face. The light was very dim in the common room due to only having the fire as a source of light.

He smiled weakly and said, "Later." With that, he stood up, exiting through the portrait hole and I followed. We walked all through the corridors, making our way through different paths than we would normally take.

"So..." he began, "what's going on with...you and Malfoy?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you mean, Ron?"

"Oh come on, Hermione. You honestly think I haven't noticed? You two have been spending lots of time---"

"Ron! We share a _room!_ What do you expect?" I exclaimed. He shrugged uncomfortably.

"Well, I've got to get going. Bye, Ron," I waved and disappeared. I walked into the huge library; the best place in the world. I walked into an aisle I was interested in and scanned a book I was suddenly interesting in. I started peeling the skin off of my bottom lip; that was a sign I was clearly interested, drowning in another world the book had allowed me to enter. It was about a witch who had to choose a destiny her parents did not wish for her. I was half-way through the book when I felt a cool, hard hand touch my shoulder. I shrieked, dropping the book, and turning around, hitting the person behind me in defense. Without realizing it, I had hit Malfoy, and he was lying on the ground, lightly touching his cheek where I had hit it.

"Oh my God!" I breathed, clasping my hands loosely over my mouth. "I am so sorry! I didn't think...I didn't...oops."

He sat up, groaning slightly in pain. He would never let anyone see how much he was really suffering. "Bloody hell! What was that for?" He stood up, and so did I.

"I thought you were--well--someone else, that's all. Are...are you okay?" I gasped, looking at the tiny red mark I had given him.

"Just fine," he said through clenched teeth.

"What are you doing in here, anyways?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest in a matter-of-fact fashion.

"I was just here to see you. But, I'm guessing you don't want me to be here, so I'll just go." He started walking past me, smirking. He was leading me on. I already had something different in mind. Before he reached the end of the long aisle of books, I jumped on him, piggy-back style.

"You're not going anywhere," I muttered, clasping my hands over the front of his neck. He released me, turned me around, and smirked twice as much as I did. _He won_.

"I knew it wouldn't take more than about ten seconds," he murmured in my ear, smiling. I tried to play 'frustrated', but I was too happy at the time. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone stop in front of the aisle for a brief second, then unwillingly, move along.

"Wait here," I said, heading towards the path the person had taken. I walked along the edges, searching every aisle that passed me. Then, I finally found him.

"Oh, Neville..." He was standing with his back against the wall, his eyes closed. He didn't bother to open his eyes in spite of my presence.

"Neville?"

He finally opened his eyes, and stared at me coldly. "What do _you_ want?"

Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly, hoping it would make up for his withered heart that I had ruined. "You wouldn't want someone like me, Neville. You really wouldn't..." I whispered. He hugged me back firmly, friendly. "But _he_ can?" he asked, nodding his head in the opposite direction. I turned around to see Draco, a bored expression crossing his face.

"Dra---Malfoy?" I asked. He nodded.

"Neville, no matter what happens, I promise you, there's not one person I trust more than you. There's not one person I rely on more than you, and you know that. So what if I don't feel...equivalent to you as you do to me? That doesn't mean you're not something special to me, and God knows it doesn't mean I don't love you as a friend." I smiled up at him as warmly as possible. Then I realized something: everything I just said to him was true. It was the honest truth. I relied on Neville for many things before, and he's never let me down even once. Then he gains feelings for me and I treat him so horribly. Thinking about it, I hugged him tighter, not caring about people who passed by, watching.

"Thanks, 'Mione," he whispered as I detached myself. "You really don't know how much that means." He gave me a weak smile, and I knew I had been forgiven by the light the shone in his eyes when he spoke.

"Thank you so much for understanding," I murmured, rising on my tip-toes and giving him a sound kiss on the cheek. Now I definitely knew I was forgiven. Neville deserved all the good he could get---and then I had an idea.

Walking down the aisle again, I met up with Draco who gave me a rather calculating look. "Have fun?" he smirked. I sneered at him.

"If you dare say _anything_ negative about him, I'll make sure you get hit on purpose next time!" I hissed. "I feel sorry for him, really," I admitted.

"Because you just dumped him in a kind way?" he remarked.

"_No_. Because he has feelings for me. _Me!_ Who would've thought..." A calculating look took over my face.

He faced me to give me a meaningful look as we continued to walk out of the library. "I thought we already went over this, Hermione," he said, shaking his head disapprovingly.

"Oh, come on! I mean, yes, I know we've talked about it. It's only true, though. Nobody really knows me." There was an awkward silence. "Okay, scratch that. But, still!"

"Why _wouldn't _someone want to go out with you?" he questioned, mostly to himself.

"That's not the question here, Malfoy." "Back to last names now, are we, Granger?" he sneered.

"Oh, just stop it! I'm not worthy, that's all! Case closed, end of subject. And...I was thinking...that Luna Lovegood in Ravenclaw isn't a bad-looking girl..." I demanded under my breath. We were now walking senselessly into various dark corridors, not sure where we were going.

"Oh, so you're just going to set them up? Great plan. And, no, case not closed, Hermione. I know you've been through hell and back and I know what you've been going through, but that doesn't mean you're worthless or unworthy. Not even a single bit. Damn, you need to start thinking more clearly."

"You haven't experienced what I have, Draco. You wouldn't know. You've only read, or seen, but not experienced. Those are clearly some reasons which prove my theory correct above yours." Sounding scientifical would definitely put him off.

"Not really. I have experienced your pain, just not for the same reasons. It's clearly the same thing, so stop being so selfish and thinking this crap that's wasting into your pretty little head." He ruffled my hair like a toddler, and I rolled my eyes at him.

"I'm not being selfish and I know I'm right!" I pouted.

"Hermione, always so hard to convince," he chuckled, eying me suspiciously. "How can I prove it to you then?"

"It's not possible," I breathed.

"Yes it is. I promise you it is."

"No matter how much you try to convince me the unconvincable, it's not going to work. It won't. It can't. Never," I babbled.

"What would convince you then?"

I looked away, ashamed at my answer. "Nothing."

He shook his head at my answer, disagreeing. "That's not true. Really, what would convince you?"

"I already told you, Draco. Nothing. That's the truth," I muttered, annoyed. When would it sink through his blonde hair?

He stopped walking. I had to turn around and take five steps back to be near him when I realized. He put on his calculating face, and I could tell he was thinking about something very hard.

"Umm...whatcha doin'?" I asked, curious.

He held up a finger, still thinking, shutting me up. I stood with my back against the cold, stone wall as it froze my back. It seems like we had been standing there for at least fifteen minutes. "Draco? Hello? Can we move along now, please? It's freezing," I complained. Before I had time to speak, he trapped me, pinning me against the wall as he had done before. W-what're you doing?" I asked, trembling from a mixture of fear and the cold. I tried sinking further into the stone-covered wall, but it was impossible.

"Convincing you." It happened so slow, yet so fast. He bent down, looking straight into my eyes. And then, his cold, hard lips cascaded with mine. My eyes snapped shut, and the longer he kissed me, the more I began to tremble, and he noticed this.

Breaking the kiss, he looked worried. "Are you okay?"

I nodded weakly, smiling like an idiot. "Hah, yeah, yeah! I'm...I'm fine, sorry." I was feeling sort of woozy. He backed away and I put my hands over my forehead; a headache was slowly forming.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Headache." He took out his wand, pointed it to my forehead, whispered a spell, and almost instantly, I felt the pain numbing away. It was as if I'd never felt it in the first place. "Thanks."

"So, did I convince you?" he asked, taking my hand, leading me out of the dark tunnel-like corridor.

"Well---"

"Yes?"

"Um---"

"Oh, come on, Hermione!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up into the air; something I wouldn't be able to do for a while.

"YES! YOU DID! YOU CONVINCED ME, ALL RIGHT?!" I blew up. I was sure I resembled a balloon; that's how I felt, anyway.

"And...?" he urged.

"And you proved...that..."

"Hmm...?"

"I'm not...worthless..."

"Yes...and...?"

"And that...I'm w-worthy," I stuttered.

He smiled down at me, his gray eyes sparkling, being a source of light in the abandoned corridor. "Right." He bent down again, leaning in on me, and planting a less-harsh, soft kiss on my lips again. I didn't hesitate this time, nor was fear surging through me like before. I felt his arms wrap around my tiny waist, supporting my weaks knees that wanted to give out. My arms snaked up to his neck, holding him tightly. As we both took tiny breaths, he murmured, "Don't think like that, Hermione, please. You're better than that." His forehead was pressed against mine, staring deep into my brown eyes. I held him tight on his waist, hugging him senseless.

"Thank you," I whispered. I was too tired to think about anything else, except for the fact that this boy had just saved me from more than myself, and in more ways than one.

"Hermione?"

"Yes?" I breathed.

"Will you..." he had difficulty speaking.

"What is it?" I asked, concerned.

"Will you be mine?" he whispered, pulling me even closer, holding me even tighter. I felt tears swell up in my eyes. I had never felt wanted before, I had never expected to feel the way I did.

"Hermione?" he asked, again. "I would love to." I smiled up at him, my mouthful of bright white teeth showing. He leaned down, pecked my nose lightly, and we strolled out of the creepy corridor, finding our way back to our room.

As soon as the door opened, I eyed my bed with desperation for sleep. I was exhausted with everything that had been going on. Neville had finally forgiven me, Ron still acted as if there were something he wanted to tell me, and Draco Malfoy was now my boyfriend. Wow.

"You can shower first, if you'd like," he clarified. I nodded, heading towards the bathroom with my eyes closed due to sleepiness. I ran face-first into the closed door, stumbling backwards when Draco caught me, laughing harder than I'd ever seen.

"You---face---slam---hilarious!" he breathed while holding me. I didn't think it was funny at all. Scrambling out of his arms, I opened the door to the bathroom and slammed it shut in his face. I stepped into the shower, still sleepy, doing everything with my eyes closed.

I stepped out, wrapping a towel tightly over my body, and walked out. I didn't bother looking at his face while I gathered my pajamas---I could see him awestruck from out of the corner of my eye. I was going to make him suffer for laughing at me.

"Have fun laughing at me, Malfoy?" I sneered without looking at him.

"Oh, come on, Hermione. You can't blame me! You would've laughed too if you would've seen yourself. I mean you literally slammed against--"

"I know what I did!" I snapped, taking my clothes and once again, walking back into the bathroom adn slamming it just as before. Then he knocked repeatedly.

"Hermione, I'm sorry. Please come out," he pleaded. What a pathetic ferret.

Stepping out of the bathroom and not even sparing him a glance, I headed straight for my bed and actually hopped to get on it when---my body never touched the soft comforter I was hoping to feel. Malfoy was holding me with only his arms as a support.

"Put me down," I demanded.

"No, not until you forgive me," he smirked. I rolled my eyes._ He had won again, _or so I thought.

"No! Now put me down this instant, or I swear to God I'll---"

"You'll what?"

"I'll..._scream_," I hissed. "That would surely attract attention, thus you'll drop me and this'll all be over with. Plus, with my fat body in your arms, you won't be able to reach your wand---"

"God darn...you're not fat, and I know for a fact that..._you wouldn't_."

With a smirk, I screamed as loud as before. "AAAAAHHHHHHHH!" He dropped me onto the bed, his hands clamped onto my mouth.

"Shh! All right, all right, I let you go!" Without looking at him, I got under the covers, shutting my willing eyes to sleep.

"You still don't forgive me? Oh, come on, Hermione. It was just a little laugh---"

"More like a roar, if you ask me," I clarified. He sighed.

"I know you'll get over it." With that, he got into his own bed, turning off the lights, and wishing me a good night's sleep.

-----

**I'm not exactly sure if I like  
this chapter or not...**

Well, anyways, REVIEW!  
:D


	9. I Just Did

**I was re-reading chapter 8 and the grammar is horrible at the end.**

**Yeah sorry about that.**

**But anyways, here's chapter 9!**

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The next morning, I found myself giving in very easily to accepting Draco's apology. I actually did it without thinking twice about it. To my surprise, it was already Saturday, which meant I had time to do whatever I wished. Draco fell back asleep in no time, but due to the excess sunlight that shone through the room, my eyes were forced open, sleepy and unstable. I forced myself to go downstairs and have breakfast without interruptions. Stepping into the Great Hall, I looked around seeing that no one I talked to was there; I took a seat at the far end of the table, took out a decent book, read some, and then ate.

It wasn't long until I saw a pair of long arms snake around my waist from behind me. I was expecting to see the same pale, hard hands, but these were a bit tan and freckly. Turning around, I saw Ron smiling at m from above.

"H-hey," I stammered. "Why are you up so early, Ron?"

He shrugged, "Harry snores too much. Couldn't handle it anymore." He chuckled, taking a seat next to me. "Another book?" he asked, not surprised that I brought it to breakfast.

"You know how I love reading," I smiled.

"Yes, I do," he grinned, "That's what I love so much about you."

I raised my dark eyebrows at him. "Since when do you enjoy the fact that I'm reading instead of losing to a game of Wizard's Chess? Besides, wouldn't you much rather be enjoying Lavender's company?" I retorted. Everyone in Hogwarts knew Ron had a little something for Lavender.

"I'm over her. She wasn't really...my type."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Ron! Since when?" I almost fell off my chair.

"It's not funny! I really am over her!" he convinced.

"Sure, sure," I giggled. "Let's just hope the next girl you crush on has more luck."

"Actually, I've already moved on."

"Oh really? And with who?" My eyebrows knit in confusion.

"Er---someone. It's nothing, really." Then something came to my mind.

"Oh, Ron?"

"Hmm?"

"What's that thing you've been meaning to tell---or ask me? I'm getting the feeling you want to talk to me about something..." I had finished eating by now, and with Ron here, I obviously wasn't going to get the chance to read. I stood, and Ron mimicked my actions as we walked out of the Great Hall.

"It can wait," he smirked. "By the way, how are things with you and---" he winced, "_Malfoy_."

My muscles tightened in my knuckles as my hands formed fists; I was getting tense and annoyed at Ron's interrogations. He held up two freckled hands in his defense. "Woah, no need to go all ninja on me, Hermione. It's only a question." He managed to smile.

"Since when do you care so much about him, Ron?" I was speed-walking down various corridors.

He sighed in frustration and put on a stern look. "It's not _him_ that I care about, obviously. It's _you_."

"Don't be ridiculous! I can take care of myself. How many times must I say that, huh?"

"You act as if you two are a couple or something!" he exclaimed. I smiled to myself.

"And...what if I told you we were dating, huh? What if Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy were a couple?"

He stared at me with horror evident in his eyes. He put his face just inches from mine, pure anger on his delicate features. "Don't mess with me like that, Hermione! Don't ever. Malfoy's an imbecile! Or have you not noticed? He's the boy that refers to you as nothing but dirty blood! It's as if you're on his side..."

"What's so bad about that?!" I exclaimed.

"It's Malfoy we're talking about! How can you be so content by talking about him? What's wrong with you Hermione?"

"What's wrong with me? Why are you being so completely overprotective suddenly? YOU NEVER CARED BEFORE!"

He stopped dead in his tracks at my words; they stung him, inside and out. He was trembling ferociously, as if ready to scream his insides out. Walking towards me, he grabbed my wrists tightly, not allowing me to move. I didn't care; he wouldn't do anything, and I knew it.

"Hermione Granger; I have cared about you since the very first day I saw you," he breathed. His hot breath tickled my neck. "Now, tell me something; if you could have one thing in the entire world, what would it be?" He seemed to have calmed down with his question.

"I-I don't know...what would _you_ want?"

He took so long to answer; I thought he forgot the question given to him. But then he spoke, "There's this girl...and she drives me crazy every day and night. I dream about her constantly, and she never wants to leave my mind. She's constantly in my thoughts, and whenever I'm around her, I say things I do and don't mean. She gets me caught up every time; I don't know what to do anymore. I know she doesn't feel the same way...I know I'll never be good enough for her, because whatever I do, it'll never be enough. She deserves someone way better, and I'm not that person." His eyes were stern, fierce, but his face in all was very gentle, calm.

I felt the utmost sympathy for Ron. "But...but Ron. You're an amazing friend, let alone person. You have to give yourself some credit. Why don't you just tell her how you feel, huh? Yeah, that's it! Go up to her right now, and...and tell her what you just told me. Whoever that girl is, let her know how you feel whole-heartedly." I smiled up at him, but he didn't smile back.

He backed away, and continued walking when he whispered, "I just did."

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**Short chapter! Review, please. **


	10. I Want To Feel Your Emotions

**It has been TOO LONG since I reviewed.  
I think it's been...what? A week?  
Crap, I'm sorry guys. :/ I've just been  
sort of preoccupied with some stuff.  
But, again, thank you for being patient  
and still reviewing :D Hope you like the  
chapter. Review and enjoy!**

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I stood frozen as I saw Ron scurry away from me, hurt and unsatisfied. I had shattered my best friend's heart---that's what he wanted to tell me; that the girl he'd been talking about the whole year was _me_. Shaking my head, I turned in the opposite direction, running into Draco.

"Hey babe," he smiled, pecking me on the cheek.

"Hey," I muttered, straining a smile. He frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing," I sighed, continually walking in senseless directions. 

He followed me everywhere, urging me on. "Hermione...you know I'm not stupid. I know there's something wrong." I struggled, debating whether I should tell him or not. He backed away from me in alarm.

"You..." he said, "You still don't trust me, do you? That...that's why you're not telling me what's wrong---"

"No!" I snapped. "It's just...it's sort of...I don't know, personal I guess?" I shook my head, my fingertips massaging my forehead that ached. "It's complicated," I stated.

He smirked, walking back up to me, taking my small, fragile hands into his large, tender ones. "Hermione. We're together now. You're going to have to trust me, you're going to have to be able to open up to me. That's the only way that this relationship will ever work." I was opening my mouth to argue, but he stopped me. "I know...you're saying you trust me, but you don't. Not fully, anyways." He lead me into our room, sitting down on the wooden table, telling me to sit with him. So I did. "Trust...I know it's something you're not accustomed to, due to everything you've been through, but I promise you, Hermione; I promise you that no matter what happens, I would never hurt you intentionally. _Ever_. You know that, don't you?" I nodded, letting him finish. "Whatever problems, dilemmas, hardships, or suffering you're experiencing, there's no reason that I wouldn't go through all of that with you. I know we've only been together for what, two, three days? That doesn't mean that I don't care about you, that I'm not concerned about you. Please, Hermione, you need to open up to me. You need to let me know how you're feeling."

I shook my head, tears daring to fall onto my flushed cheeks. "No...I couldn't ever possibly do that to you, Draco. How I feel right now...you don't want to feel it. Really, you don't. And no matter how much you want to argue about it, the answer is no. No, I can't have you going through my pain. It's...it's just wrong. I could never ever even attempt to think about what that would do to you. You'd be like me. You'd be _ruined_."

I couldn't bear to look at him now. I was so ashamed; ashamed of who I was, what I had become due to my reckless childhood; how it destroyed me, and how I would never be able to erase it. It was there to stay and haunt me for as long as I lived. I could feel cold liquid falling from my eyes. Telling him everything was harder than I thought it would be. He gently took my chin in his hands, forcing me to look up at him. 

"Hermione, I want to feel your emotions. I want to know how you feel; to be mentally and emotionally connected to you. I want to...to understand you, Hermione. I don't know how else to put it to make it clear enough..." He struggled with his words.

I didn't know what to say. "How..." I started. He looked up at me, his gray eyes eager.

"Yes?"

"How...exactly did this go from my sorrow to all of this experiencing emotions?"

He laughed. "I wanted to know why you acted the way you did back in the Entrance Hall. I wanted to know why you looked dejected, sad."

"Yes, perhaps. But, Draco, you don't want to feel what I'm feeling. I swear you don't. Opening up to you to that extent is unacceptable, and I'm just not doing it." At this, he stared at me with hurt disbelief; a thought I wouldn't have believed existed in him a few months ago when we were rivals.

I didn't expect him to chuckle joyfully. "What?" I asked.

"I know what you're thinking. You're wondering how I could have changed so much in so little time, am I correct?"

I stared at him, awe-struck. "Would you like to know the answer to that then, Hermione?" I nodded anxiously. He smirked, teasingly. "There's only one way you'll find out," he threatened. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh? And what is that, Draco?" I folded my hands on top of the table, waiting. He leaned in close to me so our eyes met.

"You have to at least tell me what made you acted the way you did back there." Shit. I had to tell him about Ron. No, no, no.

"I...I can't," I whispered, trying to put on a serious face.

He leaned back in his chair, folding his hands behind his head. "Well then, I guess that means one thing, then."

I raised an eyebrow. "_What?_"

"You'll never know how I changed so quickly, so easily. Not unless you tell me why you were sad earlier." I pouted, not hiding it. "Please, Hermione?" His gray eyes looked so sad, so pleading. How could I possibly turn him down now?

"I..." I stammered. He leaned in close again, his cool, peppermint breath on my face.

"Please?" he begged. 

I whispered it lowly, and he asked, "What? I can't understand."

I said it again, but he still didn't hear. "What?"

"_Ron!_" I exclaimed, irritated. He leaned back, offended by my sudden outburst.

"Hmm," he thought. "What about him, exactly?"

"Woah, woah, woah," I muttered. "You asked _what_ was making me sad, not _why_. So, hah! I don't have to answer that."

He frowned, somewhat annoyed. "Hermione..."

"No!" I giggled. "I don't have to. You're on your own, then." I glanced at my watch. "I should probably see Ginny now. Bye, love," I muttered enthusiastically. I kissed him lightly on the lips, walking out of the room and on my way to Ginny's.

As I walked out of the room, I heard him scowl in annoyance. I laughed when I walked out, not looking back.

-----

Going to Ginny's was a worse decision than I thought. Apparently, she could see right through Ron, and when she asked him why he was acting unusual, she knew exactly why.

"He was in terrible shape, Hermione!" she muttered, throwing her hands up into the air. "I mean, he came by for what? Five bloody minutes to blow up at me? Jesus! I kept asking what was wrong with him, but he just kept going on and on and on about how his life is ruined and he'll never be the same and blah blah blah! Come on, Hermione! Imagine if you had to deal with that for five whole minutes. It was non-stop shit he was talking, Ron, he was. It was terrifying, and terrible! I never thought he'd get over it; or better yet, leave! I had to plug in my eyes with my own two fingers, and even that didn't block out his annoying, screaming voice!"

"CALM DOWN! Ginny...do you honestly think that's why he was acting so..." No word really covered it up, "Bizarre?"

"He's my brother, Hermione. I see right through him. I knew a long time ago that he had feelings for you. But, of course, he threatened me not to tell you, or else I would have. I'm sorry, really I am."

"What should I do?" I asked, slamming my body onto the bed, my head in my hands, helpless.

"What else?" she stated in an obvious way. "Be honest with him, Hermione! Be gentle, calm, nice, and he'll get the hang of it. Just...be honest. Do you have feelings for him?"

"Uhm..er..." How could I say 'no' nicely? Ron, apart from Harry, was the best guy friend I'd ever had. I couldn't be harsh to him, not now, not ever.

"You...do?" she asked.

I sighed. "No, Ginny. Not like that. That's why I can't talk to him! I can't be gentle and honest about this at the same time. Ugh! It's just not possible!"

"You...you don't like him? Not even a little bit?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I used to. But that was ages ago, Ginny. I got over it; Ron should, too. And I should...I should probably do this face-to-face...nicely as possible, right?"

She shrugged. "Looks like that's your only way out of this, Hermione. I'm sorry, but really, that's all you can do."

I still hadn't told Ginny---my best friend---about my relationship with Draco. She would take it all wrong, I just knew she would. I mean, come on, my friend and Draco were everything but friendly. I was dazed in my own thoughts when I heard her shout, "Earth to Hermione, here!" Her hand was waving in my face.

"Oh," I said, "sorry, Ginny...er..."

She raised an eyebrow. "Something you would like to tell me, sweetie?" She put an arm over my shoulder.

"N-no."

"Stop lying. I'm not stupid. What are you so worried about, other than Ron? I know there's more, so don't deny it, and start talking, _now,_" she threatened.

"Ginny...I'm sorry, but, honestly, you would _not_ understand." As soon as I said this, regret washed over me. She stopped smiling, took her arm off my shoulders, and scooted away from me. "Ginny! Ginny, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Well...it's just...ugh! It's so complicated!" I wanted to scream my guts out at this point.

"You can tell me, damn it! I'm your best friend! I'm always on your side, even when maybe Harry or Ron aren't! I've always been on your side, Hermione! How could you say something like that to me, huh?!" Tears were splashing down her freckled face, and I felt even worse about this than I did with Ron. She was right about everything.

I ran over to her, hugging her tight, and wiping away her tears. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I whispered over and over. I looked down at her. Sighing, I said, "Okay, I'll tell you why this is so overly complicated." She seemed a bit happier, maybe even willing to forgive me. We sat down on the bed, and then I said it.

"DracoandIaretogether." I honestly didn't expect her to understand a word.

"NO WAY! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! OH MY GOSH, YOU'RE SERIOUS, AREN'T YOU?! OH MY GOD, REALLY?! HOW LONG, WHEN, HOW, WHERE..._WHY?_"

To my surprise, she seemed everything but mad, just curious. I laughed. "You're not mad, really?"

She smiled, "Of course not! I love you, I'm on your side, remember? I respect your decisions. Wait...oh! So that's why the whole Ron thing is such a big deal. Because Ron doesn't know...and you're with Draco...and Ron likes you...but you're with Draco, and I'm the only one who knows?" I nodded. "Wow. That's a lot of...wow, that's a lot, Hermione." I giggled.

"I know, I know. Ugh, even though we've only been going out for a short period of time, we've been spending almost all our time together. That's how all of this started, anyways. We were sort of fond of each other a little before this, but we've been an official couple for a few days now."

"A real couple, eh? But...I don't get it. He calls you a Mudblood---"

"Used to call me a Mudblood," I corrected. "He's...he's different now, Ginny. He's not the same person he used to be. But, he won't tell me why," I stated through clenched teeth.

"You'll find out soon enough," she winked.

"Yeah...right..." I glanced at my watch. "Wow, I've been here almost three hours." I got up, stretched, and yawned. "I am starving. Let's go get some lunch."

"Erm, Hermione?" "Yeah?"

"Are you guys like, a public couple?"

"Hmm..I've never really thought about it. Yes, I think so. But, it's funny. Whenever we're together...people just don't seem to be around." I shrugged it off.

She had a calculating look on her face. "What?" I asked.

"Nah, you'll get mad."

"No, I won't. Tell me, please?"

"Well, you're saying people are never around when you guys are together...do you think he knows that...that he's with you when people aren't around..._on purpose?_"

"I never thought about that, either. But, no, he's not like that, I know he isn't. Come on, let's eat!"

And then I dragged her along to the Great Hall to meet a hurt, disoriented Ron.  
**  
**


	11. What Do I Do?

**There's an F word in here.  
I never EVER EVER EVER say the F word...  
But it just seemed necessary :P  
Sorry.  
Hahahhah.  
REVIEW!  
**  
-----

I told Ginny to give me time alone with Ron, so that I could sort things out between us. I wanted to make it crystal clear that I loved him, just not in the way he would have liked. He looked so lonely, sitting by himself in the middle of the Gryffindor table, picking at his plate every now and then. His palm was resting on the side of his head---he resembled a depressed boy. I wanted so much just to run up to him and squeeze him tight; let him know that he meant everything to me. But I couldn't. I had hurt him too much; he would reject my apologies; he would reject my hugs; he would reject me as a whole. I didn't blame him, either. Not one bit.

Sucking in my breath, I exhaled sharply as I walked up to him. I was sure he'd seen me, but he didn't speak. 'Serves me right,' I thought.

"Ron?" Still no reply. Sighing, I sat next to him. Glancing at the huge doors of the Great Hall, I saw that Ginny was waving to me, signaling to do the best I could. Then she exited, leaving me no more help.

"Ron...listen...I-I'm real sorry that I was so blind. Really, I had no idea." No response. "You have every right in the world to be angry with me, but before you do, I just want to let you know that..." I drifted. Saying how much he meant to me was much harder than thinking it or saying it to someone else. My heart ached for Ron.

"If you wanna say how stupid I was for thinking you'd actually like me back, jus' go ahead," he muttered, still sitting in the same position, and not sparing me a glance. His comment made me more than furious.

"RON!" I practically shouted. "How can you think so lowly of yourself?! You're the best friend I've ever had! How could you even THINK like that, huh?!" He looked up at me, bewildered by my attitude.

"Well excuse me, Miss Granger, for liking you and then being put out so quickly. You just left me out; you shut me out, just like you always do! It was Lockhart, then Krum, then Diggory, and then you were talking about Malfoy as if you were almost serious the other day!" he squealed. I saw a few people look our way, now joining in on the conversation; using their ears.

Without another word, I took Ron firmly by the arm, forcing him to get up and follow me out to the Entrance Hall. It was about time some sense got knocked into this kid. As soon as the doors closed behind us, I couldn't help myself.

"Ron, I'm sorry, okay?! I'm so so very sorry. I never had any intention of hurting you---I-I had no idea what-so-ever that you had any interest in me! I thought you were referring to some other girl you always talk about. How was _I_ supposed to know?!" I exclaimed, annoyed.

"No, Hermione, no. You always do this. You tell me not to think lowly of myself or some crap like that, but you go off and do it yourself! You're always talking about how you're nothing but a waste of skin and bones. Do you know how much that affects me literally? You think it's a joke, saying things like that, but it's not. Hermione," he said, calming down, and coming closer to me. "You're the girl who affects me so much. I'm sorry that I'll never be good enough for you. I'm just a stupid red-haired freckled-nosed kid who's just another name on your list."

Before I could once again let out my anger and set the record straight---he did it. He bent down so suddenly and unexpectedly. I ran into the back of the stone-covered walls, hearing a slight cracking noise in the back of my head. He leaned in closer and closer until his lips literally crashed onto mine with such force; it felt as if my lips has busted open from his effort. My heart burned, my stomach stung, my lungs ached. He gripped my wrists into his hands, leaving me as solid and unmoving as a statue. No matter how hard my attempts were to get him off of me, he wouldn't budge. He was much too strong, much too tall. It was impossible.

Tears were flowing from my eyes which I kept open. He could taste my tears that flew from me, but that didn't stop him from smothering me. I kept struggling, but it just wasn't enough.

"Rur!" I tried to mutter from in between his kisses. It sounded like a squeal, but I was trying with all my might to breathe and yell his name to get him off of me.

Then, suddenly, I heard a deep, painful scowl groan come from Ron. He had been kicked in the back from behind. His lips removed themselves of me as he bent down in pain. I looked over him to see Draco Malfoy standing, looking more pissed than I had ever seen him.

"Draco!" I gasped, needing air. I tried to run to him, but my legs wouldn't budge; they were too tired from my own attempts at kicking Ron. Finally, they moved to run after him. "Draco! Draco, thank God you came!" I tried hugging him, but he recoiled from me in disgust. I gave him a look of pure confusion as he showed no signs of wanting me.

"To think you would take advantage of me like that..." he muttered, smirking coldly in my direction.

"What the hell are you talking about, Draco?!" I asked. I could hear Ron collapse on the floor behind me, still moaning in pain.

"How could you do that to me, Hermione?! You just...did that!" he pointed to Ron. "You...you used me, to get to him? I never thought you'd be so low..." his head looked up at me from behind his white-blonde locks, staring evilly into my brown, pleading eyes.

"You...OH MY GOD! You think I was cheating on you?!" I exclaimed, now clearly madder than ever. "I WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON YOU, YOU ASSHOLE! _HE_ WAS KISSING _ME_! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU...WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I would never do that to you!" I tried to touch him, make him understand, but he continued to back away in disgust, both hands in the air; he kept walking backwards.

"I can't believe you, _Granger_," he snarled in disgust. "Well, you can have your little Weasel. See if I care, you insensitive, cruel bitch." Without saying anything else, he turned around only to turn to the dungeons and into the Slytherin common room.

I couldn't stop crying. Without sparing a glance at Ron, not caring about him anymore, I rushed to the room Draco and I used to share, collapsing on the bed and screaming with all of my might into the pillow. My eyeliner stained the pillowcase as I looked up. My life was ruined.

I heard a knock at the door. "Hermione?"

"GO AWAY, RON!" I muttered.

"Hermione, please, let me in," he pleaded.

"No, no, no," I lightly sobbed. The tears refused to stop flowing. He managed to unlock the door from outside, and sat beside me on the bed.

"Go away," I murmured, my voice so soft I didn't think he heard.

"You never told me you were with him, Hermione. Why didn't you tell me?"

"You wouldn't understand." I touched my cheeks to get rid of the tears that were forming currents on my flushed, blotchy face.

"That's...that's probably true," he admitted slowly. "But, still, I didn't know. He's a ferret, Her---"

"DON'T TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT!" I yelled with all my might. My voice was going out.

"I'm sorry. I won't talk about him like that again."

I sat up, still brushing my cheeks. "Oh, Ron," I sobbed. "I sincerely am sorry about hurting you, but, what am I going to do? He hates me! He thinks I kissed you!"

He hugged me, kissing my forehead every now and then. Then the most obvious idea came to my head. "Oh my God! Why didn't I think about it sooner?"

He raised an eyebrow at me. "What?"

"You tell him the truth. You tell him!" I squealed. A faint smile shone on my face.

He didn't smile. "I can't do that," he whispered. I recoiled from him.

"What? Why not?!"

He chuckled blackly, pulling me to him again. "I'm much too selfish to just let you go, Hermione. I love you; I can't give you away to...Malfoy." He struggled to say his name without disgust rolling on his tongue.

With all my might, I backed away from him, disbelief on my face. "How...how could you?" I whispered. "How could you be so...mean to me? I...I can't believe this! You're not going to stick up for me to prove to Malfoy that I'm not the bad guy?! You're just going to LET him stay mad at me?!"

He attempted to hug me again, but I punched him in the stomach, causing him to whimper in pain.

"YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, RON! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ALWAYS BE ON MY SIDE! NO MATTER WHAT! AND NOW YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELP ME?! HOW DARE YOU! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" I screamed, throwing various things around the room.

Without a word and still bent over, he scrambled out of the room, heading for the Infirmary. All I could do the rest of the day was stay locked in the room, and cry myself to sleep. 


	12. Confused and Disoriented

**Wowreviews.  
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I promised my friend who's currently  
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Once again, thank you for your guys' precious reviews.  
Enjoy, bby!

-----

"Harry!" I exclaimed the second I saw him; it felt as if an eternity slipped by, and I hadn't noticed until I saw him.

"Hermione, hey," he said as he hugged me gently (mostly avoiding another punch, I guessed.)

"Ugh, it's been way too long, hasn't it? I never knew Quidditch had you working 24/7, Harry," I frowned.

"I know. Our new team Captain's really getting on my nerves," he grunted. I need to talk to someone about my dilemma.

"Harry, I'm sorry, but I really would like to discuss a problem I'm experiencing. It...it's quite complicated, really. I can't find Ginny and talking to you is something I need at the moment." I looked at him with hopeful eyes. He smiled.

"Of course." We walked to the Gryffindor common room together, sitting down in front of the burning fire.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"It's Ron. And Draco..." I murmured.

"Did...you just call Malfoy by his first name, really?" he raised an eyebrow.

I sighed, "That's just the problem, Harry. Okay, see, I've been keeping all of this a secret from you and Ron...that is, until he barged in and ruined everything...and then Malfoy thought I was the culprit...Ginny told me just to work things out...but what the heck was she thinking?!" He was obviously lost and very confused.

"Yeah..." he tried to understand, "Huh?"

"The truth is, Harry..." I sucked in a deep breath. "Malfoy and I...well...we're dat---_were_ dating, I suppose. Ron slobbered a kiss on me and then Draco walked in and thought I was the one kissing Ron, and Ron doesn't want to clear my name. Understand?" "Wow," he breathed. "So Ron finally told you how he felt, eh? It was about time. Merlin, I couldn't stand being in the same room as him. All he talked about is you rejecting him---wait! So...you and Malfoy...how long have you been going out, exactly?"

I scowled, "A few days..." I put my head in my hands, "But, now he hates me! He thinks Ron's innocent for Voldemort's sake! Ugh! I did no such thing, Harry! Draco was everything to me...and now he thinks I'm a slut who makes out with my best friend! Well...ex-best-friend I suppose. If Ron's not going to help me, then that doesn't make him a true friend right?" He was about to speak, but I kept talking rudely. "Ugh, none of this makes sense! I have no clue what's happening; Draco didn't even stop by our room to gather clothes or any of that! He's probably sleeping in his robes every night for all I know---and it's _my _fault!"

"It is not!" he muttered, getting my attention at last. "Hermione...this isn't your fault, you know that, I know you do. I personally think you should talk to Ron...maybe get him to help you. And if that git doesn't help you, I'll make him."

"But...won't that ruin your bond? I'd rather not get you involved to that extent, Harry. Ron may get angry with you---it would be my fault if he did. I wouldn't want to ruin your friendship with him. I couldn't---"

"Hermione, trust me. Ron and I have been through hell and back---I'm sure he'll understand. But---" he saw my worried expression, "If you'd rather not get me involved, Hermione, then there's just one option open for you."

I sobbed, "What's that?"

He said, "Stand up to Malfoy. Tell him exactly what happened---beginning to end. If he doesn't believe you, then it obviously means he doesn't trust you---"

"He doesn't trust me now, Harry! He obviously doesn't! He thinks I made out with Ron! How low is that?"

"Hermione..." he sighed, "If you want Malfoy back, then I'm behind you one hundred percent. Ron can be selfish sometimes, and that's why I believe you're the one telling the truth. If Ron didn't love you as much as he really does, then I would keep myself out of this. I know you want to do what's right---we both know what you have to do."

I nodded, "I need to tell Draco...by myself."

"Precisely," he smiled.

"Harry...I don't know what to say. You've just helped me a whole load---" He held up a hand.

"We're best friends...it's what we're for, right?"

"That's sort of what Ron said..." I stated guiltily.

"Yeah, well...I'm not Ron," he chuckled. I joined in.

"Thanks so much, Harry," I beamed. What was Ron talking about? Harry was great at advise, especially mentally. I pecked him quickly on the cheek and ran out of the portrait hole, heading straight for the Slytherin common room.-----

It felt like I had been knocking and standing in front of the Slytherin common room door for at least twenty minutes; my knees were buckling from standing in one spot for so long, and my knuckles were aching from knocking while I shouted, "Open the damn door!" I heard lots of loud laughing; music was blasting loudly. What the hell was going on?

"OPEN UP!" I continued to scream. It sounded as if there was a party going on. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I gave up. Scowling loudly, I turned on my heel and walked in the opposite direction; Harry's advise, after all, got me no where so far. I wouldn't have been surprised if Draco hadn't heard me knock for what seemed like a whole hour; the music was loud and it sounded like drunken crackheads partying.

To my surprise, I ran into Neville. "Hey, Hermione," he gasped.

"Hi."

"Hungry? They're just about to serve lunch I think," he pleaded.

"No."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing, okay? Ugh!" I exclaimed. He kept up with me quite willingly.

"You can tell me, Hermione, you can, really! I'm good at keeping secrets; heck, I'm so forgetful, I'll probably forget what you said by the time people start gossipping."

"Really, Neville," I barked, "I'm fine! Today has just been...look, I'm just not having a great time, all right? I'm being accused of doing nothing!"

"That's not possible..."

"My point exactly. But does _he_---" I pointed to the Slytherin common room door ---"believe me? No! And he was supposed to! And he doesn't! What bull!" "Woah---calm down, Hermione," he urged.

"No. Listen, I have to go." Once again, I turned on my heel, walking straight out of the corridors and entering my room. There was only one thing on my mind at that point---a razor. I scrambled quickly into the bathroom, scurrying my fingertips along the cabinets' shelves and not finding one sign of a blade. Cursing and becoming more desperate, I remembered Malfoy probably had one in the bathtub. Holding onto my last shred of hope, I turned the curtains, and to my relief, a sharp, beautiful, metal razor shone before my eyes.

Smiling to myself, I looked in the mirror, and after removing the blade from the razor, I stared at myself long and hard. There was only one question booming in my brain, taking over me: _Would Draco Malfoy appreciate me doing this?_

I frowned at my reflection; no, he wouldn't want me harming myself. But for all I knew, he was wasting away at some party, hating me, forgetting all about me. And for what? I never kissed Ron, it was the other way around. Sighing in frustration, I slammed the blade down onto the counter, zooming out of the bathroom and thumping onto the bed.

Then, suddenly, I heard an sound at my window. _Tap, tap, tap_. It was an owl; it had come to deliver something to Draco. Pouting, I opened the window, collecting the small envelope and tossing it on Draco's bed when I saw who it was addressed to: _Hermione Granger_. Scurrying to pick it up, I opened it, and my heart sank almost instantly.

It was from Mum. I instantly felt nervous; clutching my stomach to stop myself from throwing up, I eased the envelope open to see something that made my feet sink into the carpet.  
_  
Hermione Granger!  
This would have been sent ages ago, had I known how this Owl Post stuff goes! Young lady, I don't know who you think you are, taking yourself away from me and your father! We are furious! We didn't know if we'd be able to get through to you! Hermione, you don't know how hurt I was when I read your letter; it's as if you don't appreciate all that your father and I have done for you. Hermione, dear, we both love you very, very much. Please, don't go on such drastic terms as seperating yourself from us. If this continues to go on, I'm afraid we'll have to pick you up ourselves and cut your final term short if you don't come to your senses.  
Baby, I love you so much. Please, whatever's troubling you, let us know as soon as possible. I don't want to have to take you away from your school; I know you love it dearly. Not coming home isn't the way to go. You don't have enough to possible have a place of your own and Please return an owl so we know how you're doing.  
We love you,  
Sincerely,  
Mum and Dad_

I clutched the piece of parchment tightly to my chest. If I replied and told Mum I wouldn't be coming back which was completely against her will, she would come with Dad and pick me up early instead. But, if I told her I would be coming home, her and Dad would come to King's Cross and wait for me---when I didn't show up, they would go to extremes, inform the Ministry of Magic perhaps. But it wasn't even Mum that was bothering me, it was Dad. Living with him...all it would do is take me back a thousand steps. No way in hell would I do that.

Pacing back and forth around the room, I thought out my options. My choices weren't looking too good. Pouting, I took out my own parchment, quill, and ink and began writing whatever came to mind.  
_  
Dear Mum,  
For the last and final time, Mum: stop worrying about me. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with me. I'm simply not coming home because after seventh year, I need to get my life on track, you know? I need to figure out what it is I want to do with my life. How can you possibly expect me to be independent if you're on my back 24/7? I'm sorry, Mum, but in my opinion, I personally don't think you're handling this the right way. I'm moving out as a step forward, not backward. Mum, I really hope you understand that I'm doing this not for you, not for Dad, but for me and me only. Don't you want your Hermione to be successful? I hope so. Please, understand. I strive for excellence; please back me up on this. I don't mean to be rude, but with or without your permission, I'm not coming home. I'm an adult now, Mum, and I think it's time you started treating me like one. Just know that I'll love you forever and forever, Mum. Dad, too.  
I love you both,  
Hermione._

I read it over two more times until I folded it as neatly as possible and addressed the envelope back to Mum. Telling the owl where to return, it zoomed off into the sky, my message and future clinging to its leg. I was surprised at how stern I had been with her in my letters. It was actually quite astonishing to myself. Glancing at my watch, it was 6 p.m., and my stomach was growling furiously.

"Okay, okay!" I yelled at it. Shaking at my head to ensure myself that I was still sane, I walked out of the room, into the Entrance Hall, and through the doors to the Great Hall.

Everyone seemed to turn; everyone seemed to have all of their eyes and full attention on me as I spotted Harry and sat on the other side of him, opposite of Ron. I caught him tapping my shoulder.

"What?" I hissed, staring at my empty plate.

"If you would just let me explain, Hermione..." he pleaded.

"No. Leave me alone. So, Harry..." I began, "Have you, by any chance, seen Draco recently? I've been trying to catch him at the common room, but no one answers."

Harry shrugged, "I wouldn't worry about it, Hermione. I'm just guessing that he'll come to you when he's ready." He shook his head disapprovingly. "What a sissy."

I sighed, "If only he believed me. But, some git here obviously doesn't want to make me feel better by confessing to his wrong-doing," I snapped, narrowing my eyes at Ron. He looked the same way.

"Hermione, he's the git, not me. I'm your friend---"

"No, Ron, you're not! Why can't you stick up for me? Why can't you tell Draco the truth? Why not just for me? It's as if you don't even want me to be happy!" I sobbed tearlessly.

I stared at my plate. "Look at me, Hermione," Ron demanded.

"Leave me alone." I pushed the golden, empty plate away, and dashed back to the doors and into the Entrance Hall. With all my might and courage, I stalked off to the Slytherin common room, and knocked once again.

"Draco? Draco, it's me, Hermione. Would you please open the door?"

There was no reply.

"Draco; listen, I swear to God that what you saw was all Ron. I---I'm not going to be hanging around him anymore. You were right---all he is is a bad influence who doesn't want what's best for me. If you're not even going to believe me, then I guess I deserve it, being the person that I am."

No movement or sound could be heard from inside, and I was pretty sure the only thing listening to me was the door.

"Ugh. Draco!" I pounded on it. "Let me in, please!"

Then, finally, the door opened, but it wasn't him.

"Mmm..." I murmured, "Is Draco in there, Pansy?" I asked, trying to sound as nice as possible. I even attempted to put on a smile. I failed.

"Who would like to know?" she asked, perky. Her ugly pug-shaped face was not making me any more hopeful.

"Listen, I really need to talk to him. Just...just tell him to come out here," I ordered. She rolled her eyes and disappeared from the door, slamming it in my face. I heard her trudging away, and knew he wasn't seeing me any time soon.

Cursing under my breath, I turned around, walking in the opposite direction when I heard a deep voice behind me, "What do you want?"

I turned around, and there he was. His hair was as untidy as I had ever seen it; his eyes were swollen as if he'd been crying or hadn't gotten an ounce of sleep; his attire resembled his hair, messy and uncoordinated. He looked awful.

"Listen to me," I demanded. "Why..._how_ could you think that I would cheat on you?" I folded my arms over my chest, putting on a stern look. "Do you honestly think it was possible for me to stoop any lower than I already have? How could you, Draco?" I whispered, looking down and hard, playing with the tips of my fingers. "How could you possibly think I could do that to you?"

He didn't say anything; he seemed to awe-struck and dumbfounded to speak, and I was furious. Without sparing him a glance, I turned around once again, and strutted towards Gryffindor tower. I waited for him to run after me...waited for him to tell me he's sorry...waited for the horrendous fight to be over...

I kept walking until I knew he wasn't coming for me. It was over, and now I had no one...

"Hermione!"

Great. I was hearing things. I was hearing the one and only voice I actually wanted to hear, but it wasn't him. He didn't want me anymore, he didn't and never did care for me. I was officially stuck in the world without anyone by my side to help me hold on to the last strand of hope that was so invisible.

"Hermione...wait up!"

No. I wanted the voices to go away. I didn't want to feel like I was going insane. I wanted to move on, but it just wasn't possible anymore...

The illusion of Draco Malfoy turned me around, forcing me to look at him.

"Why? Why? Why?" I asked it. "Why did Draco leave me? Why am I alone?" I sobbed, staring at the hard, cold ground.

"What..." they asked, "What are you talking about?"

"Dr--Draco..." I whispered, closing my eyes. "The real Draco; he left me...I'm alone now..." I breathed.

"What? Hermione, it's me," they assured.

"No," I whispered, "No. You're not Draco. You're not the real Draco. No."

"Hermione!" they gripped my shoulders into their hands as I swayed in different directions. "Hermione! Snap out of it. It's me, Draco Malfoy, the real Draco...what are you playing at, Hermione?"

I was furious. "WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME?!" I screamed. "WHY?! YOU'RE NOT DRACO, ALL YOU ARE IS AN ILLUSION! YOU ARE NOTHING! STAY AWAY FROM ME!" I cried, running past him, and running away, into the dark depths of the night.

Until I was sure I had lost the freak of an illusion, I put my thoughts into place. My tongue was dry, my throat was swollen, and my bony legs were very fragile beneath me, buckling onto the floor, giving out...

I collapsed, trembling very hard. Draco was gone now...he never cared about me...he hated me...

"No, no, no," I sobbed into my knees, my eyes shut tightly. "No. It can't be...this can't be happening to me. Why? Why?" I whispered softer with every word I spoke. Nothing, no one could cure me now. I was broken beyond repair...my life was over for me. I had nothing left to look forward to. Nothing at all.

"Baby?" I heard him whisper. I was crazy. I was insane. I was losing my mind.

"Hermione," they cried at the sight of me. "Blaise!" they called, "Blaise, get Dumbledore...Madam Pomfrey...anybody! Please!"

I heard nothing but footsteps crawling away at the illusion of Draco's orders. "Hermione..." the breathed, panic itching their voice, "Hermione! Hermione, please! Hermione...answer me!"

Why was he ordering Blaise to get staff members? I was fine...what was he doing?

"Hermione! Oh, Hermione, please, wake up!"

I tried to tell the panicked Malfoy, or whatever it was, that I was perfectly fine. Fine. I was alive...I was in great shape...but I couldn't move. My body was locked in place. What was he talking about?

"What is it Mr. Mal---" I heard Poppy Pomfrey gasped in the middle of her sentence at the sight of something horrifying---me. "Oh Merlin!" she cried, "What happened to Miss Granger?!" she shrieked. "What happened?!"

Why was she spacing out? I was fine. I was just frozen on the floor. What was going on?

Then I heard an all too familiar voice: Professor Dumbledore. "Good Lord..." he gasped. Why were people freaking out about me?!

"Don't just stand there, Dumbledore!" Draco yelled, "Do something! What's wrong with her?! Help her!"

"How...how did you find her like this, Mr. Malfoy?" Dumbledore asked, his voice very calm.

"I...I was just...I...she ran away, and I followed," he breathed, guilt showing in his panicked voice.

"Mr. Malfoy...did it just so happen that you two were having a difficult time, perhaps, when this..._incident_ occured?" What incident was he referring to?

"Well...yes, sir," Draco answered. How did Dumbledore see the same illusion as I did?

"Relationships, perhaps?" he asked.

"Yes, sir. You see..." Draco stated, "Her and that Ronald Weasley were...you know...and I thought she cheated on me...she's telling me she didn't but I don't kn---"

"You don't believe Miss Granger," Dumbledore finished for him. "Very well."

"Headmaster?"

"Yes?" Dumbledore turned his face back to Malfoy.

"You...you think it was just Weasley, don't you?"

"Aah," Dumbledore sighed, "I have my own opinions, Mr. Malfoy. I'm just surprised you would think that a young woman as Miss Granger would do something to cruel to the one she cares about most." I saw him smile at Malfoy, then turn back to me.

"She is in a very subtle condition, Poppy," he sighed. "Take her to the Infirmary immediately. She'll need her rest."

I only wish I knew what everyone was talking about.-----  
**  
This is sort of a longish chapter, yeah?!  
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	13. What's Happening To Me?

**Now, this may be a lame beyond lame question..  
But wtf is 'OOC' and 'OC' and all that?  
Hah! I have no clue, I'm sorry.  
Well, obviously, people want updates...  
So here's chapter 13.  
-DUN DUN DUN-  
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-----

I felt Madam Pomfrey at my side, her muscle-confined arms picking me up and heading towards the Infirmary. Then I heard another deep voice say, "Let me hold her, I can take her."

"Not now, Mr. Malfoy!" she shrieked. "This is serious business!"

"NO! Let _me_ carry her!" he shouted, pleading. She handed me to him, but how could he hold me when he wasn't even real? "If you dare drop her..." she threatened, and she followed Draco and I, as I was placed onto a bed. I was so drowsy, my eyes wouldn't open. Had I been hexed?

I heard them walking away from me, obviously thinking I was somewhat asleep, and whispered in hushed voice. "What's wrong with her? Please tell me...I need to know..." he pleaded.

"I'm afraid I'll have to bring that up with the Headmaster, boy. Please, go back to your room, get some rest. You are free to see her tomorrow evening once Dumbledore has this all taken care of.

"No!" he begged. "Look, Poppy," he used her first named, persuading her, "I know things about Hermione Granger that others don't. I know what you and the rest of the school including staff don't. Leaving me out of this certainly won't get you anywhere...what you saw...it wasn't meant to be seen, I can promise you," he convinced coolly. I could tell Madam Pomfrey was definitely considering him to stay.

"No..." I whispered barely, "I don't want him here...he doesn't want me...he's lying...it's not him, Madam Pomfrey," I pleaded. "It's not him..."

Nobody heard me. No one. Professor Dumbledore rushed in and stood at my side, examining me. But I didn't understand. I couldn't see anything. I was drowning in black; the darkness was taking over my body.

"How..." Dumbledore whispered, "How did this happen?" I was sure he was on the verge of tears. His voice cracked, and Malfoy rushed to his side.

"Please, sir," he said, "It's nothing, really. She...she wouldn't have wanted you to see her like this...I-I'm sorry you had to, sir---"

"Is...Is there something...you wish to tell me, Mr. Malfoy?" he whispered lowly.

Draco held his head in shame, "N-No, sir, I---"

"Draco, her life depends on this. We know you know...if you don't tell us, she'll only get weaker."

"But I want to know what's wrong!" Draco yelled, fury burning in his veins. "She's my girlfriend, I have a right to know why you're all acting like lunatics!" The staff around him looked startled as Snape and McGonagall hurried in, standing aside.

"Look," Draco whispered enough for me to hear, "I've known what's been going on with her, I've known. I need to know _what the big deal is!_"

I could sense Dumbledore examining him closely in the silence, debating whether or not it was safe to trust Malfoy. Why were they ignoring my pleas?

"Go on, then, son," he said. "Tell us what you know---"

"No," said Malfoy calmly. "I want to know what's going on, or no deal."

Dumbledore, once again, examined him, and talked in a slightly louder voice for all the staff to hear.

"Miss Granger has been put under very harsh conditions this year," he announced. "I'm sure all of you have noticed. This year, as most of the previous, Hermione Granger has been acting very peculiar lately. Less talking, a bit of slacking of the homework, no enthusiasm about her studies...just not the same girl we all knew and loved." His tone brought out his regret. "I, myself, have noticed these damaging changes. It was a very gradual process, you see, because all of this unusual and unlikely behavior from Miss Granger came to her bit by bit. Just like all of my students, I care for Miss Granger, and I have worried about her day in and day out. I have been observing her, you see, because I have noticed these drastic changes, and instantly had to respond to them. The Ministry of Magic does not know exactly what causes problems such as Miss Granger's, but it is fatal and can be deadly, if all the symptoms are there. What Miss Granger suffers from is a simple thing called physical and emotional trauma. The patients, after a while, end up with scars, bad attitudes, and terrible influences for people, and self-harm themselves. The scars, in which all of you have witnessed tonight on Hermione Granger's body, are none other, than actions done on her own. Why? I cannot say, but I'm sure this is where Mr. Malfoy comes in, is it not?"

I heard Malfoy stepping in anxiously, hesitating whether to tell them what I had been through; why I was the way I was.

"Hermione..." he started, but choked on his words. He was handling this worse than I was. "Hermione...she..."

"Draco Malfoy, you have to tell us! It's urgent, fatal, Dumbledore says!" shrieked Professor McGonagall. She was about to blow up with anxiety.

"She cut herself..." he began. "Yes, that would explain her scars...but they're fading! She's doing better, I can assure you all---"

"I'm sorry to say that that's not the case, Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore said, lowering his head. "Please...continue."

"She---she's not getting better? But, Professor! She hasn't cut since the day I moved in with her! I took the blades from her, I did! They're gone. Look at her arm, no fresh cuts what-so-ever." I could tell he was very confident in what he was thinking.

Without hesitating, Professor Dumbledore pulled up my sleeves to examine my arms while my mind screamed, "NO! NO! NO! PLEASE! NO, DUMBLEDORE! I'M AWAKE! I SENSE YOU AND ALL THE OTHERS! PLEASE, DON'T LET THEM SEE!"

But he couldn't hear me, no one could. No one.

"Aaah," he sighed, examining some more. "You stand correct, Malfoy. But, I can assure you, despite this, there are other ways to self-harm---"

"She's not bulimic anymore, either, Professor!" Draco cried. "She's not! She---" his voice lowered only to a whisper.

He doubted my bulimia.

"It seems as though you are rather hesitant, Draco," sneered Professor Snape.

"I---I can't be sure she hasn't thrown up in a while I---I haven't been around her these past few days." He took a seat on the bed next to mine, his hands in his head. I could sense every action and word taking place, but I just couldn't see it with my own eyes open. Why was this so-called "Draco" giving out information about me? Maybe he was the real Draco...

"Sure, I know you and Miss Granger haven't exactly been best friends and all, Mr. Malfoy," stated Professor McGonagall, still in panic mode, "But you two share a room, or Severus tells me! You obviously should have been around her." She raised an eyebrow at Malfoy.

"As I told Dumbledore.." Malfoy breathed, "We got into a fight. I---I haven't been around for days."

"May I ask what your little 'fight' was about then, Draco? What honestly could make you stay from her that long if you don't even get along well in the first place---?"

"We did get alone, Professor!" Draco exclaimed. "We were together. We---well, we got along great. I made her eat---I made her not throw up. I'm the one who stole her razors from the bathroom so she wouldn't cut. I'm the one who made her gain weight!"

"But she's nothing but bones, now, Draco!" exclaimed Poppy. "How---?"

"We got into a fight because of Weasley," he interrupted. "I thought...ugh, I was so stupid, I was!" he cried. "I thought she was cheating on me! How could I have been so stupid? I'm such a terrible person---"

"Now, now, Draco," soothed Dumbledore. "We'll get through this," he smiled.

Then he added, quite hesitant, "Hopefully."

-----

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	14. Who's Hermione

**Hope you enjoy this chapter.  
dksfhskdfhskd  
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If you don't review, then...  
ew at you.**

-----

I couldn't stand any of this anymore. Why was everyone acting so completely absurd? So I was undergoing a bit of trauma...so what? What was the big deal?

"We should leave now," suggested Dumbledore, "She needs peaceful rest."

"No," Draco said, firmly. "I'm staying no matter what anyone says."

Madam Pomfrey pitched in to Dumbledore, "Headmaster? How shall I treat her...scars? And the bruises..."

Dumbledore held up a hand, "No need to worry, Poppy. The scars are only pieces of proof that Miss Granger has been through a whole lot. They're only physical. What we really need to work on, are her emotional...mental issues. I'm not saying she's crazy, but she has been through only what my mind can imagine. It is best if we leave now."

With a nod, everyone left the Infirmary---except _him_. I decided it was a good idea to let everything out bit by bit.

"So, they think I'm mental, eh?" I raised my eyebrows. My voice startled him; he almost fell off the bed.

"You...You're awake," he stated.

"I kind of never slept," I admitted. I rubbed my eyes. They were tired from straining to open them.

He put his hands in his head, "You heard everything."

"I don't understand..."

He gave me a questioned look.

"Why is it such a big deal if I'm going through a hard time? I've been like this for a while---they suddenly _care?_ What nonsense!"

I stared at the white ceiling for a long time until he whispered, "Hermione I---I'm truly very sorry."

"For...?" I asked.

"I thought you cheated on me! I was so stupid, Hermione, I was, really. I don't know how I could have ever thought that you would be so---vile. It was wrong of me, and I apologize."

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to bad to forgive him, but he'd hurt me enough._ I_ was the one standing outside the common room door knocking my knuckles out while he partied, got drunk, and forgot about me. I was really nothing more to him than a game. A stupid, useless game.

"Hermione?" he whispered, walking towards me and sitting next to me on the huge, white-covered bed.

He leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "I'm sorry."

I still didn't know how to react, what to do. What was I playing at?

"Hermione?" he whispered again, laying his head on the pillow next to me, staring at me intently as I closed my eyes which were still in the direction of the ceiling. I hadn't turned to look at him---not once.

He sighed, knowing what I was doing. "Hermione, if there's one person in this world I love more than myself, it's you."

I laughed without a trace of humor. "That sure is a surprise," I remarked icily. Worrying if he got hurt now didn't matter to me anymore; he had hurt me enough, anyway.

"Look, I said I was sorry, and I really am, I swear. You're everything to me. When you...passed out like that...it scared me to death. Literally. You really don't know how special you are, Hermione. Not just to me, but to everybody. I mean, come on, I can't blame Weasley for wanting you; I was just selfish, looking for an excuse to blow up---"

"That's sick," I retorted, my eyes still closed.

"I know it is, and once again, I'm sorry. Please, Hermione, can you find it in your heart to forgive me, please?" he asked. He sure was hopeful.

I finally opened my eyes. "Do you have _any_ idea what the hell you've put me through? Do you know how scared I was just thinking you'd never believe me? And then there's the fact that you didn't even TRUST me!" I didn't bother not to throw my hands into the air in disbelief. 

"Who the hell do you think you are, Draco, messing around like that? I was this close to cutting. This close. But, of course, who the hell would care anyways? I'm so worthless, it wouldn't even matter! But you know what? You've definitely proved my point, thanks. No one will ever be good enough for Draco Malfoy, especially his slut of a rival Hermione Granger!"

"What---"

"Just leave," I demanded, rolling to the other side and shutting my eyes tight.

"Hermione! Stop! I'm sorry, please!" he pleaded over and over. I continued to shut my eyes so tight it burned. I couldn't be weak. I just couldn't. "Go," I whispered.

"Hermione, I'm so---"

"Go, damnit!" I exclaimed, not making another move. He sighed, hesitant, then pecked me on the cheek as I winced, and walked to the door.

"I'm sorry, love," his voice cracked and he whispered again, "I'm sorry." Then he left.

My head ached with confusion and endless thoughts about everything that had just happened. He realized he was at fault, and I turned him down. No! I could not blame this on myself. It was unnecessary, and particularly stupid.

Turning on my other side, I stared at the spot that Draco had just been. I moved my face over to the pillow, inhaling his beautiful scent. I could have spent the rest of the night with him by my side, but I refused to; he had put me through enough.

Before I knew it, my eyes were drooping and sleep took over me, washing away my fears.

-----

"Miss Granger? Miss, please wake up...you must take your antibiotics," an odd, out-of-place voice demanded.

Opening my eyes and rubbing them, I woke up to a very white, large room. I turned to my left seeing other people resting in white beds that resembled mine. I looked to my right to see a plump, stern-looking woman eying me carefully.

"Please, Hermione, no time for wandering. We must have your bruises cleared up as soon as possible. It is simply unhealthy." Who was this woman?

I glanced at a door on the far edge of the room; the door plate read 'Madam Pomfrey.'

"Pomfrey?" I asked myself.

"I think it's much more polite of you to call me Madam Pomfrey, Hermione," the woman snapped, clearly not in a good mood. I examined myself, seeing that I had on what looked like a regular nightgown, but one for hospitals.

I looked her up and down before I asked, "Who's Hermione, and where the heck are my pants?"

-----**  
Oh man, do I love the ending.**

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	15. I'll Help You Remember

**In case people are confused about  
the previous chapter, just keep reading.  
Everything's explained further on.  
Haha, I'm glad people liked the ending  
of chapter 14. :O :O :O  
And thank you for the feedback everyone.**

-----

I felt a huge headache coming on. I didn't know where I was or who I was. Why was I here? Who did this to me? In the end, I figured I must have short-term memory loss, that being why I was in this weird-looking place. Or, I could have committed murder---I really didn't know what to think at this point.****

"E--Excuse me?" she asked, bewildered by my statement.

"Who are you? Are you a nurse? Wow, this room is white!" I said, partly amused, gazing around the room once more. "Oh, dear child!" she snapped, angry. "Stop playing games!"

"What...what games?" I asked. "Who the heck are you?! Some woman? And who is 'Hermione'? Why did you call me that?" I rambled. "Oh my God," I whispered. "Who...Who am I?"

I saw the woman's eyes widen with shock, fear, as she scurried out of the room. Minutes later, a whole bunch of rather old-looking adults scrambled into the large hospital-type place. Was this...prison?

"Oh my Gosh!" I exclaimed, hurrying out of the bed. "What did I do?! What crime did I commit?! Okay, look, whatever it is, I'm very very sorry...Misters and Misses! I---I didn't know---I---_what?_" I breathed heavily.

"Dumbledore!" the woman named 'Madam Pomfrey' squealed. "She thinks she's a criminal! Oh dear Lord..." she clutched her sides, looking as if she were about to fade or pass out.

"What? What's going on here?" an old, silver-haired man asked. He was rather ancient looking, wearing peculiar dark purple robes. The other adults were odd-looking as well, with different colored robes, disturbed expressions covering their hard faces.

"I think it's time...for some investigation," said a pale-faced, greasy-haired man in black robes. He didn't smile, nor did any feeling show upon his thick features.

"What are you suggesting, Professor?" asked Madam Pomfrey.

"The one and only Draco Malfoy was in this room with her last. She remembered everything before he stayed with her---" "Oh, how foolish we were, Professor Snape!" cried an old woman with black hair and a very tight bun, square spectacles on her worried eyes. "It was the boy, it was! He probably gave her a Memory Charm...it all makes sense. He used the Memory Charm to make her forget her past...or maybe, it was out of cruelty, to make her forget about his mistake."

What mistake were they talking about? Who was this Drake Mefroy, and who were all of these people? Who was _I_?

"Um, excuse me," I said, "I think I should get a say in this." They waited. "Who am I?" I asked bluntly.

Instantly, the old man hurried to my side, feeling my forehead, perhaps for a temperature. "Are you sure you cannot remember anything, Miss? Anything at all? Please, think steady and hard---yes, concentrate now."

I shut my eyes softly, waiting for anything, anything that would help me to remember my past. But nothing came; nothing gave me evidence as to who I was and what I was.

"I---I don't see anything," I stated with my eyes shut, still concentrating.

"Think hard," the old man whispered.

Then I abruptly opened my eyes. "Wait a minute! I don't even know you! I shouldn't have to do whatever you tell me! You could be murderers for all I know; look at you people!" I pointed at them. "Do you see what you're wearing?! You look like you were born in the second century or something with those rags on---"

"Hermione, that's enough."

"Stop calling me Hermione! Who is that? That can't be me---that's much too strange of a name---"

"Sit down," said the professor whose name was Snape. By the look on his face, I obeyed, sitting on the huge bed.

"My dear child," said the old, ancient wrinkle-faced-looking man. "Please allow us to explain. My name is Professor Dumbledore; I work here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am the Headmaster. All of these adults around you are professors who teach here. We are magical beings; that being said, I am a wizard, you a witch---"

"Excuse me?" I retorted. "That's not a very nice thing to say to a girl such as I. I wasn't trying to be rude to you---"

He chuckled, "No, my dear. A witch; you can manipulate magic."

"Okay, okay, just stop it. It's not funny anymore. Please, take me home," I pleaded. "I promise you, whatever I did, whatever sickness I have, I'm fine now. Okay? Please, just...give me my clothes and I'll leave."

"Miss Granger," the old man named Dumbledore said, "You have been hit with a Memory Charm---"

"A wha?!" I asked.

"A Memory Charm," he repeated, "A young boy whom you are---were dating hexed you. It's sort of a long story you see---let me explain."

So I continued to sit on the bed while he explained this mysterious boy---how we had been dating and how he thought I cheated on him with someone named Ron Weasley who was supposed to be one of my best friends. Then he explained how this Draco or whatever hexed me by making me forget about his mistake---he wanted me to forgive him.

"Some boyfriend!" I exclaimed, jumping off of the bed, startling everyone. I ran over to a nearby rack which contained normal-looking clothes, put them on, and continued rambling. "Where is he?! I swear to God he will pay for making me forget! He'll pay for ever doing this to me! I promise you! And where are my parents? Don't they care about me? Where are they? Tell me, _now!_"

When I said this, all of them, even the greasy dude named Snape looked somewhat worried. They exchanged hesitant glances, almost as if contemplating whether to tell me the truth.

"Oh no you don't!" I exclaimed, "You cannot possibly _not_ tell me! They're my parents! I want them...whoever they are! Take me to them."

No one spoke for a long time, and then Dumbledore spoke, "Your name is Hermione, if you're still wondering. And...you may want to rethink the idea of going back home, dear."

"Well, why?" I asked.

"Because...your father---he---oh, I'm afraid I'm not the one who should tell you, Hermione. Look, I know you've gotten plenty of rest. I'm sure you're hungry. Here, why don't you go to the Great Hall with your fellow piers, Harry and Ron? They've been worried sick since they heard."

Tears starting welling in my eyes. "But, Professor," my voice cracked, "I---I don't know who Harry and Ron are. How am I supposed to know where this Great Hall is? I don't know---"

"They're coming for you, Hermione," he soothed. Just then, two built guys burst through the door. One had jet black hair, and an unusual, lightning bolted scar embedded on his forehead. The other had a head full of bright red hair; he was very tall and lanky. From Dumbledore's description, this must be the jerk who made my so-called boyfriend hate me.

"HERMIONE!" Ron exclaimed. He practically ran towards me, hugging me so tight I thought my lungs would collapse. I thought I would fall off my feet, but luckily the other boy caught me. "Hermione, we are so glad you're all right! I was so afraid, Hermione!"

I didn't say anything.

"Hermione?" he asked.

"Hi."

"Look, I know you're still mad at me, but I really didn't mean it---" I held a finger to his lips to shut him up.

At that moment, everything turned its opposite. I didn't care that this kid named Ron ruined my relationship with a jerk who made me lose my memory. I was just so happy to have friends by my side; all the other stuff didn't matter.

I took them both into a huge bear hug as I felt their shock.

"You're not mad at me, Hermione?" Ron asked.

I laughed. "I don't care. And who're you?" I asked the black-haired boy I just hugged. He looked at me as if he was about to die.

"She doesn't remember me?" he asked Professor Dumbledore. He walked over to him, and I heard Dumbledore whisper the whole ordeal in his ear.

He walked back, staring at the ground, horrified.

I didn't know what to say. "Um, what's your name?" I asked. 

"I'm Harry," he answered. "Harry Potter." I hugged him again.

"Thank you for being my friend." I smiled at him, and he returned it weakly. "Come on, I'm starving!" I exclaimed. I dragged them both by their arms out into the long corridor. "Umm, guys? Which way's the Great Hall or whatever? That's where we get our food, right?"

They exchanged odd glances. "We'll lead the way," they said. So we walked a little bit, then into two large doors. I saw hundreds and hundreds of kids look our way from four very long tables. They gestured for me to sit at the third table on the right. As I passed the fourth table, I saw a peculiar white-blonde head staring at me intently from my right.

"Pervert," I muttered under my breath. I was a bit thankful that he couldn't hear me, whoever he was.

Sitting down, I felt very out of place. I didn't know these two best friends of mine, and I was afraid of where I was. Where were my parents? Why didn't they come to pick me up?

All of a sudden, I really thought I had just gone berserk. The golden goblets and huge plates suddenly appeared to have all of the most delicious food I had ever seen. I almost died with shock.

"Hermione," Ron nudged my ribs, "You're a witch, remember? This always happens..."

"Oh," I murmured. "Right." Taking as much food as possible and putting it on my plate, I gobbled everything down as soon as it touched my lips. Everything was so perfect; I never wanted eating to end. Before I knew it, my stomach felt as if it were about to burst---something told me I never ate this much.

I was out of the Great Hall in minutes, followed by Ron and Harry. What good friends they seemed to be. Then a voice I didn't recognize came from behind me, "Hermione!"

I turned around to see the same white-blonde-headed boy running towards me. I turned to Harry, "He knows me?"

"You'd be surprised," he muttered. It seemed as if he were stifling a laugh.

"Hermione," the blonde boy panted. "Look, I---I'm real sorry---really---"

"Who are you?" I asked.

That's when I heard Ron and Harry laughing louder than ever, apparently thinking something was funny---something I didn't know about.

"Um, what?" the boy asked. "Hermione, look, I know I deserve this whole ignoring thing you're doing now, but I said I was sorry, okay?"

"Who are you, you freak?!" I exclaimed. Ron and Harry were now clutching their stomachs rolling on the ground in tears of joy. I didn't get it.

"Look," I said, "I don't know who you think you are, but I don't know you. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going with my two best friends." Keeping my head high, I walked past him, and he caught me by my wrist. At his sudden touch, just how his pale, cold skin collided with mine, I felt as if I had been shocked to death. My eyes widened, my legs felt stronger, and my confidence built up higher than before.

"Hermione, what are you talking about?" he asked.

I shook my head, bringing myself back to earth. "H-How do you know me?" I wondered aloud. "I've never seen you before---in my life."

"Okay, fine," he grunted. "I guess I deserve this little game of yours. I guess I'll just have to play along then. Hi, I'm Draco Malfoy." He stuck out his hand as I stared horrified at him. He was the one who put me through this. He was the one who put a Charm on me. He was the reason I couldn't remember who he was in the first place.

"_You_," I murmured maliciously. I pushed his chest into the stone wall, and he moaned in agony. "YOU'RE THE CULPRIT, YOU SCUM! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE ME FORGET!"

I got onto of him, slapping him on his arms, and then his face several times. It seemed as if the emotions I felt from him touching my wrists were now giving me the ability to punch him to death. All of my anger was being released in a constructive sort of way.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME, HUH?! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GOING OUT OR WHATEVER, AND ALL YOU DID WAS MAKE ME LOSE MY MEMORY! THANKS TO YOU, I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HECK I AM OR WHAT I AM! YOU JERK---" I continued slapping him until he grabbed hold of my wrists. I saw that his mouth was slightly bleeding.

"Granger," he breathed. "I didn't---"

_ WHAM._

I slapped him again while his grip got weak. He tightened his hold once again, but this only came as an advantage to me. Now I felt stronger, more able. "DON'T DO THAT!" I exclaimed. "DON'T LIE TO ME LIKE THAT!" I punched him in the jaw, and not regretting a moment of it. "ALL THE TEACHERS KNOW THAT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HEXED ME! I DON'T REMEMBER SHIT BECAUSE OF _YOU!_"

He was still struggling against me; I didn't care if the whole world saw that I had actually beaten up this boy---he ruined the rest of my life and he was going to pay.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" I cried, sobs taking over me. "You took _everything_ from me! I don't know who I am! I DON'T KNOW! You should be ashamed of yourself! You were just trying to make me forget about your lies---HOW PATHETIC!" I screamed in his ear. He was clearly disliking everything I was doing to him.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about!" he yelled just as loud. I had no way of covering my ears because of his tight hold around my wrists. "Hermione, I never EVER _EVER_ hexed you! I never put any kind of Memory Charm on you---I swear!"

He was now standing up, taking myself with him. His strength was more than I could've imagined---he pulled me up without much effort at all. Before I could say anything else, he reached up and grabbed me, pulling my lips to his. I tasted his blood, like pennies and salt. He dragged his tongue through my mouth and all across my jawline. I was sure once this was over, I would look like I belonged to a circus show. I tried to end it, but he was holding me even tighter as I struggled with more force. I was clearly crying now. My struggles were worthless; they made the situation worse. He could taste my tears, and this scene reminded me of something very dim, very far. I felt like I was being controlled, like I was the puppet and he was the ventriloquist. I had weird visions surging through my head. There a man---about forty-five or so. He was beating a harmless, fragile-looking girl. She pleaded and she cried, begged for someone to help her, but no one ever came. He continued to beat and harm the sad, crying girl until I realized---

The girl was _me_.

"Please stop," I whispered, clearly not fighting anymore. He pecked me very softly on the cheek, allowing me to stand properly.

"You're pathetic," I whispered. Getting out of his tight grasp, I ran towards a stunned-looking Ron and Harry.

"Come on," I said, dragging them to where ever---I had no idea.

As I was walking, I realized something---something I thought I had felt before. I felt guilt; it was plunging through me, pumping in my veins. I didn't have to ask myself why; I already knew.

"Uh, guys? Where are we going?" I asked.

"Common room," said Ron.

"I see, and where is that?" I asked. They told me where it was and about the Fat Lady and using a password. "Thanks guys. I have to do something now---I'll meet up with you later, all right?" I asked. They nodded, and I walked back the opposite direction.

I wasn't sure exactly what I was looking for. I was sure that when I saw it, I would know. I passed by all kinds of walls, paintings, statues, and people; nothing clicked in my mind.

Then I saw him.

He was standing in the same spot, leaning against the same rock-covered wall. He had his eyes closed, looking very peaceful. He didn't notice me, and for that, I was grateful. Very silently, I turned left, and into a different hallway. I needed to get away---fast.

Speed walking until I felt out of breath, I clutched my knees tightly, gasping for air. It felt as though I had been walking for a very long time.

"Miss me?" I heard a smirking, deep voice ask behind me. Shutting my eyes tight, I turned around, opened them, and found the person I least wanted to see.

"I don't know what you're still doing following me around," I retorted nastily.

"Maybe you should believe me when I say I didn't hex you or put any pathetic Charm on you," he said through gritted teeth. He was leaning on the wall just as before.

"What else am I supposed to believe?" I asked. "I don't know what happened---I'm only thinking what I've been told. From what I've heard, it was _you_ who didn't believe _me_ last time, remember?"

He put his head in his hands. "Hermione, I've already said sorry a million times----"

"That was when I could actually remember!"

"You can't possibly think I did it. And I don't think it's very polite of you, Granger, to go off assuming things."

I stared at him hard for a long time until I whispered through clenched teeth, "Fine."

I turned around and continued to walk away from him.

"Go away," I demanded when he followed me.

"Baby, I'm telling you the truth, really I am."

"Don't 'baby' me! I don't even know you! All I know is that you _WERE_ my boyfriend, and then I have no clue what happens after that. I've heard people talking. They say you're vile, cruel, and conceited. How could I have possibly ever have had such bad taste in a guy?!" I asked myself.

He seemed taken back by this. "You didn't regret it when you were going out with me."

"As far as I'm concerned, my life was better when you weren't in it," I snapped, still walking in a hurry in whatever direction possible. 

At this, he held my shoulders, pulling me to him in a tight hug. It was fairly uncomfortable.

"Ow!" I shouted. "What are you doing?!"

"Holding you, obviously." I saw him roll his eyes.

"Listen, Draco, or whatever your name is---" I backed away from him "---I don't know you, nor do I want to. I've been through enough for today. Don't you think you should just be honest and admit that you're the cause of all this? I'm sick of this---I want to know who I am. Obviously, my name's Hermione Granger, but I don't know what kind of person I was before I lost my memory. I have no idea." I stared at the ground, silent tears falling on my cheeks.

Holding me gently by my waist, he held me close to him. I felt very protected, something I was sure I didn't usually feel. Just like before, many different emotions were surging through me---I didn't know exactly _what_ to feel. There were positive and negatives feelings. There was anger, there was lust, there was poison, there was trust. Trust that seemed to be so fooled around this these days, especially to me.

He bent down and whispered, "I'll help you remember." 


	16. Complications

**I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow morning,  
and I'll be away for a week solid.  
That can only mean one thing; I can't write.  
I don't think my sister's bringing her  
laptop with her, so I can't update.  
I'm really really really sorry!  
I'll try as hard as possible to get to a computer  
and try and update as much as I can.  
I'll be writing in a notebook all of the upcoming  
events that will be happening.**

FYI: I actually don't know where this story  
is going. I thought I did, but my mind changes  
every once in a while. This'll probably be  
my last update for a week, so I would just  
say to re-read the whole FF, soak up the  
information, and enjoy it as much as possible  
so that in the end, everything makes sense.  
I'm sorry, and thank you to everyone who  
reviews. :D

In some ways, this chapter is very emotional.  
**I actually loved the outcome of it. I felt it  
while I was writing. I really did.  
It has a bit of life-lessons, yeah?!  
Please enjoy, thanks.**

-----

"No," I whispered. "No one can help me. It's not possible." I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand in shame. "I don't know who to trust. What if you're just lying to me? What if you _did_ make me forget for all the wrong reasons?"

He turned me so I faced him and said, "Why would I possibly want to help you regain your memory if I'm the one who made you forget in the first place? Love, you trusted me before all of this. When I find out who did this...oh, I'll kill them." I looked up at his face and saw no traces of sarcasm. Uh-oh.

"But...how? How can I remember? As far as I'm concerned, it's impossible. No one will even---hang on! Draco, that is your name right?"

He sighed, and nodded.

"Right. Sorry. Well, Dumbledore wouldn't tell me why I couldn't contact my parents. He mentioned something about my dad but, he didn't continue. He said that he's not the right person to tell me---tell me what?"

He gave me the same exact look Snape and Dumbledore exchanged when I had asked them, and this just made me angry. "You're not going to tell me, are you?! Ugh! Great, now I'll never know who I am!"

I made my back lean against the wall and sank down into my knees, muttering to myself.

"Hermione," he whispered, leaning in close to me. When I looked up, his eyes were no less than an inch from mine. "I swear, Hermione, I will do whatever it takes to get you to remember who I am. I care about you way too much to simply let you forget about me forever." I finally managed to smile at him, and I could tell he wanted to kiss me.

The thing was, I still didn't know this boy. Even his hair that seemed to stand out so much didn't come as a hint to me. It would feel as if I was kissing a complete stranger. The last time he kissed me, I ended up with blood smeared on my face.

Before his lips could find mine, I got up, straightening out the jeans I took from my Infirmary.

"Well then," I said, "What do we do first?"

-----

All of the next few weeks, we spent the rest of our time just talking. He asked as many questions from my previous life as he could, and I answered them to the best of my ability. The thing was, it was useless. I didn't know what I was answering and about who who was asking half of the time.

"Okay," he said as we sat down in our room for the first time after the Great Hall incident, "Do you remember anything at all about this certain room? Does anything in your mind just seem to click?" he asked.

I surveyed it. It was beautiful, yet so normal. There were two twin-sized beds that faced the same direction, and a small table on the far left side of the room. On the left wall was a small door.

That's how every single day went. I would come to the same exact room and he would ask me the same questions.

"Hmm," he murmured. He went and sat at the foot of the bed nearest to the door. "Do you remember anything happening on this bed?"

"Hah, I don't think you've asked me that one yet. Do I want to know?" I asked, my eyebrows raised high. He chuckled softly, "Nothing like that, I promise you. But, still, does this certain area of the bed remind you of anything? Anything at all?" I looked into his eyes and saw that he was very eager to have me remember my past.

"Um," I muttered. I sat down next to him, observing the pillows. "All I know is that this is where I sleep..." He looked at me as if that solved everything.

"...Because this is where I've been sleeping since I woke up in that horrendously white room," I finished.

The hopeful look on his face disappeared almost instantly. "I-I'm sorry," I muttered. "I-I just can't remember. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about. You're doing just fine." He smiled down at me, but I couldn't do the same. 

"UGH!" I yelled. I took one of the pillows and screamed into it as long as I could, then I collapsed backwards on the bed.

"Hermione? Hermione, it'll take time. You couldn't've possibly expected all of your memories to flood through you at once. Patience is a virtue, as they always say."

"Patience can die for all I care," I murmured. I took the pillow off of my face and stared at him. "Draco, I have been at this for at least three weeks. Nothing's familiar. Nothing. I look at this room and all I see is...well...a room! There's nothing here that reminds me of my past."

I put my head in my heads, rubbing my forehead with my fingertips. I whispered, "I'm never going to remember."

"WHAT?!" he roared. "Don't _ever_ say that! You _are_ going to remember, Hermione! I don't care what it takes, you...you have to remember. You just have to. I'm not taking no for an answer, and neither are you---"

"Just face it!" I exclaimed. "My memory is wiped out. I have no intention of trying anymore. My brain hurts; we've been at this forever. I want to give up, Draco! I'm so sick and tired of not knowing what I'm going to do each morning. All that's ever on my mind is just trying to remember who I am. That's _not_ normal! I don't deserve this!"

He pulled me to him, making my arms form a circle around his waist. "Don't be ridiculous," he demanded. "I don't care how long it takes; you'll remember me, I know you will..." he whispered softly as his voice drifted. I could tell it was very hard for him to see me like this; to see me losing my mind day by day, getting more and more anxious. I knew he wanted me to remember to badly, but that just wasn't happening. I wondered what he was thinking.

I looked up at his face and saw something I thought I'd never see a guy do. Draco was _crying_. I looked up at him, my eyes full of concern. When he noticed me looking, he smiled down at me, and kissed my forehead.

"You have to keep trying, Hermione," his voice croaked with tears. "You have to remember me. You have to." I felt his tears fall onto my forehead, and then, I felt it.

I felt myself being torn away from him, and instead, lying down on the bed, my eyes drooping. I saw myself wearing a huge, gray hoodie, and I was too tired to take it off. Then I saw him---Draco came over to me, eying me carefully.

-----__

_"It'll be kind of hard, though," he said. "You know, sleeping in that enormous hoodie that you're wearing." _

_"I guess," I squeaked. I was so tired, it was unbelievable. But, he was right. I could barely move under the covers with the huge thing I was wearing. I would need help getting it off. I didn't bother asking. How embarrassing... _

_"Hmm," he grunted. "Let me help you, then." What the bloody...? _

_"Ugh, that's okay. I'll manage," I moaned, my voice muffled by my pillow. _

_"Nope. You need it off. Because if I have to wake up in the middle of the bloody night to hear nothing but your complaints about how you can't move---" _

_"Fine." _

_He walked over to me, lifting me up off the pillow by my forearms. "Okay, lift your arms up," he instructed. I did as I was told, my eyes closed through the whole thing. _

_All I felt then was the thick, hot fabric rubbing gracefully against my face, and off of me. I suddenly felt a lot cooler, more comfortable, now that I had just a tee shirt on. _

_"There," he stated, happy with himself. I still couldn't open my droopy, displeased eyes. I seemed to have fallen half asleep in a sitting position. With a chuckle, he gently pushed my shoulders down, my head resting on the pillow. He got into bed, turning the light off until it was pitch black. I forgot one thing. _

_"Thansss," I mumble, falling back into the trance. _

_A few minutes passed until I swore I heard him whisper, "You're welcome, Hermione." _

**-----  
**  
I was thrust back into reality; my eyes snapped open and my grip around his waist tightened.

"Hermione?" he asked, his face still covered in tears. I didn't know how to explain it to him---had I just seen a part of what I used to be? 

"We didn't used to get along before a while...did we?" I asked, being very hopeful. He gave me a shocked look; I thought he'd been Petrified by ice or something. 

"W-Why do you say that?" he stuttered nervously. "H-Hermione...d-do you remember? Do you remember? Hermione!"

"Draco!" I exclaimed. "I saw it! I saw it, I swear! You! You helped get a really large hoodie off of me! And then I said 'thank you' and you said 'you're welcome' and then I'm here! I mean---I saw it! I _remembered!_"

Instantly, I saw that more tears started flowing from his eyes. "Oh my God," he whispered. He pulled me tighter to him; I couldn't breathe, but I didn't even care. "Hermione..." he gasped, clutching me hard. "You really remembered! Sweetie, you remembered!" His tears were all over my own face now.

Feeling the need to scream with excitement, I looked up at him. "Thank you," I whispered. Using my fingertips, I brushed his delicate tears away. I traced the outline of his face; his nose, his eyelids, his lips. The moment he opened his eyes, I smiled at him again.

He cupped my jaw in his hands, then, very carefully, kissed my tender lips. It felt as if the whole world disappeared beneath us, and I was floating on a cloud. This guy really did care about me. He, after all, wasn't the cause of my memory loss. He cared about me, and he went with me the whole way through. He never left my side, and for that, I was grateful.

"Draco..." I whispered as his forehead rested on mine. I was confused, but I felt protected.

"Please, Hermione," he breathed. "Answer something for me, okay?"

"Of course."

He leaned in to my ear before he whispered, "Do you trust me?"

I felt my body freeze, taken back by his words. Who did I trust? I didn't know...

"I---I get the feeling that I...I didn't trust or love easily before..." I murmured.

His eyes looked deep into mine before he said, "I'm not going to lie to you. That's the truth."

"But why?" I asked. I looked at the comforter, wondering. "Draco, I want to know who my parents are. I want to know..."

"You will in time," he muttered. "But I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"What's so bad about my family, huh? No one's telling me anything! I've been awake for a month, and no one wants to tell me where my parents are---"

Then it hit me rock-hard in the back of my neck.

They were _dead_.

"Oh my God," I breathed. I removed my forehead from his, got out of his warm, comforting hold, and stood up, standing near the door.

"What is it, love?" he asked concerned.

"My parents!" I shrieked. "They're dead, aren't they?!"

His mouth formed into an 'O' and he answered, "No, no, Hermione, no. They're not dead, I promise."

"Then why else won't anybody tell me what's wrong with them? I need to know! It's not fair!" I squirmed. I started pacing around the room, back and forth until I felt dizzy from doing so.

"Hermione...I don't know...you're not ready..."

"Ready for what?" I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Look," he said, standing next to me, "It's your father. He's the reason Dumbledore won't send you home, or let you contact your mother, at least. It's not safe. If he ever found out that you lost your memory---"

"What's so dangerous about that? My father would care for me, just like all fathers do!" I exclaimed. "And I'm getting my memory back, remember?! I just had a vision about what happened one night...the hoodie...I-I'm getting better..."

He held me tight, and I laid my head on his chest. "Of course you are, sweetie, of course you are. I'm only saying that..."

"Saying what?" my voice cracked.

He held my shoulders, and I looked up at him. He was smiling. "Come on, let's go find your little friends. I'm sure they're wondering where you are just about now...It's dinner time."

Pouting, we finally made our way into the Great Hall. I instantly caught sight of Harry and Ron, said bye to Draco, and sat at the Gryffindor table.

"Hey guys," I saluted.

"Hello, dear," said Harry, smiling. Ron, however, was scowling at his food.

"What's wrong, Ron?" He didn't answer.

I gave a questioned look. He whispered, "I think he's mad because you're hanging out with Malfoy."

"What? Why? He didn't say anything before. And why don't you guys call him by his first name; Draco?"

He shrugged. "I thought you'd have figured it out by now. Me, you, him, and Ron have been rivals since first year."

"I knew I was...but not you two," I shrugged. "Oh well. Ron?"

"What?" he asked grumpily.

"Ron, I really don't see what you have against him---actually, I really would like to tell you two something that happe---"

But I was interrupted by a whole flock of barn owls storming in from the windows. I was already used to this peculiar way of post, so I wasn't frightened as I had been the first few times.

I never had to worry about them. I never got mail, anyways. But then, a large barn owl dropped a scarlet red envelope on my toast, and I was puzzled.

"Oh no!" shrieked Ron. "Hurry up, Hermione! It's a Howler---OPEN IT!" He sounded as if it was the end of the world.

"Okay, okay!" I yelled. I quickly tore it open, and before I knew it, it was yelling at me. "HERMIONE GRANGER!" it yelled. "HOW DARE YOU GET SICK AND NOT INFORM YOUR FATHER AND I! WE HAVE BEEN WORRIED SICK! WE WERE JUST INFORMED ONLY YESTERDAY THAT YOUR MEMORY HAS BEEN WOOZY, AND YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL US?! YOU LITTLE---OH WAIT. HERE'S YOUR FATHER. HE IS QUITE UPSET!"

So this woman was my mother. Her voice was so high-pitched and shrilled, it reminded me of something else. Then a man's deep voice interrupted my thoughts.

"So..." he said. "This is how you repay your mother and I...YOU FILTHY LITTLE PIECE OF SCUM!" he shouted. 'No,' I thought. 'This can't be my father. This just can't be...My father wouldn't act like this...he wouldn't talk this way about me...'

"You're lucky your mom just left the room HERMIONE GRANGER!" he screamed from the Howler. "JUST WAIT! I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU TO BEHAVE AND TEACH YOU WHAT AND WHAT NOT TO DO ONCE YOU GET BACK. AND YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT YOU'RE GETTING A LITTLE TREAT FROM ME WHEN YOU GET HOME! I SWEAR, I'LL STRAIGHTEN YOUR SCRAWNY ASS OUT ONCE IT'S BACK IN LONDON! REMEMBER WHAT I SAID, HERMIONE! YOU'D BETTER BEWARE FOR WHAT'S UP AHEAD! YOU'VE GOT TONS OF EXPLAINING TO DO! STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH YOUR MOTHER AND I! I BET YOU DIDN'T EVEN LOSE YOUR MEMORY YOU SON OF A STUPID PATHETIC BITCH! ALL YOU DO IS TRY TO ATTRACT ATTENTION! YOU MORON! DO YOU HAVE ANY FEELING WHAT-SO-EVER?! YOU'RE GETTING IT WHEN YOU COME HOME! I'LL MAKE DAMN SURE OF IT! LET'S ALL JUST HOPE YOUR WASTEFUL MEMORY MIRACULOUSLY COMES BACK BY THE TIME I FETCH YOU FROM THAT WEIRDO SCHOOL! YOU'RE STAYING LOCKED UP IN THE HOUSE THE REST OF YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE LIFE, YOU HEAR ME?!"

And then, just like that, the envelope tore itself apart. I didn't notice it before, but when I felt my face, it was soaked with tears. Ron and Harry were already hugging me tightly, and the whole entire school was staring at me from their tables. I was speechless. That was my dad who had just said all of those awful things to me. That was my dad who just threatened me. That was my dad that I wanted to actually go home to---until now.

"Hermione!" Draco was behind me, dragging me out of my seat. All of the staff members came scurrying towards us.

"Please, Headmaster," said Draco, "Just let me take her up to bed, please, she doesn't need this!"

Professor Dumbledore gestured for us to follow him. We went towards the long table where all of the adults sat, and into the door behind it. I instantly fell into Draco's lap on an armchair. Ron and Harry came, too.

"Hermione," said Dumbledore, "I'm so sorry that's how you had to find out...I-I didn't know that...None of us were expecting that..."

"He---" my voice cracked "---Why did he talk like that to me? How?"

"Professor!" yelled Draco. "Please! L-Let me tell her. Please."

After thinking hard, Dumbledore and the rest of the teachers agreed. I looked at Draco, and he said, "Your father, Hermione..." he inhaled deeply. "He abused you from when you were only a child."

I sat there, numb. No emotions were flowing through me at all. I stared into space, thinking of absolutely nothing. Another wave of information hit my brain.

"My dad..." I murmured. "He was...He was a Muggle?" I asked.

They stared at me, stunned.

"My God..." Professor McGonagall breathed. "She remembers, Albus!"

"Dumbledore," said Draco. "She remembered a little bit a few hours ago as well. She remembered one scene...a scene that happened in our room only a few months ago. She's progressing, sir, I can feel it."

Dumbledore nodded, smiling. "So it seems."

Nobody seemed to notice that I was still crying. "Professor...the whole school knows...the whole school..." I whispered, drifting.

"If you would like, Miss Granger, I can have their memories swiped these past few minutes. It's no task, really. But...you need to understand, Hermione..."

He came over to me and said, "Your father is not a good person. I know, it may seem harsh, but it's the entire truth. The Ministry of Magic, even though it's a Magical Society, has been keeping tabs on your father, just as they did when we were searching for Sirius three years ago---"

"Sirius?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nevermind, dear. The point is, we are not letting him come back to get you. Or, in other words, you're not going back to him. It's simply not happening. Everyone here knows what kind of person he is, Hermione, and you need to understand that going back to him would do a great deal of injustice to your soul. Your father...he's not a kind man. He abused you, you see, and he hasn't stopped. No matter how long a period of time he's away from you, he's never stopped abusing you. That's something that can never change about him. I'm sorry..."

"Professor!" I shrieked. "If I don't go home, where am I supposed to stay?"

"Stay with me," said Draco.

"No bloody way!" Ron pitched in. "Hermione! Malfoy's family hate Muggle-borns! There's no way Lucius will ever tolerate you being his son's girlfriend. No, you can stay at _my_ place for the holidays."

"But---"

"Won't Molly mind, Mr. Weasley?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"I don't---"

"My father isn't the piece of scum you think, Weasley!" spat Draco. "If Dumbledore and I explain the situation, he'll gladly welcome Hermione into our home---"

"What a bloody lie!" snapped Ron.

"Wait---" I murmured.

"Hermione should be giving _me_ company!" shouted Harry. "_I'm_ the one living with people like the Dursleys! With Hermione around, they'll feel less able to be mean to me, seeing as she's a great witch, no matter what the circumstances---"

"But guys---" I pleaded.

"No way, Potter," shrieked Draco. "She stays with _me_."

"No!" yelled Ron. "Hermione's always stayed at my place for the holidays, she stays with---"

"LISTEN TO ME!" I screamed. The room fell silent at once. "Don't I get a say in this?"

They kept staring. "Look," I said, "This is my final year here at Hogwarts. It's all of ours. Don't you think I shouldn't be babysat? I should get a place of my _own_ when the time comes---"

"Absolutely not!" yelled Draco. "It's way too dangerous out there! No...you can't. Come on, Hermione, stay with me. Everything will be fine."

"What about your father?!" shouted Ron. "You know he won't like the fact that Hermione's staying at his house! He'll hate the idea!"

"Dumbledore, you're the Headmaster. What do _you_ think?" Harry asked.

After a long moment, he said, "I think that Miss Granger is old enough to decide for herself what she wants."

I turned instantly to Draco. "Your dad would mind if I stayed at your place, wouldn't he?" I asked.

"Well---not if I convinced him. Father and I have a sort of bond you see---"

Ron and Harry both smirked, trying hard not to laugh. I rolled my eyes at them.

"---The truth is...I really don't know how he'll take it," he admitted. I sighed.

"Well then, I guess the only option I have left---"

Everyone's eyes were staring intently upon me. It was quite a tense moment.

"What was that, Granger?" snapped Professor Snape.

"The only option I have left," I continued, staring evilly at Snape, "Would be to get a place of my own after term ends."

-----

**Remember, a WHOLEEEEE WEEKKK!  
So, review review review!  
I want to see my FF full of reviews!  
:D  
Thanks.  
**


	17. Strange Behavior

**I'm getting tired of this fanfiction.  
It's ending soon...  
Enjoy.  
**  
-----

That night, I lay awake with only the crudest thoughts buried in my mind. I now knew, understood why everyone reacted with caution whenever I spoke of my father.

My father...

The man who used to abuse me. And what other complications I had to deal with... Oh, simple. Just memory loss; the fact that I may never truly remember who I am. Nobody knew how I had come to lose my memory. Draco Malfoy had been the number one suspect. But no. He couldn't be. He wouldn't be the person who did this to me. He wasn't the guy that everyone claimed for him to be. He was different...he understood me in ways that others never could. My best friends, Harry and Ron, were backing me up all the way...yet, they did not approve of Draco. They remained enemies, and that was just something I would have to deal with.

The months passed quickly; like fun being swept out of your hands when you attempt to cling to them so tightly. I had regular appointments and check-ups in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey was very persistent when it came to my health.

"But Madam Pomfrey!" I whined, "This simply isn't fair!"

"Now, now, Hermione!" she hissed, "Do you want to remember your past or not---?" As soon as the words slipped from her mouth, she gave me an apologetic look. She regretted saying something.

I looked down, red creeping into my cheeks. "I---I'm so sorry, dear."

I looked up at her, a wistful look in my eyes. "Why must I remember a past that isn't dear to me? Why must I remember the cruelty that was thrust upon me? I don't understand..."

"Miss Granger," she said, sitting next to me, patting my back with a slight smile on her face. "Fear...it's what makes us stronger. It's what tests us every single day. If you learn to deal with your harsh past, it only amounts in you becoming a far more brave, confident person."

"Are you positive?"

Her smile widened as she whispered, "My dear. You were put in Gryffindor for a reason..." Without saying anothger word, her lopsided smile still plastered on her wrinkled face, she left the hospital wing, and never gave me my medication.

"I suppose I won't be taking my daily medicine anymore," I told Draco as I entered our room an hour later.

He raised a blonde eyebrow, "Why would that be?"

"I'm not sure...Look, would you like to join me? I'm going to the lake...this May weather is really beautiful." I glanced out of the window, admiring the swaying leaves as they danced with the wind.

He rubbed his forehead, curious. Without explaining, he took my hand, pushing me out the door and into the opposite direction of the lake. "Where do you think you're taking me?" I asked, confusion overtaking me.

"I don't understand..." he murmured to himself.

"Don't understand what? Draco, please, let go of me." His grip around my wrist tightened. "Ow!" I muttered.

His grip then loosened and he apologized, "I'm sorry. It's just that...this really doesn't make any sense at all..."

"What---"

But it was no use aqg again. We were standing in front of a large gargoyle. He murmured the name of a famous sweet, and a stone staircase emerged from inside the walls.

He never bothered to let go of my wrist as he knocked on the oak doors. Almost instantly, the doors flung open, and there sat Dumbledore at a desk. His half-moon spectacles falling off his very crooked nose, his twinkling blue eyes never leaving mine, and a large, red bird taking its place on my shoulder.

"AH!" I shrieked, my eyes shut tight. The bird made unusual, high-pitched noises in my ear...but it was almost comforting.

"No need to worry, Miss Granger," he soothed. "Fawkes is very gentle."

"Er, right," I muttered, still a bit panicked.

"I'm guessing Mr. Malfoy didn't just bring you here to discuss my phoenix, did he?" he asked, his smile never fading. "Well, Professor," I said, "to be honest, I don't know _why_ I was brought here." I sent Draco a death glare.

"Ah, I see," he whispered. "Please, have a seat."

We did as we were told as I stayed silent. "Professor," breathed Draco, "Why has Madam Pomfrey objected to give Hermione any more medicine? I mean, I know she's no healer, but usually cases like this...they...they end up in St. Mungo's..."

"St. what?!" I asked.

"An international wizard hospital, Miss Granger. And, yes, Mr. Malfoy, you are correct. A condition such as Miss Granger's here should be in St. Mungo's, indeed."

I felt Draco's body tense, his grip once again tightening around my wrist. "Stop it!" I hissed. He didn't obey.

"Professor! She must be treated!" he cried. "But...I would rather have her here in Hogwarts and...and if Pomfrey's not going to do anything about it anymore, what other choice do we have?" Now he was the one panicking.

Professor Dumbledore gave Draco a look I'd never seen him use before. "Well...I thought that was quite obvious, Mr. Malfoy." He silenced himself.

"Go on, please," Draco muttered, his teeth clenched.

"Let Miss Granger heal _herself_."

"What?" Draco and I murmured simultaneously. "Professor, I know I've remember like...two scenes from my past...but that was months ago! Professor term is nearly over! What am I supposed to do? How? I---I don't understand..."

Dumbledore shook his head in frustration. "Miss Granger...you know what your father did to you, of course?" he asked. I nodded once. "As I always say, only time can heal wounds. Give yourself that one thing --- time. Do not work yourself up so much that you can barely think anymore, that your brain hurts. Time solves everything. Dinner's on its way. Please, enjoy it." Without another word, he gestured his hand to the already-open door, and we led ourselves out.

Once in the hallway, Draco spoke again. "Hermione..."

I waited, "Yes?"

"I'm so very, very sorry," he breathed.

"Sorry? Sorry for what?" I asked.

He shook his head, his fingertips grazing his temples. "I'm just worried...what if you don't get better? What if? I'm so afraid to think that you'll never really remember me..."

I stared at him, my mouth forming a large 'O'. How could he talk to me like this? How could he bare to say those words that only made my self esteem sink a hundred times lower?

I slapped him on the arm. "How dare you!" I shrieked. "Why are you thinking that way? Only I can! I'm the one who doesn't know anything! Look, I don't need you thinking this way as well. It's too much. Just stop it, okay? Please. Let's just...just eat."

I walked further, but I realized his footsteps didn't match mine. He wasn't following me. I looked back, and saw that he was in pain, agony. His head was snapped back, leaning against the hard wall. His right leg was raised up onto the wall, giving him support while he clutched his stomach.

"Draco?" I shrieked. I ran to him, examining his face. His eyes were closed, but not in peace. They were scrunched up, as if he were trying to forget something. He raised one hand from his stomach and moved it to his face. "No...no, Hermione..." he whispered, pain inflicted in his every word. "I don't want you to see me like this...Please, go, please..."

He was suffering. "Draco, what's going on?" I stretched up on my tippy-toes and kissed his neck.

This only made things worse.

"Hermione," he pleaded in a whisper, "Hermione, go!"

"I-I don't understand..." I murmured softly, my eyes searching for his, wanting them to open. But they never did. He turned away from me, and kept walking. "Go eat," he demanded. "I-I'll see you later on..."

I was confused, bewildered. Why was he acting so completely unusual? Had I done something? Said something? I shook my head, trying to free my mind of over-thinking too much.

I walked into the Great Hall, only to be accompanied by Harry and Ron. They noticed my expression, and instead of saying hi, bombarded me with questions. "I have no clue what's going on with him," I stated, confused. "Ugh!"

Ron patted my shoulder awkwardly and said, "Don't worry, Hermione. He's a git anyway---"

"Ron!" Harry sent him a death glare. "It's Hermione's choice you old prat---sorry, Hermione," he apologized, giving me a smug smile. I grinned back.

"Thank you. I'm just worried, that's all. He's never acted this way before...or, in other words, since I woke up..." I stabbed my food with my fork, ignoring the worried glances they exchanged with each other. "You know what, guys? I'm really not hungry...I'll meet up with you later, okay?" I silently got up, leaving them to their chat.

I wandered around the corridors, trying to recognize them---recognize anything. Help was not on my side. I walked into a corridor that I had never encountered before. It was dark and dingy, a musty smell emerged deep from it. I decided this would be a good opportunity to discover a place I'd most-likely never been in the life I had before. The deeper into the corridor I walked, the colder it got.

I contemplated whether or not I should just walk back, but I had alraedy gone too far. I took a few more steps until I heard a deep moan coming from farther away. I couldn't make out the noise, so I continued further into the corridor. The farther I walked, the louder the odd sounds got. They continued, and as soon as I saw a lit room, I noticed that the door wasn't closed all the way. If I just peaked in...no one would notice.

I tip-toed up to the door, and was startled by what I saw. Dobby was slapping Draco Malfoy. Without thinking, I barged in.

"DOBBY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" I screamed. I remembered Draco telling me about the ugly creature that used to belong to his family.

"Please, Miss," stuttered Dobby, "Dobby was commanded to do so, Miss. Dobby didn't want to, Miss. He was commanded to." He bowed down and I asked, "By _whom_?"

A fearful expression came upon his face, and in one sly motion, his skeleton of a finger pointed to Draco Malfoy.


	18. The Explanation

"D-Draco ordered you to---Draco?! No way. Draco, this house elf is insane! And how could you just let him slap you like that? Are you stupid? I _know _you have more strength than that---"

But he refused to look at me. He was sitting in a simple, wooden chair, staring at the floor as if I didn't exist.

"Draco?" I asked once again. No response. I walked over to him and kneeled, my neck craning to look into his eyes. As soon as I tried, he shut them, and his hands started trembling.

"Dobby, what's wrong with Draco?" I asked, more calm.

"Dobby can't say, Miss. Dobby promised. Dobby musn't." He shook his head with disgust. I turned to him, kneeling at his feet now.

"Dobby, please. I'm begging you. What's wrong with Draco?" I pleaded. Without warning, he took a nearby candle and started banging himself in the head with it.

"Dobby? What are you doing?!" I asked, outraged. I took him from his firm grasp, panting while I did so. "That was completely out of the question! I don't care if it takes all day, Dobby...you're going to tell me what happened to him if it's the last---"

"Don't," said a faint voice in the background. I turned around and asked, "What do you mean 'don't', Draco? You're obviously of no help...and Dobby's the only one who knows...I'm guessing."

"Don't tell her, Dobby, please don't," he begged. His voice stung with guilt, pity. I wondered what had come over him.

"Draco," I pleaded, back on his side, "Please, please tell me!" I murmured.

At last, his eyes met mine, and I saw everything but the Draco I once knew. "Go, Hermione," he demanded. "Go to your room, sleep, and dream."

"_Our_ room," I corrected. "Draco, what's gotten into you? Why are you acting so---"

"Go!" he yelled in my face. I saw the regret on his face the exact moment I felt my eyes tingling with tears. Without another word, I got up, walked out of the silent room, and ran heavily to my room the whole way. The tears wouldn't refuse to spill as I propped myself onto the bed, hugging my knees tightly.

It was going to be a very rough last month.

-----

"I know, I have no idea what's gotten into him," I said to Ginny one afternoon.

"He just...he isn't the same. Ever since he's acted so bizarrely, I haven't remembered a thing. He's not speaking to me nearly as much...I feel as if...he's just pushing himself away from me. I feel that he's disgusted with me, Ginny," I whispered in sadness, staring at the rocks laying around me. The grass was greener and greener every day, and the weather was always so beautiful.

"He's changed...I mean, he still hugs me and tells me he loves me...but it doesn't matter, because it's not_ him_ saying it. That's not the Draco I knew three or four months ago when I didn't know who I was. He's...different, Ginny. It's killing me. On top of that, I still haven't remembered

"And he made Dobby hurt him! And you want to know what else?" I threatened, leaning closer to whisper in her ear, "I've seen the bruises."

"Do you think he..." she trailed off, horrorstruck.

"I have no clue, Ginny," I said. "And I've noticed little scars on my body...I've noticed them a long time ago, actually, but that's besides the point, because we both know that my---" I winced, "---father put them there. He won't tell me what's wrong. He's hurting himself, Ginny, and I can't stop him."

She smirked, "Yes, you can."

I gave her a questioning look. "Hermione," she said to me, "Never doubt yourself. Never doubt your ability to change someone." Smiling, she got up, turned, and walked away, leaving me confused and frustrated.

-----

With no where else to go, I decided I would finish up my work in my only room. I sigh, knowing that there was a sure possibilty that Draco would be there, waiting for me. He never knew that every night since he yelled at me, I've cried myself to sleep, wanting the old Draco back. I was putting up with something that I knew wasn't mine...Draco...the Draco that existed now definitely wasn't mine. It made me angry, it made me frustrated, and most of all, it made me hurt.

With a frustrated sigh, I finally ended up in front of my room, but hesitated to go in for some reason. I was afraid...I was afraid of the way he reacted back in the Entrace Hall. He left me so confused, and now I was chicken to stand up to that. Gathering up my courage, I pushed the door open, and instantly, my mind my screaming. It felt as if my voice got caught in my throat, not allowing myself to actually scream the way my brain was. My heart starting thumping, loud enough for the whole school to hear. I clutched my stomach this time, my legs buckling beneath me. Blood was smeared over the carpet; not a lot, but enough for someone to suspect murder. I felt my head getting weak, my eyes closing heavily, my legs giving out at the sight I saw.

Draco; he was cutting himself.

"Dr--Dra--Draco---" I managed to whisper weakly, clutching my knees for support. "Draco, why?" I breathed. "Why are you doing this to yourself?" I muttered, running to him, and struggling to get the knife out of his firm grip.

When I succeeded, I examined him, and hated what I saw. Disgust washed through me when I saw that he hadn't only cut his arms, but one long slash formed on the left side of his face, thin and blood-shed. His hair was matted, blood filled in it, too. His white shirt was now part crimson as it leaked down to his pants.

I gasped in horror. "What is the meaning of all of this, Draco?!" I exclaimed, anger and concern filling me. "WHY? Tell me! Why have you been doing this to yourself?!"

Before he could give me an answer, I zoomed into the bathroom, dampened a large towel, and gently scrubbed him with it. "I need to get you to the hospital wing imme---"

"NO!" he shrieked, his eyes widening in horror. "No, you musn't."

"You'll die of blood loss!" I screamed. "I'm taking you...I'm taking you right now! I don't care if I have to _drag _you, Draco Malfoy, but you're getting help."

I was about to walk away to get help when he caught my arm. It wasn't rough like it had been, but gentle, soft, _pleading_.

"Please, love," he pleaded with me. "Let me explain something to you." I nodded, sitting with him. His hand never left mine.

"Less than a year ago, I was forced to share a room with the smartest, most annoying girl I had ever met. She had dark brown hair that was always too bushy to handle and her teeth were so huge, she could have been in a circus. That was, until, her fourth year here at Hogwarts...then her teeth were fixed, of course. Anyway, I was assigned to share a room with her, and instantly, I couldn't bare it.

"The way her chocolate brown eyes never left a book untouched. The way she always got full marks on all of her work. The way she always took people's rude insults. _My_ rude insults---I was never proud of her, but somewhat jealous, although I'd never admit it to her then.

"I always knew that there was something about her --- something unique, poise, elegant, loving --- that always drew me to her. But, I could never show her the softer side of me...the way I wish I could have shown.

"Despite that, I despised her for the most part. I was unwilling to accept the fact that she was always better at everything that I was. But, despite her talents, she never showed them off as I would have. My anger and jealousy towards her burn like fire, and every day, the fire built up --- built up so high that it could have burned down a building.

"At first, living in the same room with her everyday..." He shook his head disapprovingly. "It was hell. I couldn't control my dislike for her, as always, so I never bothered to hide it. At first, she took my insults, just as she always did. But I never realized that every word I threw at her, she was _digesting_. She took everything very personally after a while...I could tell I was getting to her, and it made me happy. It made me feel like I was succeeding.

"Then, one afternoon, I saw her writing in something --- a book. She had hid it under her bed, thinking I wouldn't notice, but I did. I sure as hell did. I read through the first three lines and realized it was her diary," he said, a disgusted sneer disguising his face. "After reading it..." He hung his head, lost for words. "That journal changed me. It made me understand why she had so many cuts and bruises she was trying to hide from everybody. Inside herself, there was a monster emerging. And, before I knew it, I was sad myself. Her pain became mine. And, much to my surprise, I was very unhappy and angry about what was happening to her..."

"What?" I whispered, though I already knew the answer.

"She was being abused. Her father was a cruel man...he never even gave her a chance. The things she wrote...they were very graphic. Just reading them was quite a struggle, because I've never known anyone in my life who's been in that kind of situation with a parent. A parent." He let out a heartless laugh as the blood on the side of his face slid onto his neck. I gently brushed at it with the towel, wanting to hear more about my past.

"I still wasn't sure how I should react when I would have to see her. We lived in the same room, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to hold it in for long. But, before I could stash it, she barged in, looking like a mess, I might add, and she saw me holding it. For the first time, I feared her. I feared her reaction...what she would do to me. She was the one who was scared, though. We were both scared together when she walked in, her diary in my hands. I felt like a piece of me had torn itself up...like it could never possibly be mended again.

"I feared because I didn't want her to be angry with me. But she feared because she thought I would tell the entire school of what she had gone through...who she really was, behind the mask. I had always taunted her, always teased her. Yet, I never knew that it was nothing compared to the way her father treated her. I called her various things...I made fun of the fact that her parents were Muggles. Us purebloods are taught to be prejudice against those who have anything less than pure blood running through their veins. Until this day, I am disgusted with myself for making her life harder than it already was. 'Til this day, I still haven't forgiven myself for hurting her the way I did.

"The day she decided to jump off that bloody tower was the worst of my entire life. I had followed her, you see...I wondered where she was going, and I told myself I would find out. The tower was a whole four miles away from where we originally stood, but she walked the whole way to get to the tallest one. She was standing on the window's ledge, ready to jump... That's when I came in. I pleaded her, begged her to not jump. I called her name, but all she said was, "Draco...it's time."

"I understood, somewhat, then. She was giving up her life for the ones she loved. I talked to her for a few seconds. She told me she wanted to be free like the birds, but I just told her she didn't know what she was doing...that she would regret her decision. Without warning, she got off the ledge, and lowered herself safely to the ground. I was more than relieved---I was shocked with fear.

"She told me she didn't do it for me...but I didn't care. I remember clutching my chest and falling to the ground. I told her that she scared me, and that shocked her. She explained to me that she thought she was dirt to me. When she said that...boy, it angered me, burned deep in the pit of my stomach. That state of mind for me was long gone...I no longer felt that way about her, and I told her that, but she didn't believe in people changing for the better. She never did, and it was because of her past that she didn't. She was a mess...she continued to have the urge to cut. The first time I caught her cutting herself was the day I took all of the blades from her reach...

"I told her how much her father reminded me of my own, because he was just as demanding...overpowering, and scary. She was appalled at the similarities, although my father never touched me. After a few minutes, she said she would go, and she left me, aching. I felt miserable---the worst I felt in a very long time. I kept asking myself the same question: Why did every second that she left me after that feel like an eternity with every beat of my black heart?

"I stood up and brushed myself off, you know, just in case someone came in. The wonderful Draco Malfoy should never be found on a stone cold floor in an abandoned tower for no reason. After a moment, everything sort of just clicked to me. I was falling apart. Seeing her walk away from me like that, in such an instant the way she did...it was hard to watch. It was difficult to let her go. I faced the door, wishing with all of my might that she might come back to me---somehow. I didn't know how, but I still hoped.

"I felt so torn the first few minutes. I was so sure she wasn't coming back. No, I wasn't sure. I was positive. I felt myself breaking---it was something I had never felt before, and the feeling was very strong. Then I realized something---I was feeling what she was feeling. The pain that surged through my bones, the loneliness that ached, the rejection of a friend that tore my heart into pieces---it was all what she was feeling. It was how she felt every single day, and I respected her more than I ever had after that hit me.

"Before I knew it, something was holding me very tight. The girl had come back; she was hugging me, holding me together so that I couldn't fall apart. I don't think she realized how much she actually saved me that day," he sighed. I continued dabbing at his wounds; he didn't reject the offer.

"Then she did what I never expected---she thanked me. For what, I couldn't figure out at the time... But it all dawned on me later. She was thanking me for saving her, for making her feel wanted...when really, she was doing the same for me. We evened out each other out quite nicely." He continued to smile down at me. He wrapped his left arm around my waist, pulling me close while I cleaned him up.

"She wasn't better at first...but time passed...time moved on, and our bond was stronger than her own bond with her friends who still didn't know her deepest secrets like I did. I took care of her...I didn't allow her to harm herself anymore...I didn't allow her to make herself throw up her food, or starve herself. She was healing very quickly, and her progress was what kept me going. I continued to tell myself that no matter what happened, I would help that girl...help heal her, no matter what the circumstances, and no matter what it took.

"I wasn't really sure why the need to help her surged through me so boldly, so prominently. I was more than determined to get her back to normal; to make sure she would phase out of depression and get over her past. I wanted her to move on, and that was my only intention. To heal her broken wounds.

"Before I knew it, we had something special." He hugged me tighter, staring at the blank walls...a gentle, yet fierce look in his eyes. "I was more than a friend to her, and she appealed to me more than I thought possible. After that day...that she tried to kill herself by jumping off the tower...she changed me. She made me a better person. I was determined to make sure I would be with her the whole way. I would always be by her side, and stick with her no matter what. I promised her that I would never hurt her, that I would never do anything to upset her---or at least I would try.

"She was getting better...everyone noticed. She was smiling again, she was happy... Her friends, I thought, were never really true friends to her, but if she accepted them, then I would, too. They bothered me to extremes; it drove me insane for the most part. Then there was one of her best friends. The one that I hated the most...even more than Potter. I hated her friend, Ronald _Weasley_." He muttered Ron's name with great distaste, and I could only guess why.

"I always knew Weasley fancied the girl. We had started going out for a few days, and he was tempted, angry by how much time we were spending together. He wanted what I had---not that he knew the girl and I were a couple. But that didn't change the fact that he was jealous of me because of what I had, what I treasured, what I held so dear to my heart. He hated me, just as I did him, but he was doing whatever he could to make sure that we were seperated as much as possible.

"I remember the very first time I kissed her...it was only on her jaw, but I felt the same way she felt. I felt loved. I felt like she was the only person on earth holding my feet to the ground...We completed each other...but Weasley just wasn't satisfied. No, he wasn't satisfied at all.

"He wanted her to himself, and the fact that he didn't have her the way I did made him furious. It was in the Entrance Hall after meals one day...I saw her and the Weasel walk out together. She seemed pretty frustrated; she was dragging him out by the arm. I just smiled to myself; I was sure she was going to yell at him and it would ring through the Great Hall at any moment. But her yells never came. Ten minutes past, and it was agonizing. Who knew what was happening to my beloved girlfriend...?

"So, I excused myself from the Slytherin table---something I never did before; my friends were quite worried about me for a while---and went out into the Entrance Hall. I was pained by what I saw. Weasley---he was all over her. He was kissing her roughly, angrily---I was sure she had been defeated. It looked so much like she was enjoying the kiss, and it sickened me deeply. I wanted nothing more to get back at the pair of them. I wanted to let out my own anger, and I knew exactly how. I kicked the Weasel in the back; he collapsed to the floor.

"And as for my girlfriend...I left her. It was the stupidest most idiotic thing I could have ever done. I loved her---I didn't believe her when she told me that it was Ron who was kissing _her_, not the other way around. I stayed in the common room for the remainder of the time, angry at her, and angry at myself for letting it happen. I drank---I drank until I lost total control. There were parties every night, and I was being wasted. My breath stunk so bad, people couldn't bare to be around me anywhere. People insisted I tell them why I was acting so peculiar, but I didn't want to have to relive what I had seen, so I made up several excuses on my part.

"She stopped by to see me several times, but I denied her company the whole time---until one day. I couldn't bare not seeing her anymore. I needed to. I needed to hear her voice. I needed to see her soft, beautiful features. I walked outside, and there she was. I was still perfectly mad about what I thought she did, so when I spoke, there was venom. I asked her what she wanted...even though I already knew.

"She kept saying things like, 'how could you think I would do that to you?' and as soon as the words were out of her mouth, understanding washed through me. She had been telling the truth the whole entire time, and I was too much of a coward to believe the beautiful girl. It cleared my sinuses, knowing I was wrong, but I was ashamed. I tore myself up about it for days. I noticed her wandering around in a daze. She had to go to Neville Longbottom for comfort. I couldn't believe I was heartless enough to simply let her sink that low.

"After she told me, I couldn't speak, and I couldn't move. She thought it was the end. She thought I still didn't believe her, but I did. I was just too shocked to say it myself. I shouldn't have been shocked that that was the truth. I was disgusted with myself. Absolutely disgusted," he spat, shaking his head more furiously now. "She walked away, thinking that that was my answer. No. But it wasn't. I knew she was waiting for me to follow her---to scoop her up in my arms and tell her that I was stupid; that I believed her all along. But, when I got to her, she didn't remember..."

There was a very long pause. Blood was still trickling down his body, and although I was way too interested in his story describing my past through his eyes, I was much more concerned about his health. "Draco," I whispered. "Please, let me clean you up, at least."

He held my chin so that he could get a better look at me. He examined my eyes for a few minutes, and then nodded. "I'm going to need---"

"---Help, I know," I said, finishing his sentence. "I have absolutely no problem doing that. After all, it sounds like you healed me way more than necessary, anyway."

Once the words were out, I wished I could take them back. The look that overtook him that moment was heartbreaking. He looked up at me with the most expression I had ever seen. He shook his head and whispered, "You don't know the whole story, yet..."

My eyebrows knit in confusion. Didn't I already know the rest of the story? He had stopped at the part where I meet Madam Pomfrey for the "first time."

"Don't worry, then," I soothed, rubbing his back. "You can explain the rest to me later. But first, I would really like to get you cleaned up. And, I expect an explanation," I demanded. Helping him up, I practically carried him to the bathroom and set him down on the ledge of the bath tub. I unbuttoned his shirt and removed it very carefully; even with the slightest movements he would say "Ouch!" because of the sting.

Then came the pants. "Er...I don't have to take them off for you...unless it'll hurt you?"

He didn't take my question as a joke. I was grateful for that. "I'm sorry, but I think I'll need help. My hands are too badly cut to touch anything." I nodded, unbuttoned his pants, pulled down the zipper, and slipped them off. He was wearing black, velvet boxers that were slightly stained with blood.

I filled up the tub with water and told him to get in with his boxers on. There was no way I was going to help him bathe completely naked. "It's warm and ready," I chirped, gesturing for him to get in. He seemed to understand, never questioning the boxers, and got in, instant relief clouding his beautiful features.

After his whole body was soaked, I squeezed shampoo onto my hand and massaged it into his head. His eyes closed in relaxation and it made me happy that he, at least, was feeling a bit better. What made me unhappy and disgusted was the yellow color that filled the tub because of the blood. I rubbed the shampoo all over his blonde hair, rubbing hard, yet gently, removing all traces of blood embedded in his scalp. I did the same thing with the conditioner, rinsed, and realized I still needed to make sure that his body got clean, too.

"I'm sorry you have to do this," he apologized, interrupting my thoughts.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"I'm sorry you have to baby me like this. You don't deserve it..."

I stared at him for a moment, wondering if he really felt that way. I was disgusted by his thoughts. Why _wouldn't_ I want to help Draco? "Why would you say something like that?" I asked curiously.

He stared at me in confusion. "Don't you hate having to bathe me?...Having to take care of me like you're doing now? I'm filthy, yet...when you touch me...you do it so lovingly." He shook his head in misunderstanding. "I don't get it..."

I leaned in and kissed him on the forehead. "Draco, I love the fact that I'm doing this for you. I just want to see you up and running. I want to see you happy."

I took the bottle of body wash from behind him and squirted it on my raisiny hands. I rubbed it on his shoulder blades, his arms, his torso, and his back. I tried to be as gentle as possible with Draco. I held his hand in front of me, preparing to wash it, too.

"Tell me if I'm hurting you, okay?"

"Impossible," he muttered very silently. For a second, I wondered if it was meant for me to hear that. Without thinking further, I rubbed my hands into his, allowing the fragant body wash to remove the bacteria from his hand. Once I was done with the left one, I moved on to the right. I caught him wincing once or twice, and would instantly stop myself from going further.

"I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed after he flinched once. "I didn't mean to...I'm so stupid...I was just rubbing it too roughly...I'm sorry---"

He silenced me with a peck on the cheek and a heart-warming smile. "It's nothing," he promised. "You, love, worry too much. Please, keeping going. It's soothing...it calms me down." His smile never left his face as he closed his eyes and I continued to lightly scrubs his open wounds.

I cleared my throat and said, "Are your legs---?"

He opened his eyes very suddenly and answered, "Yes, they have cuts, too." He hung his head in shame. I leaned over the tub and lifted it up. 

"Why did you do this to yourself?" I asked. "Why are you causing yourself so much pain? It's not only hurting you, anymore, you know..."

"What do you mean?" he asked, as I let go of his chin and continued rubbing his wounds.

"It hurts me to see you like this...it hurts more than anything I've ever experienced, Draco. Look at you. You're bleeding all over...I feel so helpless right now..."

To my surprise he smiled. "You're everything but helpless, Hermione. Do you know how much you're helping me right now? I wouldn't be able to bathe myself without it hurting a ton if it weren't for you. Thank you." He smiled at me, and I returned it. "But, you should know, that that's exactly how I felt when I found out your darkest secrets..."

"I'm sorry...for making you feel that way. Not that I can even remember that life anymore..."

"I know you can't...it's the best thing that ever happened, isn't it?" he asked. When I looked up at him, I saw more than just a grin, but I saw a painful, pleading expression. It was as if he were begging...no...dying to hear me say 'yes'. But that wasn't the truth.

"To be perfectly honest...yes and no." His grin fell slightly. "I love that I can't remember my terrible past...but I hate the fact that..." My voice lowered. "That I can't remember you...what we shared, what we had. The way you described our love earlier...it stung me because I can't remember any of that. I can't remember exactly what it felt like when you kissed me for the first time and I can't remember what it felt like when you...saved me from myself." My voice could barely be heard because I was talking so quietly.

With a blink of an eye, I felt him lean towards me. He kissed my lips ever so gently, it almost felt like I was kissing air. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Why are you sorry?" I asked. He leaned back to examine my face and never answered my question. "Would you like to hear the rest of the story?"

I nodded willingly, anxious. "Well, then..." he continued, pain inflicted on his face once again.

"What is it, Draco? What is it that's bothering you so much? Why have you hurt yourself and..." I trailed off completely confused.

"The story...may I continue, please?" he asked. I nodded.

"One condition," he smirked.

"Yes?"

He waved his hands at himself and said, "Get in."

"I'm wearing clothes," I stated matter-of-factly.

He shrugged. "Take them off like I did."

"But...I...there's no room!" I said, finding any excuse to avoid the situation. I was dreading this just as much as he was loving every moment of it.

"Sit on my lap, then."

I turned away from him and asked, "Why?"

"Please?" he asked. His voice was so pleading...so hard to ignore. His voice was very close to my ear, his cool breath on my neck. "Please, Hermione?"

I sighed, closed my eyes, and nodded. I unbuttoned and unzipped my pants, shurgging them off. I was blushing deep scarlet; my face burned with embarrassment, but Draco didn't seem to be uncomfortable with what he saw. Rolling my eyes, I was about to take off my shirt, but he put a hand in front of me. "You helped me...let me help you."

I didn't have to mention the fact that he couldn't undress himself and I could...I knew he wasn't stupid. He wanted to return the favor.He slyly slipped the shirt off of me, and I was ready to get in. I sighed angrily, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. He curled his knees up to his chest as I got into the partly yellow-orange water. He then flattened out his legs, and made room for me to sit in between his legs. I sighed, resting the back of my head on his chest, and waiting to hear the rest.

"I'm a selfish person. More selfish than anyone would really like to think...I only wanted you to be happy, Hermione...that's why I did it."

"Did what?" I breathed, wanting to hear more. I felt his lips press into my hair.

"Guilt is something I can and cannot cover easily, Hermione. I loved you---I still love you. Seeing you so hurt by my reaction...seeing you think that I didn't love you...it made me so heartbroken, so angry, so completely furious and crazy. I didn't want you to continue thinking that I didn't love you. And I knew that by simply telling you that I never stopped loving you, you still wouldn't believe me. You're a very stubborn person, Hermione Granger...

"After I did what I did...I tore myself up even more. Yes, I didn't think it was even possible, but I did what you used to do to yourself. I asked Dobby to hurt me, and I told him why. I told him never to tell anybody about why I asked him to beat me. He was only slapping me...first degree...and that's when you came in. You stopped in, and I was mad. I needed to be hurt more for what I'd done to you. I realized that what I did...no one deserves unless they ask for it...and you, you never asked for it...

"I cut myself...over and over...that's why you're sitting here in this bath tub with me right now; because of my stupidity. I'm never going to be able to live with myself after what I did to you, Hermione..."

I waited in silence for the end of the explanation.

"And that is why," he said, "I made you lose your memory."

-----  
**  
I really hope you liked it:  
Review.**


	19. I Love You

**Hahhaha.  
Chapter Nineteen.  
Last Chapter.  
Indeed.  
So, enjoy.  
And review, please please please!  
Also, if you'd like me to write something..  
Just ask!  
REVIEW.**

-----

I was shocked. No, I was more than shocked. I was speechless. Knowing that Draco Malfoy --- the boy who constantly told me he loved me --- put the Memory Charm on me made me feel so low for believing him when he said he never did it. I was blind. I was mortified. I was confused. I was absorbed in him.

"But..." I murmured, "But, I love you."

His grip tightened around me, the murky water splashing us. "I know you do, and I love you, too. But don't you see? I felt so guilty...making you forget...I needed to hurt myself to get rid of the pain. But, I deserved it. I deserve all of these cuts and bruises. I deserve whatever you throw at me, Hermione, I know I do. If...if you'd like to leave me...to erase me from your life, I won't object. You deserve far better; I know you do. As much as it will hurt me, you are far more important...And once again, I am truly very sorry for what I have done to you."

Thoughts were swarming through me---and fast. I didn't know what, or _how_ to think. Maybe I really was going crazy. I loved him. I would always love him. Nothing in my life so far mattered more than this boy... Living without him was intolerable, and I didn't think I could do it.

So I murmured very softly against his skin, "I love you."

I could feel his shock flowing through him. I knew he wasn't expecting me to understand. But I wasn't the one for drama; seeing and hearing my story from his eyes made so much sense...it was so much easier to believe him because of it. "I...I love you too, Hermione," he muttered, his voice muffled by my hair. "But...I don't understand..."

"I understand you, Draco. I understand what you mean when you tell me you love me. I understand it all now. Leaving you certainly won't help the situation, will it? Your intentions were all good...you never meant any harm towards me. And not remembering that awful past of mine...it's better for me; healthier. Now I can breathe knowing that I can trust you...can't I?"

He leaned down, kissed my neck, and then stared into my eyes. "I swear to you, Hermione. I promise you, I will never ever lie to you or hurt you ever again. I love you too much, and I could never put you through so much ever again."

We stayed like that for the rest of the afternoon until the water drained itself out. I fell asleep, and was awoken much later in the night. I looked up, and Draco was sleeping very peacefully, his arms snaked around mine.

"Draco?" I whispered. "Draco...get up."

He squirmed and groaned, opening his eyes, and glancing down at me. "What time is it?"

"Late," I answered. "Come on. Let's get you cleaned up and into bed."

I saw him roll his eyes. "Fine, fine."

I helped him out, let him change his boxers while my back was towards him, and dressed him in his pajamas. The wounds had healed slightly; only to the extent that not much blood escaped the cuts. I bandaged him up and tucked him in bed.

"What? You're not staying with me?" he asked, somewhat worried.

I raised my eyebrows and said, "Draco, my bed's two feet away from yours---"

"No," he demanded, "Stay with me." "Draco---"

"Please?"

"But I---"

"_Please_, love?" he pleaded with me. How could I object at this point?

Sighing, I untucked him and got in besides him.

"Goodnight," I said sleepily.

"I love you," he answered, brushing the locks of hair out of my face.

"I know," I whispered.

"Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you...for saving me," he said.

"It wasn't that much trouble, you know...although, it did take up a whole load of bandages---"

He chuckled in disbelief, "No, silly. Thank you for saving me...from myself."

I contemplated this for a moment. "As corny as it sounds, we saved each other from ourselves, you know," I corrected, embarrassed.

He laughed, kissing me on the forehead. "I know."

It was then I realized that whatever lied ahead of me didn't really matter...as long as Draco was there with me, by my side. My furture, my parents, my career...it was nothing without him. But he was mine, and I did have him, so I knew I would never have to worry. Draco would protect me from whatever harm came my way, and I was sure of it.

Time passed, and I felt myself drifting off to sleep, with my one and only love cradling me in his protective arms.

-----  
**  
AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER...  
Sort of.  
:P  
Hope you liked it...I know it's super short, but I just really  
wanted to FINISH it. I was getting tired of writing it...  
So please review and tell me how you liked it...  
Thanks!  
:D**


	20. Epilogue: FAQ

**People still have questions concerning 'Save Me, Please.' I didn't feel like writing a whole proper Epilogue, so instead, I'm doing a FAQ.**  
**  
Q:** Does Hermione ever get her memory back?  
**A: **No, she doesn't. Her case is the same exact one that was casted upon Lockhart in the second novel. It's permanent. So no...  
**  
Q:** Marriage? Kids?  
**A: **Isn't the fanfic sort of self-explanatory...this question isn't necessary. Of course; can't you just imagine both of them getting married and having kids? I know I can.  
**  
Q:** Are you going to continue this story with a sequel?**  
A:** No, definitely not. Getting deeper and deeper into this story only made me want to quit writing it faster. I was getting tired of having to think of what to do for the next chapters... But, luckily, everything just came together. But no, no sequels.

**Q:** What about Hermione's dad?  
**A:** In the end, I explain that with Draco, Hermione will be just fine. She won't have to worry about her father as long as Draco is with her...

**Q:** What happens to Hermione's career?  
**A:** All I know is that she has a successful one :D Be creative...use your imagination for her future.

**  
Any more questions? Just ask...and thank you.**

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO READ!

Also, if you like Twilight, check out my one-shots 'My Almost Lover' and 'I Never Would Be.' I got pretty wicked reviews, so I think you'll like them.

Thank you.


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